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Confessions of a global gypsy

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Providing hospitality to Prince Philip  

by Dr. Chandana

(Chandi) Jayawardena DPhil

President – Chandi J. Associates Inc.

Consulting, Canada Founder & Administrator – Global Hospitality Forum

Today, instead of chronologically narrating another episode of the story of my career, I will write about a customer I met and provided hospitality services twice, in the UK in 1984 and in Jamaica in 1998. Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg was born nearly 100 years ago (on 10 June 1921) in Greece into Greek and Danish royal families. He had a non-English, but a rich continental European mix – German, Greek, Danish, Hungarian, French, Swiss, Bohemian, Lithuanian, Russian, Swedish, Belgian, and Dutch. His family was exiled from Greece when he was an infant. After being educated in France, Germany and the United Kingdom (UK), he joined the British Royal Navy as an officer in 1939. He became a British subject in 1947, changed his family name to Mountbatten and married Princess Elizabeth, who became the Queen of the United Kingdom in 1952. Having made a British Prince in 1957, and over the years many other titles and honours were bestowed to him, but I will refer to him as Prince Philip, who was unique in that he was the longest-lived male member ever in the British royal family.

 

Two VIP visitors from UK

 

From 1995 to 1998 I was the General Manager of the largest hotel in the capital city of Jamaica – Kingston. Le Meridien Jamaica Pegasus Hotel (Pegasus) was operated by the largest British hotel company at that time – Forte PLC, and I represented that company in Jamaica. Along with two sister hotels – Guyana Pegasus Hotel and Pegasus Reef Hotel in Sri Lanka, Jamaica Pegasus was planned and developed in late 1960s and early 1970s by British Overseas Airways Corporation or BOAC (now British Airways) and Trust House Forte (later Forte PLC). Because of the hotel’s British connections, we had a large percentage of British travellers coming to Kingston staying at the Pegasus. Thirty rooms of the Pegasus were booked on back-to-back basis for the crews of British Airways over many years. The English cricket team stayed at the Pegasus, during all their matches played in Jamaica.

The British High Commissioner in Jamaica at that time had become a friend of mine. One day in early 1998, while attending a private party at my apartment at the Pegasus with his wife, the High Commissioner gave me heads up about two separate visits by two VIPs from the UK – Former (1990-1997) Prime Minister John Major (now Sir John) and Prince Philip. I lived in the UK when John Major became the surprise successor of Margret Thatcher in 1990, after the famous cabinet revolt. I was glued to the TV every evening in my London home, wondering how a person with such humble beginnings became the most powerful person in the UK. I became an admirer of John Major, and was excited about the opportunity to meet and greet him. On the other hand, having read and heard about Prince Philip’s greatest legacy (apart from his marathon marriage to Elizabeth II) – a lifetime of controversial, cringeworthy and sometimes outright appalling comments or insensitive jokes, I was not an admirer of Prince Philip. However, I was happy that he would be staying at the Pegasus for two days.

 

Arrival in Jamaica

 

Prince Philip arrived at the Pegasus in the evening of 23rd March 1998. He was accompanied by the British High Commissioner and a male travelling companion, who had a variety of roles such as Secretary, Butler and Valet. Given his reputation, my expectations were not high. However, I was pleasantly surprised about the jovial mood and politeness of Prince Philip that evening. He looked fit and athletic, and did not look 76, which was his age at that time. For someone who just arrived in the Caribbean after a cross-Atlantic flight, he appeared to be fresh. His suite and the adjoining room for his Secretary were on the 15th floor furthest from the elevators. While walking towards his suite he told me jokingly, “Hotels forget that I am an old man when they always allocate me a suite which requires the longest walk from the lift.” When I apologised, he said: “That is alright, I need the exercise.”

