Features
Incomparable, truly lovely Dil Jayawardena
I had met, listened to, read, and spoken to Elmo Jayawardena. Admired him very much too. He invariably brought his wife into any public address he made or personal conversation. Hence my emails
conveyed my regards to Dil though I had not met her. Then I did. I invited the two of them to visit and as she stood in my doorway smiling so friendly, I immediately warmed to her. I felt she was a friend I knew so well. I was struck by the fact that there was no remarkably outstanding facial feature in Dil but she was truly beautiful, very beautiful. I surmised her loveliness was because her warm and generous personality shone through. She gives the impression of sincere friendliness and puts one at ease.
Elmo decided to give his beloved spouse a Christmas gift of appreciation. I wanted to be part of it. Thus we decided to surprise Dil with an article in the Sunday Island. Elmo was a mite skeptical since Dil shies away from publicity and avoids the limelight. But I said a little bit of shyness suffered is worth a surprise that should turn pleasant. So here goes. I need input, I said, and Elmo wrote around and my goodness, I was stormed under a deluge of messages of heartfelt praise. Some were personal friends; some who worked in CandleAid; others who had been helped by Elmo and Dil; and one was their daughter Dineli who said she could retail reams about her mother.
The person
Dilrukshi de Mel was made to meet Elmo on the fringe of a basketball court. Priya Cooray, close family friend supplied the details. “Eie Priya, umba ada Dil Akkava geneng”. Typical Elmo command. It was to the Moratuwa YWCA to watch him play basketball. Priya adds it was to show off his games’ prowess; and so Priya took Dil on the pillion of his bike. “Dil watched with amusement and blushes, hearing all the sudda Sinhala accompanied by rude gestures of the big boys at play.” This was in the early ‘70s when Dil was working in the Central Bank and Elmo was training to be a pilot. Dil reciprocated Elmo’s youthful advances with the admission she was attracted to him. So developed love between them which has grown deeper and stronger in the 48 years they have been married. (Elmo’s cryptic and blush-producing comment is that she married this “Spherical bastard who adores her.” They have been devoted to each other and thence his success as a prestigious pilot and their combined work to help the less fortunate. They have daughter Dineli, son Mevan, and four grandchildren who adore her as she adores them.
This great and good woman seems to be the wind beneath Elmo’s wings and those wings were of a most prestigious pilot and trainer of Air Lanka and Singapore Airlines. He acknowledges that he owes all to his wife and adds she is an excellent communicator and a silent worker committed to achieving results without caring who gets the credit. She edits everything he writes, whether a novel or a report. “She is exceptionally kind to the poor. I have never met anyone who did not or does not like her.”
Dil was a Founder Director of The Association of Lighting a Candle – AFLAC in 1994 which evolved to CandleAid in 2007. She has been its Education Director for 27 years and currently counts more than 1,000 students on sponsorship. She handles all admin matters and heads the Planning Committee alongside Elmo.
Others’ opinions
Priya Cooray included this in his lengthy praise of Dil. “Every time adversity struck me her soul uplifted me with so much of spiritual strength, faith, and hope. She has been an angel on earth for me, continuing some unfinished business God has left in her hands.
“It is what Dil Akka does to reflect God’s love for mankind that makes me realize how wonderfully blessed I am, especially when we come together with Elmo to serve the needy. It has been a wonderful journey and an immense pleasure to work with her though I could hardly keep up with her pace. Just like her man, when working for the needy or for anyone, it is never a worry to her when the sun rises or when it dives beneath the horizon; she goes on. ‘Busy as a bee’ she says with appreciation. The terms like sacrifice, dedication and commitment are words too small to be applied to her; she is much more.
“Before one of my important decisions in life she wrote: ‘I have not forgotten that you are going tomorrow to Algeria – and you are going into a sort of a climax – but I fear not for you, as God will be your protector – have prayed for you much’. I survived Algeria and she protected me all the way with her prayers. I will never forget what she once said: ‘Don’t tell God how big your problem is but tell your problem how big God is’. That is her, my Guardian Angel.”
