Features
Cricket Balls TALK!
By Rajitha Ratwatte
fromoutsidethepearl@gmail.com
We had three concurrent test matches last week. Six countries and their elite cricketers on display. How the matches played out and the performance and attitude of the players could have exposed inherent flaws and strengths of the countries and their societies.
India versus Australia in Melbourne at the MCG, the bastion of Australian cricket. India had been unequivocally thrashed the previous week. All out for the lowest test score they had ever, in the history of Indian cricket, ever scored. Their captain had gone home to observe the new political correctness and be at home, with his wife for the birth of their baby. Everything pointed to another annihilation at the hands of the brash, loud and ugly Australian juggernaut. What happened? The stand-in Indian skipper played the innings of his life and that great fast bowler with none of the long smooth run-up to the wicket or even the Olympic sprinter like athleticism associated with great fast bowlers of the past, Jasprit Bumra, aided and abetted by Ashwin someone the Indian selectors have persisted with despite patchy form, delivered! A debutant opening batsman played out of his skin and showed unbelievable maturity in taking the side to the win. India won in circumstances that could only be described as miraculous and totally attributable to the self-belief, quiet confidence and MENTAL STRENGTH of the team and of course the support staff and administration.
Pakistan played New Zealand and from what looked like a hopeless position of being dismissed for a low first innings score and facing a huge Kiwi total, they fought, and they battled their way into the last and fifth day of the test. They even looked like they could make a play for trying to win at one stage and one wished they had, that would have made the gallantry of the effort complete, they lost with less than five overs left in a five-day test match! A 17-year-old no11 batsman on debut playing an uncertain shot after giving a good account of himself and due to no lack of effort on his part. That shot will haunt him and cause many sleepless nights, as is the case with a totally committed player who gives their all, but I trust he will recover.
Neil Wagner of New Zealand bowled a sustained spell with 2 fractured toes and took vital wickets to ensure the win. His captain spoke of him as follows:
“People talk about the size of his heart but to have a couple of broken toes… he was in a lot of pain,” man of the match Kane Williamson said. “We were trying to use him when the injection was taking effect. It was kind of unique for all of us but in particular Neil.
“It was a very, very special effort from Wags, one that the team appreciated. We needed him out there and he delivered.”
On the subject of balls, those folks are “cohunes”, as the Mexican say. That is why and how New Zealand has survived and even if I dare say it, thrived through the Corona pandemic. The responsibility and the commitment of her people to ensure that the team of five million, as the PM called it, would succeed with every single member contributing to their utmost.
Of course, you know by now where this article is heading! To our dismal, pathetic and abject performance against the Proteas. Just look at the expressions on the faces of the Lankan players I say! They looked like the proverbial “stunned mullets”. Stunned mullets who thrive on dissipation. Kasun Rajitha, who is no debutant 17-year-old, batted like he had never held a bat in his hand before, during the first innings and then, of course, broke down after a few balls of his opening spell with a mysterious groin strain. When we were 9 wickets down and needing something like 2 runs to establish the highest total ever achieved by a subcontinental team in South Africa, no one could be found to come and at least hang around at the non-striker’s end and GIVE IT A GO. Remember Colin Cowdrey coming out to bat with an arm in Plaster and of course Neil Wagner bowling pace with two broken toes! The same drugs available to Wagner would have been available to a certain star batsman who was lounging in the dressing room with his thigh strapped up and a sickly grin on his face with “retired hurt” against his name on the scorecard! Chandimal I am told is also having a groin strain, I wonder if it is contagious, in fact, may be a symptom of another variety of Covid?!! Of course, it could be a symptom that looks more and more prevalent among our bunch of highly paid and absolutely uncommitted cricketers, a symptom of having done enough to ensure a place in the team for the next series and hence having no desire to risk botching their record or average. BTW during a recent discussion on the utter uselessness of our cricket team, someone proposed a new player of the decade award to one of our very own. Angelo Mathews to be given the award for the most injured player of the decade! Remember the days of Alex Kontori as physio? The heydays of our cricket, we had hardly any injuries and if it could be done once, of course, it can be done again. Alex was so good that the Aussies took him back! Lack of fitness and fielding skills cannot be excused. It only takes application, commitment and unrelenting hours of practice to excel at these things.
Of course, no one will take responsibility. I see so many officials hanging around on tour, no doubt travelling and paid for on cricket board funds. What is their purpose? What do they contribute? Or is it their God-given right to enjoy these privileges just because they made innocuous contributions to mediocre teams in the past? I don’t see too many of our world cup winning teams members among the officials or even team members from those that featured in two other world cup finals. The second test is on at the time of writing. A disastrous start seems to have been somewhat rectified but a change in the result is still very much in doubt. Meanwhile the English cricket team has arrived in the Pearl. Yes, the ENGLISH, that is the country that has a new and extremely virulent strain of the virus. Are we gluttons for punishment or are we so desperate for money that the TV payment will make a difference? On the other hand keeping the public distracted may be a motive. Let’s hope reducing the population isn’t!
And that dear readers is the Patheticity (another new word!) of our dearly beloved, ex-pearl of the Indian ocean, in a nutshell. We do not have the cohunes (read as cricket balls), we do not have the commitment and we do not have the leadership to even give a decent account of ourselves on a cricket field. Even the 330 million Gods who according to legend look after our land will find it hard to save us from where we are heading now. We had it in the not too distant past but all those who showed us how to do it are discarded or have chosen to follow more lucrative paths. It is difficult to blame them (although a modicum of blame does exist in my heart) because pure patriotism in the face of pure unadulterated Moronism (another one!) from a spineless, characterless, stupid society is a mug’s game!