 

Chat about the past

 

The next day, during his breakfast at the suite, I met Prince Philip again. I checked how his first night at the Pegasus was, and he was happy with all arrangements. He looked well rested. We chatted briefly about the weather and his previous visits to Jamaica, as well as about his stay with Queen Elizabeth at Guyana Pegasus Hotel a few years ago and visits to Sri Lanka. Then I walked with him, on his way out to a meeting scheduled at the British High Commission. While walking he surprised me by asking: “have we met before?” Assuming that this is his dry sense of humour he is famous for, I replied, “Yes, Your Royal Highness, we met last evening.” He laughed and said, “No, no, I mean before, years ago. I remember your face and your afro hair style.” I then said, “I served you once at the Dorchester Hotel, but that was 14 years ago, when I was a Banquet Waiter, I cannot imagine you remembering all Waiters who served you at numerous royal banquets, Sir.” Prince Philip looked straight at my eyes for a few seconds and said, “I think that I remember you from the Dorchester.”

A royal banquet at the Dorchester, London in 1984

When I was a graduate student at the University of Surrey, UK in 1983 and 1984, to make sufficient money to pay the rent, I worked at the Dorchester in Park Lane, London, as a part-time Banquet Waiter. Although it was the best hotel in the UK at that time, most Waiters who served in banquets were part-time employees. Traditionally most royal banquets in London were held at the Buckingham Palace or at a historic hotel with long-standing connections with royalty that have led to it sometimes being referred to as an annexe to the Buckingham Palace – The Claridge’s in Mayfair, London. In early 1984, after many efforts by the top management team, the Dorchester secured a prestigious booking for the first royal banquet ever to be held at the Dorchester, since its opening in 1931.

As this banquet would enhance the image of the Dorchester, the management decided to re-train the full banquet service team of full-time and part-time employees. It was a two week fully-paid special training. We were told by the Banquet Manager that the five waiters who perform the best in the practical test and the exam at the end of the special training session, will be given the opportunity of serving the 27 VIPs who would sit at the head table. These VIPs included the Queen and Prince Philip, King of Bahrain, The Lord Chancellor of the UK and the Prime Minister of the UK (Margret Thatcher). Thanks to my practical training I received by German and Swiss food and beverage service experts at the Ceylon Hotel School in the early 1970s, I managed to do well at this training session and become one of the best five waiters. I was chosen to serve the Queen and Prince Philip and the King of Bahrain at the royal banquet held on 12th April 1984. I was one of the two non-white waiters among a service brigade of 50 who worked at that royal banquet. Perhaps that may be a reason for Prince Philip to remember me after 14 long years.

A fundraiser private dinner in Kingston in 1998

In 1998, the Chairman of the Pegasus Board and the individual shareholder with the largest percentage of shares, was Mr. John Issa. He was also the Chairman of his family-owned resort chain – SuperClubs. Mr. Issa’s family were the pioneers of tourism in Jamaica for a few generations. His wife, son and twin daughters were all well-qualified and held senior positions within the family business. I was very close to the Issa family. Towards the end of 1997, Mr. Issa had a chat with me and said that he and his family will need two suites at the Pegasus for six months, as their beautiful house in a posh area of Kingston will be fully renovated to host an important event. As their house was already well-appointed and well-maintained, to me it sounded strange, but I did not ask too many questions from the Chairman of the Board.

A few days before the visit of Prince Philip to Jamaica, the Issa family returned to their upgraded house. At that point Mr. Issa informed me that his family would be hosting Prince Philip for a private dinner in their house, the day after Prince Philip’s arrival. As it was a fundraiser event the invitees for the dinner were rich and famous Jamaicans. Mr. Issa disliked wearing the tie and jacket and therefore, the dress code was informal. A six-course menu with matching wines were planned. Pegasus was asked to look after some of the logistics, while SuperClubs looked after catering.

 

The event was a success in terms of quality, satisfaction and fundraising. It was like musical chairs, when those invitees who sat next to and in front of Prince Philip, were rotated from course to course. After the event was over, jokingly I asked Mr. Issa: “Would there be an opportunity for me to address you as SIR JOHN in the near future?” He laughed and said: “Chandi, I need to do much more than one fundraiser to earn a title such as that”. I think that I read Mr. Issa’s mind, correctly.

 

Goodbye

 

The next morning, I handled Prince Philip’s departure from Pegasus. When he saw me at his suite, he asked, “You, again?” By then I have gotten used to his dry sense of humour. I think that he joked often with an intention to put people at ease, but at times was misunderstood as being sarcastic. After a firm hand shake and exchange of smiles, I said goodbye and bon voyage to Prince Philip.