Dhananath Fernando who started helping Elmo with swimming for young ones, came under his and Dil’s protective and promoting guidance. He is committed and keen on any undertaking, thus he is now CEO of Advocata Sri Lanka. He was recently in the US having won an Eisenhower Fellowship. He was also awarded $100,000 for Advocata as the Templeton Award for this year, which he personally received in New York.
He wrote thus: “Aunty Dil is one of the most kind hearted people I have ever met. My mentor Captain Elmo calls her ‘Captain of the Captain’ or ‘CEO of the CEO’ which honour she truly deserves. I have witnessed myself what we see most inside of the award winning author Elmo Jayawardena, which is actually Dil Jayawardena. She is so humble to always be backstage, making Elmo Jayawardena perfect on public stage. I often think the Picasso of Elmo is none other than Dil.
“She has been very influential in my life too. She spent time improving my English. She has the incredible ability to encourage people. She kept us in her prayers and thoughts for the longest time I can recall. She truly cares about people and it just comes from the bottom of her heart. I have witnessed many a time how she goes completely out of her way to help people in need. She cannot sleep when someone is in trouble. I have also noted how she conducts herself: so natural, simple and humble. Though CandleAid is known as Capt Jayawardena’s brainchild and organization, the engine and live-wire both are Dil J.

“Capt Elmo is an award winning author but I bet my last rupee that he will not be able to write a book or an essay without her help. She is his greatest critic and pretty much the creator as well as the supporter of everything he undertakes. That’s the Horekale interpretation.”
“Capt Wilhelm Dias and his German wife Sabine are very close family friends,” Elmo wrote as a preface to what Sabine Dias sent me. “She has been the international coordinator of the CandleAid cancer programme for more than 20 years. She certainly is from the top shelf.”
Sabine wrote: “Dil is one of my closest, dearest friends for more than 20 years. She has been my rock and constant in good and sad times. She is family to me. She works tirelessly for the poor and anyone who is in need, sacrificing her time and life to help others and I do really admire that in her. She is my hero!”
Her work
I am certain readers know of CandleAid. However I include here a very brief introduction since it is Dil who manages the entire outfit: office, accounts, programmes, coordination, with of course Elmo calling the shots, as it were. It is written by Elmo.
” CandleAid is the most important thing I did in my life. The Organization helps people in need, irrespective of what race they belong to and which God they worship. We may not have moved mountains, but we did level a few anthills through the years. There were many Starfish we picked from the beach and threw back to the sea.”
Here again I needs must comment. Men plan; women execute. That is my maxim noticed as true several times over. Elmo may use a choice Sinhala word or two on me, but I must give expression to my impression. A baby is made with mere input from a man but the woman carries the foetus for nine months, sometimes with suffering, and with immense pain brings forth to life a baby. The task of bringing up the child mostly devolves on her. Just so a man gets a brilliant idea and the work roosts on a woman – most often spouse. Elmo probably proclaimed in the 1990s: “We have spare time now and are financially OK, So let’s help the underprivileged.” Super duper idea! Who did the ground work and carried it through? Dil.
There really are hundreds, nay thousands, who praise Dil and love and admire her. Some owe their successes to her; some gratitude for her kind empathy that pulled them through difficulties. A few may even owe their mental well being to this kind, affectionate woman who remains simple, dedicated to God, work, family and friends
Features
How Black Civil Rights leaders strengthen democracy in the US
On being elected US President in 2008, Barack Obama famously stated: ‘Change has come to America’. Considering the questions continuing to grow out of the status of minority rights in particular in the US, this declaration by the former US President could come to be seen as somewhat premature by some. However, there could be no doubt that the election of Barack Obama to the US presidency proved that democracy in the US is to a considerable degree inclusive and accommodating.
