Sat Mag
Election reminiscences Part III
Continued from October 10
This story is hard to believe, but nevertheless true. It was the general election of 1947 and the results of the Akuressa Electorate were announced. It being a stronghold of the Communist Party, its candidate. W.P.A. Wickramasinghe was an easy winner. After the election results were announced, the counting staff found, to their horror, that they have overlooked three ballot, boxes!. The agitated Returning Officer rushed down to Colombo and informed the Elections Commissioner about it.” Get back at once and somehow get the candidates to agree to the counting of the three ballot boxes in their presence,” said the Returning office, adding, “If it makes a difference to the result already announced, contact me.”
The candidates readily agreed to accommodate the Returning Officer and when the votes were counted the original results remained unchanged, with the majority of votes a so counted, with the winner.
One ola leaf reading in Madras, written thousands of years ago, gave the name of a future Prime Minister of Sri Lanka as ‘West Ri Vandaran’. (West Ri Bandaranaike).
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The Sinhala New year dawned a few days after this General Election. But despite the fun and festivities, thousands of people were still licking their election wounds, the air was hardly friendly. In a certain village, some right thinking people decided to organize an Avurudu Uthsavaya (New Year Festival), and invite the person who had been selected as MP and his rival, who had lost, as Chief Guests.
As the winning MP was proceeding to the festival, in his brand new Pajero, he saw his rival’s battered W jeep being pushed along the road by some youngsters. Stopping his Pajero the MP asked his rival, who was at the wheel, “What is wrong?” “I don’t know machang, the damn thing just packed up,” was the reply. “And now I’m going to be late for the Avrudu Uthsavaya to which I’ve been invited.” “Jump into my vehicle,” said the MP, “I am also going for the same festival.
When the crowd saw the two erstwhile rivals arriving together, they were given huge cheers amid the din of lit crackers. In their speeches both politicos appealed to the villagers to forget their political difference and live in harmony. “If we can be friends after such an intensive and bitter campaign why not you people?” the two of them said.
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When S.W.R.D. Banadaranaike was cast ashore on the golden sands of political power in 1956, some MPs were ill-educated, clueless, nonentities. “We shudder to think how you are going to speak in Parliament,” said a friend to one such MP. “Why should I speak I say? The Speaker is there no?” retorted the MP.
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One day a senior minister read aloud a newspaper headline, in the presence of several fellow MPs, “President Carter sends Cyrus Vance to India.” “Sir!” said a new young MP promptly, “If he sends any to Sri Lanka, I want three or four vans for my electorate!”. (Cyrus Vance was the US Secretary of State).
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In 1956, a large number of MPs donned the popular mass appeal garb called the national dress. One such MP went to a Government Department to get some work done. The head of the Department saw him and called one of his assistants to find out who he is. The assistant offhandedly said, “He is either an MP or a peon, as both of them looked alike these days!”
Apart from the above dress, some of the MPs wore a trouser (instead of the verti), donning the banian of the national dress on top. It was called a ‘Kapati kit.
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In the General Election of 1956, when SWRD’s Mahajana Eksath Peramuna (MEP) swept into power, the Colombo Central Seat riveted everybody’s attention. M.S. Themis, a minor employee in the Postal Department, proved to be a killer, when he was returned as one of the three members to that seat, routing a Mayor, (V.A. Sugathadasa) a Minister, (Dr. M.C.M. Kaleel), Ex-Ambassador to Burma (A. E. Goonesinghe). I still remember ‘contributing my mite, in the form of 10 cents, to Themis’ election fund when the till went round at one of his meetings.
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One day an MP who made every effort to impress and make his presence felt, both inside and outside Parliament, greeted the former Prime Minister Sir John as “Hallo John!”, Sir John’s angry reaction is better imagined than said. Another day a lady known to this MP, gave him a lift to the Parliament. As there were some parcels on the front seat she apologetically requested him, “I hope you don’t mind occupying the back seat.” To her horror he blurted out “My lady, I am comfortable on your back side.” At the destination, very correctly, he thanked the lady, whereupon she courteously replied, “Don’t mention.” The politician then told the good lady to her utter embarrassment, “Don’t worry, I won’t mention it to anyone.”
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One day a lady had taken the train from Colombo to Kandy and had got into the wrong carriage. When a minister met her at the Kandy station, he had said “Madam! I am sorry you had a miscarriage.
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One day a young M.P. told S.W.R.D. “Sir! I am going to make my maiden speech in the House tomorrow and what form should it take?” The premier had replied, “My dear fellow! A good speech should be like a fashion-conscious girl’s frock. So short as to arouse interest but long enough to cover the subject.” One of his Cabinet Ministers who was a smug, pompous ass who made every effort to impress and make his presence felt, limped into the House one day. Seeing him the Premier asked, “My dear fellow! what’s wrong with you?” “My ankle is swollen Sir,” replied the Minister. “So your lower extremity is also swollen?”
There was a young MP who had more money than brains. He used to buy new cars and sold them off each time, only a short while later, to buy another. One day SWRD asked him, “My dear fellow! I heard that you have bought another new car. What happened to the car you bought last month?” “I sold it Sir! I get rid of anything once the novelty wears off ” My dear fellow!” I hope you don’t ever get married.”