Years later when I watched four seasons of the award-winning Netflix series ‘The Crown’ with my wife, I realized how complex and at times, difficult it was for him to play a supportive ceremonial role for 69 years from the time his wife became the Queen of the UK and the Commonwealth in 1952. He was fully dedicated to the institution and had a deep sense of duty, perhaps stemmed from his naval officer training and distinguished military career. He was a reliable husband for 73 long years.

Prince Philip served as a patron, president, or member of over 780 organisations, and his key legacy will be his work as the Chairman of the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award, a self-improvement program for young people aged 14 to 24 founded by Prince Philip in the UK in 1956 and expanded to 144 nations, over the decades. He was a good man. “Goodnight Sweet Prince!”

chandij@sympatico.ca



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Rediscovery of Strobilanthes pentandra after 48 years

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Strobilanthes pentandra, one of Sri Lanka’s most elusive endemic flowering plants

A Flower Returns From Silence:

Nearly half a century after it slipped into botanical silence, a ghost flower of Sri Lanka’s misty highlands has returned—quietly, improbably, and beautifully—from the folds of the Knuckles mountain range.

In a discovery that blends patience, intuition and sheer field grit, Strobilanthes pentandra, one of Sri Lanka’s most elusive endemic flowering plants, has been rediscovered after 48 years with no confirmed records of its existence in the wild. For decades, it lived only as a name, a drawing, and a herbarium sheet. Until now.

This rare nelu species was first introduced to science in 1995 by renowned botanist J. R. I. Wood, based solely on a specimen collected in 1978 by Kostermans from the Lebnon Estate area. Remarkably, Wood himself had never seen the plant alive. The scientific illustration that accompanied its description was drawn entirely from dried herbarium material—an act of scholarly faith in a plant already vanishing from memory.

Renuka

From then on, Strobilanthes pentandra faded into obscurity. For 47 long years, there were no sightings, no photographs, no field notes. By the time Sri Lanka’s 2020 National Red List was compiled, the species had been classified as Critically Endangered, feared by many to be lost, if not extinct.

The turning point came not from a planned expedition, but from curiosity.

In October 2025, Induwara Sachinthana, a fourth-year medical student at the University of Peradeniya with a sharp eye for plants, stumbled upon an unfamiliar flowering shrub while trekking in the Knuckles region.

Sensing its importance, he photographed the plant and sent the images for verification, asking a simple but crucial question: Could this be the recently described Strobilanthes sripadensis, discovered from the Sri Pada sanctuary in 2022?

At first glance, the resemblance was striking. But something didn’t quite add up.

Based on the location, morphology, and subtle floral traits, the initial response was cautious: it was neither S. sripadensis nor S. pentandra—or perhaps something entirely new. Yet, as the pieces slowly aligned, and as the habitat details became clearer, the possibility grew stronger: this long-lost species had quietly persisted in the rugged heart of Knuckles.

Strobilanthes pentandra

The confirmation followed through collaborative expertise. Leading Strobilanthes specialist Dr. Renuka Nilanthi Rajapakse, together with Dr. Himesh Dilruwan Jayasinghe and other researchers, carefully examined the evidence. After detailed comparison with historical descriptions and herbarium material, the verdict was clear and electrifying: this was indeed Strobilanthes pentandra.

What followed was not easy.

A challenging hike through unforgiving terrain led to the first live confirmation of the species in nearly five decades. Fresh specimens were documented and collected, breathing life into what had long been a botanical myth.

Adding further weight to the rediscovery, naturalist Aruna Wijenayaka and others subsequently recorded the same species from several additional locations within the Knuckles landscape.

The full scientific credit for this rediscovery rightfully belongs to Induwara Sachinthana, whose curiosity set the chain in motion, and to the dedicated field teams that followed through with persistence and precision.

Interestingly, the journey also resolved an important taxonomic question. Strobilanthes pentandra bears a strong resemblance to Strobilanthes sripadensis, raising early doubts about whether the Sri Pada species might have been misidentified.

Detailed analysis now confirms they are distinct species, each possessing unique diagnostic characters that separate them from each other—and from all other known nelu species in Sri Lanka. That said, as with all living systems, future taxonomic revisions remain possible. Nature, after all, is never finished telling her story.