If this were not so, Barack Obama, an Afro-American politician, would never have been elected President of the US. Obama was exceptionally capable, charismatic and eloquent but these qualities alone could not have paved the way for his victory. On careful reflection it could be said that the solid groundwork laid by indefatigable Black Civil Rights activists in the US of the likes of Martin Luther King (Jnr) and Jesse Jackson, who passed away just recently, went a great distance to enable Obama to come to power and that too for two terms. Obama is on record as owning to the profound influence these Civil Rights leaders had on his career.
The fact is that these Civil Rights activists and Obama himself spoke to the hearts and minds of most Americans and convinced them of the need for democratic inclusion in the US. They, in other words, made a convincing case for Black rights. Above all, their struggles were largely peaceful.
Their reasoning resonated well with the thinking sections of the US who saw them as subscribers to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, for instance, which made a lucid case for mankind’s equal dignity. That is, ‘all human beings are equal in dignity.’
It may be recalled that Martin Luther King (Jnr.) famously declared: ‘I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed….We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’
Jesse Jackson vied unsuccessfully to be a Democratic Party presidential candidate twice but his energetic campaigns helped to raise public awareness about the injustices and material hardships suffered by the black community in particular. Obama, we now know, worked hard at grass roots level in the run-up to his election. This experience proved invaluable in his efforts to sensitize the public to the harsh realities of the depressed sections of US society.
Cynics are bound to retort on reading the foregoing that all the good work done by the political personalities in question has come to nought in the US; currently administered by Republican hard line President Donald Trump. Needless to say, minority communities are now no longer welcome in the US and migrants are coming to be seen as virtual outcasts who need to be ‘shown the door’ . All this seems to be happening in so short a while since the Democrats were voted out of office at the last presidential election.
However, the last US presidential election was not free of controversy and the lesson is far too easily forgotten that democratic development is a process that needs to be persisted with. In a vital sense it is ‘a journey’ that encounters huge ups and downs. More so why it must be judiciously steered and in the absence of such foresighted managing the democratic process could very well run aground and this misfortune is overtaking the US to a notable extent.
The onus is on the Democratic Party and other sections supportive of democracy to halt the US’ steady slide into authoritarianism and white supremacist rule. They would need to demonstrate the foresight, dexterity and resourcefulness of the Black leaders in focus. In the absence of such dynamic political activism, the steady decline of the US as a major democracy cannot be prevented.
From the foregoing some important foreign policy issues crop-up for the global South in particular. The US’ prowess as the ‘world’s mightiest democracy’ could be called in question at present but none could doubt the flexibility of its governance system. The system’s inclusivity and accommodative nature remains and the possibility could not be ruled out of the system throwing up another leader of the stature of Barack Obama who could to a great extent rally the US public behind him in the direction of democratic development. In the event of the latter happening, the US could come to experience a democratic rejuvenation.
The latter possibilities need to be borne in mind by politicians of the South in particular. The latter have come to inherit a legacy of Non-alignment and this will stand them in good stead; particularly if their countries are bankrupt and helpless, as is Sri Lanka’s lot currently. They cannot afford to take sides rigorously in the foreign relations sphere but Non-alignment should not come to mean for them an unreserved alliance with the major powers of the South, such as China. Nor could they come under the dictates of Russia. For, both these major powers that have been deferentially treated by the South over the decades are essentially authoritarian in nature and a blind tie-up with them would not be in the best interests of the South, going forward.
However, while the South should not ruffle its ties with the big powers of the South it would need to ensure that its ties with the democracies of the West in particular remain intact in a flourishing condition. This is what Non-alignment, correctly understood, advises.
Accordingly, considering the US’ democratic resilience and its intrinsic strengths, the South would do well to be on cordial terms with the US as well. A Black presidency in the US has after all proved that the US is not predestined, so to speak, to be a country for only the jingoistic whites. It could genuinely be an all-inclusive, accommodative democracy and by virtue of these characteristics could be an inspiration for the South.
However, political leaders of the South would need to consider their development options very judiciously. The ‘neo-liberal’ ideology of the West need not necessarily be adopted but central planning and equity could be brought to the forefront of their talks with Western financial institutions. Dexterity in diplomacy would prove vital.
