Falling stars: Manchester United’s Portuguese striker Cristiano Ronaldo looks to the heavens as Brentford celebrate their fourth goal against United Falling stars: Manchester United’s Portuguese striker Cristiano Ronaldo looks to the heavens as Brentford celebrate their fourth goal against UnitedRoute the Capuchin monkey, seen here in a handout image from the San Luis Obispo County Sherriff’s Office, is the prime suspect in a mystery over a 911 call from a California zoo

Route the Capuchin monkey, seen here in a handout image from the San Luis Obispo County Sherriff’s Office, is the prime suspect in a mystery over a 911 call from a California zooIn Japan, authorities have been embarassed by data breaches after drinking sessionsIn Japan, authorities have been embarassed by data breaches after drinking sessionsIt took firefighters eight hours to get the man out of the collapsed tunnel in Rome

It took firefighters eight hours to get the man out of the collapsed tunnel in RomeBlack bears, the one in Montana who had been with her cubs, are found all over North America Black bears, the one in Montana who had been with her cubs, are found all over North America From a monkey with a mobile phone to Manchester United’s mounting woes. Your weekly roundup of offbeat stories from around the world.

– How we laughed –

For those who are not fans of the English Premier League’s most popular football club, Manchester United’s losing streak is cause enough for a smile.And with their expensively assembled side languishing bottom of England’s Premier League, Elon Musk could not resist adding another layer of hilarity to their misery.

“I’m buying Manchester United,” the world’s richest man tweeted after the team lost again to little Brentford, only to walk back his offer hours later saying, “No, this is a long-running joke on Twitter.”

We are not sure who this reflects worse on, failing United or Musk who previously said he was buying Twitter only to pull out.

– Right man for the job –

But that was nothing to the incredulity that greeted the appointment of a man as the first “period dignity officer” at a Scottish local authority.Former tennis star Martina Navratilova smashed Tayside Council’s “ridiculous” decision.

“Have we ever tried to explain to men how to shave or how to take care of their prostate?” she asked on Twitter.

Women’s rights campaigner Susan Dalgety wondered “why anyone thought it was a good idea to appoint a bloke.”

“I think being a man will help me to break down barriers,” said James Grant as the brickbats flew.

“Although affecting women directly, periods are an issue for everyone,” he said.

– Monkeying around –

Technology marches on as do primates, who have moved from typewriters to mobile phones with California cops rushing to a zoo after an emergency call — only to find it had been placed by a cheeky monkey.

Dispatchers sent officers to investigate after the 911 call from Zoo to You in San Luis Obispo County mysteriously disconnected. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, they discovered that “Route the Capuchin monkey had apparently picked up the zoo’s cell phone… which was in the zoo’s golf cart.”

Capuchins are particularly inquisitive creatures, who enjoy poking and pressing objects.

“And that’s what Route did… just so happened it was in the right combination of numbers to call us,” police said.

– Japan’s hangover blues –

Another week, another drunk middle-aged Japanese official causing chaos.After a tipsy salaryman mislaid personal data on all 460,000 inhabitants of the city of Amagasaki on his way home after a night out in June, a police officer lost sensitive information on 400 people after falling asleep drunk in the street in the western Hyogo region.The lost investigation documents contained personal details of around 400 people — including a criminal suspect.

– Hole lot of trouble –

Beyond Japan, it has been a terrible week for crooks, with a suspected Italian robber having to be rescued from a tunnel his gang tried to burrow into a bank.

The tunnel collapsed, trapping the man between an empty shop and the vault near the Vatican. Firefighters took eight hours to dig him out.

– Su-bear-u –

A mummy bear got stuck in a US couple’s car after somehow opening the door by the handle but struggling to get out again once inside.Mike Pilati called the sheriff in Red Lodge, Montana, but was told wildlife officials could only come the following day.Unable to listen to the bear “crunching up” his car any more, the next morning Pilati gingerly opened the car door with a stick “and the bear came roaring out”.

Unfortunately the ursine intruder badly mangled the interior of the Subaru car and left a lot of smell.But Pilati’s wife Maria said they still found reason to smile. They now call their car a “Su-bear-ru”.