Although the research paper is yet to be formally published, the team decided to share the news sooner than planned. With many hikers and locals already encountering the plant in Knuckles, its existence was no longer a secret. Transparency, in this case, serves conservation better than silence.

This rediscovery is more than a scientific milestone. It is a reminder of how much remains unseen in Sri Lanka’s biodiversity hotspots—and how easily such treasures can vanish without notice. It also highlights the power of collaboration across generations, disciplines and institutions.

Researchers thanked the Department of Wildlife Conservation and the Forest Department for granting research permissions, and to the many individuals who supported fieldwork in visible and invisible ways.

After 48 years in the shadows, Strobilanthes pentandra has stepped back into the light—fragile, rare, and reminding us that extinction is not always the final chapter.

Sometimes, nature waits.

By Ifham Nizam ✍️

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Desire to connection. understanding sexual health in modern relationships

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Desire to connection. understanding sexual health in modern relationships

A conversation about intimacy, belonging and relationships with Dr Yasuni Manikkage

In an age where relationships are shaped as much by emotional awareness as by digital connection, conversations about sexual health are finally stepping out of the shadows.

As Dr. Yasuni Manikkage explains, sexual health is not just a medical issue but a lived experience woven through communication, consent, mental wellbeing and self-respect. Many couples share a home, a bed, even children, yet still feel like “Roommates with responsibilities” rather than lovers, which often signal a lack of emotional safety rather than a lack of physical contact. When desire shifts, they may panic, blame themselves or fear the relationship is dying, instead of recognising that changes in desire are common, understandable, and often transformable with knowledge, honest dialogue, and small daily acts of connection.

Q: Why did you decide to talk about sexual desire and connection now?

A: Because so many couples quietly suffer here. They love each other, share a home, raise children, but feel like “roommates with responsibilities” rather than lovers. They rarely talk about sex openly, so when desire changes, they panic, blame themselves, or assume the relationship is dying. I want people to know shifts in desire are common, understandable, and often treatable with knowledge, communication, and small daily changes.

Q: You say there is an “education gap” in sexual health. What do you mean by that?

A: Most women have never been properly taught about their own sexual anatomy, especially where and how they feel pleasure. Many men, on the other hand, have been left to “figure it out” from pornography, jokes, and guesswork. That’s a terrible training manual for real bodies and real emotions. This gap affects how easily women reach orgasm, how safe they feel in bed, and how satisfied both partners feel in the relationship.

Q: We hear about the “orgasm gap.” Is it really not biological?

A: There are biological factors, yes, but the main gap we see between men’s and women’s orgasm rates in heterosexual relationships comes from communication, knowledge, and what I call “pleasure equity.” In many bedrooms, the script is focused on penetration, speed, and the man’s climax. Women’s pleasure is often treated as optional or “extra.” When couples learn anatomy, slow down, focus on both bodies, and talk about what feels good, that gap narrows dramatically.

Q: Most people think desire should be spontaneous. Is that a myth?

A: It’s one of the biggest myths. Movies show desire as a spark that appears out of nowhere: one glance across the room and suddenly you’re tearing each other’s clothes off. That kind of spontaneous desire does happen, especially early in a relationship. But for many people, especially women, desire is often “responsive”. That means they start feeling desire after some warmth, touch, emotional closeness, or stimulation, not before.

So, if you’re waiting to “feel like it” before you touch or connect, you may wait a very long time. For many, desire comes “after” they start, not before.

Q: How would you scientifically describe sexual desire?

A: Desire is not just a physical urge. It’s a blend of attraction to your partner’s body and personality, emotional connection and feeling cared for, a sense of self-expansion or growth, learning, feeling alive with them, trust and safety, both emotionally and physically. It’s contextual: it changes with stress, health, life stages, and relationship quality. It’s relational: it lives between two nervous systems, not just in one body. And for many, it’s responsive: you get in the mood “after” a hug, a joke, a shower together, not randomly at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday.

Q: You mentioned an “updated sexual response cycle.” What does that look like in real life?