Features
Grown: Rich remnants from two countries
Whispers of Lanka
I was born in a hamlet on the western edge of a tiny teacup bay named Mirissa on the South Coast of Sri Lanka. My childhood was very happy and secure. I played with my cousins and friends on the dusty village roads. We had a few toys to play with, so we always improvised our own games. On rainy days, the village roads became small rivulets on which we sailed paper boats. We could walk from someone’s backyard to another, and there were no fences. We had the freedom to explore the surrounding hills, valleys, and streams.
I was good at school and often helped my classmates with their lessons. I passed the General Certificate of Education (Ordinary Level) at the village school and went to Colombo to study for the General Certificate of Education (Advanced Level). However, I did not like Colombo, and every weekend I hurried back to the village. I was not particularly interested in my studies and struggled in specific subjects. But my teachers knew that I was intelligent and encouraged me to study hard.
To my amazement, I passed the Advanced Level, entered the University of Kelaniya, completed an honours degree in Economics, taught for a few months at a central college, became a lecturer at the same university, and later joined the Department of Census and Statistics as a statistician. Then I went to the University of Wales in the UK to study for an MSc.
The interactions with other international students in my study group, along with very positive recommendations from my professors, helped me secure several jobs in the oil-rich Middle Eastern countries, where I earned salaries unimaginable in Sri Lankan terms. During this period, without much thought, I entered a life focused on material possessions, social status, and excessive consumerism.
Life changes
Unfortunately, this comfortable, enjoyable life changed drastically in the mid-1980s because of the political activities of certain groups. Radicalised youths, brainwashed and empowered by the dynamics of vibrant leftist politics, killed political opponents as well as ordinary people who were reluctant to follow their orders. Their violent methods frightened a large section of Sri Lanka’s middle class into reluctantly accepting country-wide closures of schools, factories, businesses, and government offices.
My father’s generation felt a deep obligation to honour the sacrifices they had made to give us everything we had. There was a belief that you made it in life through your education, and that if you had to work hard, you did. Although I had never seriously considered emigration before, our sons’ education was paramount, and we left Sri Lanka.
Although there were regulations on what could be brought in, migrating to Sydney in the 1980s offered a more relaxed airport experience, with simpler security, a strong presence of airline staff, and a more formal atmosphere. As we were relocating permanently, a few weeks before our departure, we had organised a container to transport sentimental belongings from our home. Our flight baggage was minimal, which puzzled the customs officer, but he laughed when he saw another bulky item on a separate trolley. It was a large box containing a bookshelf purchased in Singapore. Upon discovering that a new migrant family was arriving in Australia with a 32-volume Encyclopaedia Britannica set weighing approximately 250 kilograms, he became cheerful, relaxed his jaw, and said, G’day!
Settling in Sydney
We settled in Epping, Sydney, and enrolled our sons in Epping Boys’ High School. Within one week of our arrival from Sri Lanka, we both found jobs: my wife in her usual accounting position in the private sector, and I was taken on by the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA). While working at the CAA, I sat the Australian Graduate Admission Test. I secured a graduate position with the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) in Canberra, ACT.
We bought a house in Florey, close to my office in Belconnen. The roads near the house were eerily quiet. Back in my hometown of Pelawatta, outside Colombo, my life had a distinct soundtrack. I woke up every morning to the radios blasting ‘pirith’ from the nearby houses; the music of the bread delivery van announcing its arrival, an old man was muttering wild curses to someone while setting up his thambili cart near the junction, free-ranging ‘pariah’ dogs were barking at every moving thing and shadows. Even the wildlife was noisy- black crows gathered on the branches of the mango tree in front of the house to perform a mournful dirge in the morning.
Our Australian neighbours gave us good advice and guidance, and we gradually settled in. If one of the complaints about Asians is that they “won’t join in or integrate to the same degree as Australians do,” this did not apply to us! We never attempted to become Aussies; that was impossible because we didn’t have tanned skin, hazel eyes, or blonde hair, but we did join in the Australian way of life. Having a beer with my next-door neighbour on the weekend and a biannual get-together with the residents of the lane became a routine. Walking or cycling ten kilometres around the Ginninderra Lake with a fit-fanatic of a neighbour was a weekly ritual that I rarely skipped.