One day a party stalwart said, “Sir! We promised the people Sinhala Only in twenty-four hours and it is weeks since we were elected. Nothing seems to be happening and the people are asking awkward questions.” “My dear fellow,” said Bandaranaike, “What does one mean by 24 hours?” “One day,” replied the party man. “Exactly”, chuckled Bandaranaike “and we shall make Sinhala Only the state language one day!”
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On the appointed day, a deputation of a Trade Union called on one of the clever Ministers in the SWRD Cabinet. He was a very witty man who told the deputation that he liked to meet trade union delegations as they had very interesting demands, adding that in Marseilles, the dock workers who handled a shipment of women’s underwear went on strike demanding “a temptation allowance!”
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During election time several years ago, two candidates vied for the Galle Seat. A fellow club member took a thousand rupee bet with another, that one candidate, whom he named, would win. The two ‘betters’ handed a thousand each to a senior member who would hold it and pay the winner. But a few days later, when he heard from several people that the other candidate was the sure winner, my friend got cold feet. So as a form of ‘insurance’, he stealthily took a bet with someone else that the candidate he had named the first time was going to lose. Once again it was thousand rupees. He was now assured that his money was safe, for he would be losing and wining!. The results of the Galle seat were announced in the early hours of the morning, and that evening my friend walked jauntily, into the club and collected his winnings from the senior member. As he was handed the money, all those present gathered round him, congratulating him and demanding drinks. He could not but oblige and at the end of the evening he was down almost a thousand rupees.
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Soon after the general election of 1970, Neale de Alwis, who had been MP for Baddegama and had been appointed a Junior Minister, found himself faced with a political problem which needed a political solution, a phrase very much in vogue these days. Some of his catchers, (in this case the boys of the LSSP Youth League of the area), wanted two school teachers transferred out of the electorate for working for Neale’s rival, the UNP candidate. Neale promised to look into the matter.
About a week later he dropped in at the office of the Principal of the school where the two teachers worked, and asked him about them. The Principal gave a glowing account of their work, and told the MP most emphatically that transferring them at this stage would do untold harm to the students who were preparing for the O/Level exams. “Sir,” said the Principal, “even if you replace these two teachers, I don’t think you could do so with teachers of this calibre. Neale de Alwis nodded, thanking the Principal and left.
A few days later his Youth Leaguers were at his doorstep again, complaining to the MP that the ‘errant’ teachers were still at the same school. Whereupon, in very unmistakable terms, Neale de Alwis told them that he was not prepared to sacrifice the future of dozens of innocent children for political expediency. “These two teachers are doing a fine job of work,” he snapped, “and if they are good workers I don’t care a bloody damn whether they are UNP or Federal Party!”
One day, as I was coming out of the Galle Kachcheri I saw Neale de Alwis coming down the stairs of his office. He was then the Political Authority for the Galle District too. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was confronted by a constituent who went into a long tale of woe about his son who was working far away from home, and was asking for a transfer to a place closer home. After listening to the old man, Neale told him that he had got his son employment with the greatest difficulty, and that it was most unreasonable for him to ask for a transfer to his home station so soon. “Manussayo,” said Neale, “if our young men are not prepared to leave their villages to go and work, this country will never progress.” The chastened voter went away muttering under his breath.
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It was just after the Kesbewa by-election, held after the death of the sitting member, the poet of the revolution, Somaweera Chandrasiri. The UNP did not expect to win it. But thanks to a three cornered contest, they did. ‘Subsequently, in Parliament SLFP leader Sirimavo Bandaranaike, by adding the figures polled by the SLFP candidate and the independent candidate (also an anti UNPer), attempted to prove that the ‘progressive’ forces had actually won the by election. While the UNP, going by the figures she had given, had lost it.
When she sat down after her weighty treatise, UNP Chief Dudley Senanayake rose and his eyes twinkling said gravely, “Madam? wish you many more victories of that nature.”
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In the last State Council whose period should have been over in 1941, but was extended up to 1947 because a general election couldn’t be held while a world war was going on, there was a very controversial, but colourful politico. One day, Sir D.B. Jayathilaka the Leader of the House, who was on holiday in England, bumped into this politico in a London Street.
“Hullo,” said Sir D.B. in surprise, “What are you doing here?” “Sir. I came for medical treatment,” said the young man “Why, what’s wrong with you?” asked Sir DB much concerned. “My doctor says something is wrong inside my head,” the other replied.
“I say, you didn’t have to come all the way to London to find that out,” said Sir DB, roaring, with laughter. “We could have told you that back home! After all you are the man who moved two motions in the State Council, one calling for a ban on dowries, and the other calling for the establishment of licensed brothels in Ceylon!” At this sally, the younger politico joined in the laughter.
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An apparently eccentric politico had done all his canvassing in his large electorate on foot and when he filed his election return, it was discovered that his election expenses came to the princely sum of 13. He was Dr. A.P. de Zoysa MSC Colombo South.