A: Older models suggested a straight line: desire, arousal, orgasm and resolution. That’s tidy, but human beings are messy and complex. Modern understanding is more like a circle or loop. You can enter the cycle at different points: maybe you start with touch, or a feeling of closeness, or even just a decision to connect. Desire doesn’t always come first; sometimes it shows up halfway through.

For example, you may feel tired and not “in the mood,” but you agree to cuddle and share some gentle touch. As you relax and feel appreciated, arousal builds, and then desire appears. That’s normal, not fake.

Q: Are there real gender differences in how desire works?

A: There are common patterns, though individuals vary a lot. Many women tend to enter through emotional intimacy: feeling heard, understood, and safe. Physical touch then wakes up arousal, and desire follows.

Many men more often start with physical attraction or arousal. They may feel desire quickly in response to visual or physical cues, and emotional intimacy can deepen later.

Both patterns are healthy and normal. The problem starts when each partner assumes the other should work exactly like them, and if they don’t, they must be “cold” “needy” or “broken.” Understanding these differences turns conflict into curiosity.

Q: How does desire change as a relationship ages?

A: Think of three broad stages.

stage 1 – Early Attraction (0-6 months): High novelty, strong chemistry, lots of dopamine. You’re discovering each other; desire often feels effortless. stage 2 – Deepening Intimacy (6 months-2 years): You know each other better. The high settles. Desire becomes more linked to emotional closeness. Frequency may drop, and that is “normal”.

stage 3 – Maintenance and Maturity (2-10+ years): Life arrives -work, kids, money, health. Desire usually doesn’t feel automatic. It needs conscious attention, novelty, and emotional safety.

A common mistake is comparing stage 3 desire to Stage 1 and assuming, “we’ve failed.” Actually, you’ve just moved into a different phase that requires new skills.

Q: What are some main things that influence desire?

A:We can think in three layers.

Biological: hormones (testosterone, estrogen), brain chemicals (dopamine, serotonin), medical conditions like diabetes, heart disease, cancer, chronic pain, sleep problems, menopause, and genital issues such as vaginal dryness or pelvic floor pain.

Psychological: negative early sexual experiences, trauma or abuse, body image concerns, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and certain mental health conditions.

Relational and social: how safe and respected you feel, attachment style, quality of communication, power imbalances, work and financial stress, caregiving burdens, privacy, and cultural messages that centre on penetration over pleasure. Desire is never “just in your head” or “just in your hormones” – it’s all three interacting.

Q: What tends to kill desire in long-term relationships?

A: Several patterns show up again and again:

Resentment and unresolved conflict – small hurts that never get repaired.

Lack of emotional safety – fear of being judged, rejected, or punished for being vulnerable.

Poor communication – avoiding difficult topics, sarcasm instead of honesty.

Body image shame – feeling unattractive, “too old,” “too fat,” or “not enough.”

Power imbalance -one partner controlling decisions, money, or sex.

Sexual guilt or religious shame messages that sex is dirty, selfish, or only for reproduction.

Stress, burnout, depression -when your nervous system is in survival mode, it doesn’t prioritise pleasure.

You can’t expect desire to flourish in an environment that feels unsafe, unfair, or constantly tense.

Q: And what actually builds desire?

A: Desire thrives in a combination of safety and aliveness.

Emotional intimacy: feeling seen, heard, and valued.

Nervous system calm: your body is relaxed enough to feel pleasure, not just guard against danger.

Open communication: you can talk about wants, limits, and fantasies without mocking or shutting each other down.

Continued growth: doing new things together, seeing new sides of each other, evolving as a team.

I often say: stagnation is desire’s enemy; growth is its ally. Even small adventures -trying a new cafe, dancing in the living room, travelling a different route-can reawaken curiosity.

Q: Can you give couples a simple framework to reconnect?

A: Yes, I often share a six-step framework that’s practical and gentle.

1. Check in: Ask, “How connected do we feel lately?” Not just “How often are we having sex?”

2. Non-sexual touch: Hugs, stroking hair, holding hands – without expecting sex at the end.

3. Novelty: Try something new together: a class, a walk in a different place, a game, a shared hobby.

4. Appreciation: Tell your partner what you notice and value about them, including non-sexual qualities.

5. vulnerability: Share one fear, one hope, or one truth you usually hide.