Almost every year, early in the New Year, we went to the South Coast. My family and two of our best friends shared a rented house near the beach for a week. There’s not much to do except mix with lots of families with kids, dogs on the beach, lazy days in the sun with a barbecue and a couple of beers in the evening, watching golden sunsets. When you think about Australian summer holidays, that’s all you really need, and that’s all we had!
Caught between two cultures
We tried to hold on to our national tradition of warm hospitality by organising weekend meals with our friends. Enticed by the promise of my wife’s home-cooked feast, our Sri Lankan friends would congregate at our place. Each family would also bring a special dish of food to share. Our house would be crammed with my friends, their spouses and children, the sound of laughter and loud chatter – English mingled with Sinhala – and the aroma of spicy food.
We loved the togetherness, the feeling of never being alone, and the deep sense of belonging within the community. That doesn’t mean I had no regrets in my Australian lifestyle, no matter how trivial they may have seemed. I would have seen migration to another country only as a change of abode and employment, and I would rarely have expected it to bring about far greater changes to my psychological role and identity. In Sri Lanka, I have grown to maturity within a society with rigid demarcation lines between academic, professional, and other groups.
Furthermore, the transplantation from a patriarchal society where family bonds were essential to a culture where individual pursuit of happiness tended to undermine traditional values was a difficult one for me. While I struggled with my changing role, my sons quickly adopted the behaviour and aspirations of their Australian peers. A significant part of our sons’ challenges lay in their being the first generation of Sri Lankan-Australians.
The uniqueness of the responsibilities they discovered while growing up in Australia, and with their parents coming from another country, required them to play a linguistic mediator role, and we, as parents, had to play the cultural mediator role. They were more gregarious and adaptive than we were, and consequently, there was an instant, unrestrained immersion in cultural diversity and plurality.
Technology
They became articulate spokesmen for young Australians growing up in a world where information technology and transactions have become faster, more advanced, and much more widespread. My work in the ABS for nearly twenty years has followed cycles, from data collection, processing, quality assurance, and analysis to mapping, research, and publishing. As the work was mainly computer-based and required assessing and interrogating large datasets, I often had to depend heavily on in-house software developers and mainframe programmers. Over that time, I have worked in several areas of the ABS, making a valuable contribution and gaining a wide range of experience in national accounting.
I immensely valued the unbiased nature of my work, in which the ABS strived to inform its readers without the influence of public opinion or government decisions. It made me proud to work for an organisation that had a high regard for quality, accuracy, and confidentiality. I’m not exaggerating, but it is one of the world’s best statistical organisations! I rubbed shoulders with the greatest statistical minds. The value of this experience was that it enabled me to secure many assignments in Vanuatu, Fiji, East Timor, Saudi Arabia, and the Solomon Islands through the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund after I left the ABS.
Living in Australia
Studying and living in Australia gave my sons ample opportunities to realise that their success depended not on acquiring material wealth but on building human capital. They discovered that it was the sum total of their skills embodied within them: education, intelligence, creativity, work experience and even the ability to play basketball and cricket competitively. They knew it was what they would be left with if someone stripped away all of their assets. So they did their best to pursue their careers on that path and achieve their life goals. Of course, the healthy Australian economy mattered too. As an economist said, “A strong economy did not transform a valet parking attendant into a professor. Investment in human capital did that.”
Nostalgia
After living in Australia for several decades, do I miss Sri Lanka? Which country deserves my preference, the one where I was born or the one to which I migrated? There is no single answer; it depends on opportunities, prospects, lifestyle, and family. Factors such as the cost of living, healthcare, climate, and culture also play significant roles in shaping this preference. Tradition in a slow-motion place like Sri Lanka is an ethical code based on honouring those who do things the same way you do, and dishonour those who don’t. However, in Australia, one has the freedom to express oneself, to debate openly, to hold unconventional views, to be more immune to peer pressure, and not to have one’s every action scrutinised and discussed.
For many years, I have navigated the challenges of cultural differences, conflicting values, and the constant negotiation of where I truly ‘belong.’ Instead of yearning for a ‘dream home’ where I once lived, I have struggled, and to some extent succeeded, to find a home where I live now. This does not mean I have forgotten or discarded my roots. As one Sri Lankan-Australian senior executive remarked, “I have not restricted myself to the box I came in… I was not the ethnicity, skin colour, or lack thereof, of the typical Australian… but that has been irrelevant to my ability to contribute to the things which are important to me and to the country adopted by me.” Now, why do I live where I live – in that old house in Florey? I love the freshness of the air, away from the city smog, noisy traffic, and fumes. I enjoy walking in the evening along the tree-lined avenues and footpaths in my suburb, and occasionally I see a kangaroo hopping along the nature strip. I like the abundance of trees and birds singing at my back door. There are many species of birds in the area, but a common link with ours is the melodious warbling of resident magpies. My wife has been feeding them for several years, and we see the new fledglings every year. At first light and in the evening, they walk up to the back door and sing for their meal. The magpie is an Australian icon, and I think its singing is one of the most melodious sounds in the suburban areas and even more so in the bush.
by Siri Ipalawatte
Features
Big scene for models…
Modelling has turned out to be a big scene here and now there are lots of opportunities for girls and boys to excel as models.
Of course, one can’t step onto the ramp without proper training, and training should be in the hands of those who are aware of what modelling is all about.
Rukmal Senanayake is very much in the news these days and his Model With Ruki – Model Academy & Agency – is responsible for bringing into the limelight, not only upcoming models but also contestants participating in beauty pageants, especially internationally.
On the 29th of January, this year, it was a vibrant scene at the Temple Trees Auditorium, in Colombo, when Rukmal introduced the Grey Goose Road To Future Model Hunt.

Tharaka Gurukanda … in
the scene with Rukmal
This is the second Model Hunt to be held in Sri Lanka; the first was in 2023, at Nelum Pokuna, where over 150 models were able to showcase their skills at one of the largest fashion ramps in Sri Lanka.
The concept was created by Rukmal Senanayake and co-founded by Tharaka Gurukanda.
Future Model Hunt, is the only Southeast Asian fashion show for upcoming models, and designers, to work along and create a career for their future.
The Grey Goose Road To Future Model Hunt, which showcased two segments, brought into the limelight several models, including students of Ruki’s Model Academy & Agency and those who are established as models.
An enthusiastic audience was kept spellbound by the happenings on the ramp.

Doing it differently
Four candidates were also crowned, at this prestigious event, and they will represent Sri Lanka at the respective international pageants.
Those who missed the Grey Goose Road To Future Model Hunt, held last month, can look forward to another exciting Future Model Hunt event, scheduled for the month of May, 2026, where, I’m told, over 150 models will walk the ramp, along with several designers.
It will be held at a prime location in Colombo with an audience count, expected to be over 2000.
Model With Ruki offers training for ramp modelling and beauty pageants and other professional modelling areas.
Their courses cover: Ramp walk techniques, Posture and grooming, Pose and expression, Runway etiquette, and Photo shoots and portfolio building,
They prepare models for local and international fashion events, shoots, and competitions and even send models abroad for various promotional events.
-
Life style4 days agoMarriot new GM Suranga
-
Business3 days agoMinistry of Brands to launch Sri Lanka’s first off-price retail destination
-
Features4 days agoMonks’ march, in America and Sri Lanka
-
Features4 days agoThe Rise of Takaichi
-
Features4 days agoWetlands of Sri Lanka:
-
News4 days agoThailand to recruit 10,000 Lankans under new labour pact
-
News4 days agoMassive Sangha confab to address alleged injustices against monks
-
News2 days agoIMF MD here