6. Initiation: Don’t wait for desire to fall from the sky. Gently invite connection; sometimes the mood follows the movement.

You don’t need to do all of this perfectly. Even one or two steps, done consistently, can shift the energy between you.

Q: How can someone tell if their desire problem needs more attention or professional help?

A: some warning signs include:

You feel emotionally distant, even though you still love each other.

Desire has dropped sharply and is tied to stress, shame, or unspoken conflict.

You feel unable to talk about sex without fighting or shutting down.

sex is used to avoid real intimacy, or to keep the peace, rather than to connect.

You feel afraid or ashamed to say what you truly want-or what you don’t want. In these situations, talking to a doctor, a sexual medicine specialist, or a therapist can be very helpful. You are not “broken” for needing support.

Q: Many couples say, “We love each other but there’s no spark.” What do you tell them?

A: I often say, “Let’s first normalise where you are.” If you’ve been together for years, maybe raising children and navigating financial pressures, it’s normal that your desire doesn’t look like the early days. That doesn’t mean your relationship is dying.

usually, you’re in the maintenance phase. Desire is quieter but can be reawakened with intentional effort: scheduling time for each other, bringing in novelty, and rebuilding emotional safety. It’s less about chasing fireworks and more about tending a fire so it doesn’t go out.

Q: what about couples with mismatched desires – one wants sex often, the other rarely?

A: This is extremely common. The mistake is to frame it as “the pursuer is demanding” and “the less-desiring partner is rejecting.” underneath, there are often two different nervous systems trying to feel safe.

one partner might use physical closeness to feel secure and loved. The other might need emotional safety first before their body can relax into physical intimacy. When couples understand this, they stop seeing each other as enemies and start cooperating: “How can we meet ‘both’ our needs, instead of arguing about who is right?”

Q: Many people, especially women, say sex feels like an obligation. What does that signal to you as a doctor?

A: It’s a red flag – not that the person is broken, but that something important is missing. sex should be about connection, pleasure, and mutual choice. when it becomes a duty, I look for:

Emotional disconnection or resentment.

Fear of conflict or abandonment if they say no.

Lack of felt safety or freedom to express preferences.

The solution is not to “force yourself more.” It is to rebuild emotional safety, renegotiate consent and expectations, and often to have very honest conversations about what feels missing or painful.

Q: If you could leave couples with a few key messages about desire and connection, what would they be?

A: I’d highlight four truths:

Desire and emotional intimacy are deeply connected. When you feel safe, loved, and seen, desire has space to grow.

Desire changes across life and relationship stages. That’s normal, not evidence of failure.

Safety is the foundation. without trust and a calm nervous system, no technique or position will fix desire.

You have agency. Through communication, intentional connection, and sometimes professional help, it is possible to revive and reshape your sexual relationship. If you are reading this and thinking, “This sounds like us,” my invitation is simple: start with one honest conversation. Ask your partner, “Where do you naturally enter the cycle -through emotions, touch, or arousal? What helps you feel desire? What do you need from me to feel safe and wanted?”

Those questions, asked with kindness and curiosity, can quietly change the entire trajectory of a relationship.

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Ramazan spirit comes alive at ‘Marhaba’

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The committee driving excellence

At Muslim Ladies College

The spirit of Ramadan came alive at the Muslim Ladies as the much-awaited pre-Ramadan sale “Marabha” organised by MLC PPA unfolded at SLEC the event drew students, parents and old girls to a colourful celebration filled with the aromas of traditional delicacies and the buzz of excitement from the buzzling stalls

Behind the seamless flow and refined presentation were Feroza Muzzamil and Zamani Nazeem. Whose dedication and eye for detail elevated the entire occasion. Their work reflected not only efficiency but a deep understanding of the institution’s values. It was an event, reflected teamwork, vision and a shared commitment to doing things so beautifully. The shoppers were treated to an exquisite selection of Abayas, hijabs and modern fashion essentials, carefully curated to blend contemporary trends with classic elegance. Each stall offered unique piece from intricately embroidered dresses to chic modern designs. The event also highlighted local entrepreneurs a chance to support homegrown talent. Traditional Ramazan goods and refreshment added a delighted touch, making it as much a cultural celebration as a shopping experience.

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