Features

Uncertainty of life: Remembering three ‘Nangis

Published

5 years ago

2021/06/25

By Dr Upul Wijayawardhana

Some of us are fortunate enough to advance in years with all faculties intact and in reasonably good health, albeit with the help of medication. However, it comes at a price due to the ever-continuing process of losing friends and relations. As the Buddha pointed out, separation from the pleasant or the beloved is suffering (“Piyehi Vippayogo Dukko). The suffering becomes even worse when you lose younger relatives; worse still when it is sudden and dramatic. Having lost three Nangis–– two younger sisters and a sister-in-law––during the past five years, the only thing I can do to ease my sorrow is to pay a tribute to them by reflecting on their well-lived lives.

I remember the phone call received from Sri Lanka, in the early hours of 23 March. Kusum Wijetilleke told me that he had just been informed that his mother died suddenly of a heart attack. My wife’s sister, Dhammika, had been in an intensive care unit of a private hospital in Colombo with Covid pneumonia. In all likelihood, she acquired Covid after she had a minor surgical procedure, unfortunately. We never expected her to die as she was improving and did not need any ventilation. We could not attend her funeral as she was cremated the following day as per Covid protocol, but were hopeful we would be able to attend the three months’ Dane but the raging epidemic has prevented that too, distressingly.

I came to know Dhammika in December 1958, when I visited their house in Kirulapone. She was a charming, playful schoolgirl then but matured to be a stoic matriarch, being the prop behind the immense success of her husband, Rienzie Wijetileke. Soon after her marriage to Rienzie, they sailed to the UK for Rienzie to work in the London Branch of Bank of Ceylon and further his banking studies. When I arrived in the UK for postgraduate studies in September 1969, they were at Heathrow airport to receive me and, more importantly, they accommodated me for months in their tiny bedsit in London. With hindsight I wonder what an imposition I would have been, as they had tiny Harsha, their first-born too. They left the UK a few weeks after the birth of their second son, Chamira.

Dhammika, I consider to be my seventh sister. I shall quote from a tribute written by our daughter, Mihirinie as I cannot better the description of her beloved Punchi Amma:

“Dhammika laughed easily – an infectious, high-pitched giggle, which occasionally morphed into a delightful howl, that would ring out through the house and spread joy in abundance, and she was slow to anger – although she was no pushover and it was a wise person who refrained from incurring her wrath! She told outrageously funny stories that made everybody laugh (to question the veracity of these tales would have been to ruin her expertly-crafted yarns) and she was incredibly quick-witted, coming up with brilliant retorts and zinging one-liners that left listeners both in stitches and in amazement how agile her mind was. She was fun-loving and happy-go-lucky, and nothing really seemed to faze her. She rarely cried.

“Her home was always open and welcoming to anyone who wished to enter. If someone visited at a mealtime, they were immediately invited to stay, with extra food being rustled up if required. She was extremely hospitable, as well as being kind and generous to a fault. She never advertised her good deeds, although there were plenty of them to mention: from supporting her family and friends, to helping those who worked for her, to even sending money to complete strangers who were in need. Her actions made it clear how she felt about not only the people in her life, but also human beings in general. She never went on or came back from an overseas trip empty-handed: presents were procured for everyone”

My Loku Nangi, Swarna, died five years ago. In a way, her death was a relief as she had been in a persistent vegetative state for about a year following the rupture of an aneurysm in the brain. Though she lacked academic achievements, her life was one of sacrifice: devoted to others, looking after our ageing parents and looking after the three children of the fifth sister in our family. Mali would not have been able to specialise in Eye diseases and work full-time if not for Swarna’s support. Mali was able to reciprocate by tending to her needs during the terminal illness, keeping her in her house under supervision. Whenever I visited Swarna and said ‘Loku Nangi’, I could see a tear-drop in her eyes though she was not conscious.

They say truth is stranger than fiction and the death of Sunethra, fourth sister in our family well illustrates this. It was November 2019 and we all were at the Hilton Colombo celebrating the wedding of Madara, the daughter of my youngest (sixth) sister Champa. Madara studied in Japan and fell in love with Pulasthi, who studied with her. They flew from Japan to get married and fly back to their jobs in Tokyo. I had a chat with Sunethra, who was living in Kandy with her husband Cyril, the previous evening when she told me she would not be attending the wedding though Cyril would and was looking forward to meeting me at the home-coming, which was in Kandy.

The couple had just got down from the Poruwa and everyone was in a jubilant mood. As I came out of the Hall, to escape the noise, I noticed my brother Jagath in a pensive mood, near the door. When I asked him, ‘What’s wrong?’, he said Sunethra had died. I was perplexed as his wife was also Sunethra and I had seen her a few minutes before. It soon became clear he was referring to our sister because he then told me Cyril and one of their three sons, who were at the reception, were on the way back, having been informed that Sunethra had been admitted to hospital.

In conversation with the other brother Ranjan, who joined us shortly, we decided not to let anyone know of this tragic news. Whilst others dined, wined and danced, the three of us had to suffer in silence pretending that nothing had happened. Though the few hours spent till the end of the ceremony were probably the worst hours of my life, I am very glad we did not spoil the fun of the young couple who had flown thousands of miles to get married in the company of their relations.

Sunethra had a few medical problems but I had no cause for concern as she was under the excellent care of one of my trainees in Grantham Hospital, Dr Kumudini Jayasingha. She had felt faintish suddenly and an ambulance had been called but was found to be dead on arrival at the hospital. Later, it transpired that this occurred almost at the time the couple were getting on to the Poruwa. Sunethra has indicated that her body should be donated to the Peradeniya Medical Faculty and the only time they could accept the body was the time of the home-coming! Whilst one half of the family was handing over the body of Sunethra to the medical faculty, the others including me attended the home-coming. Pulasthi’s parents were initially disappointed when they saw a small crowd coming with the couple but were very understanding when I explained the circumstances to them, privately. We told the couple only when we were about to leave when Madara told me how she had visited her Loku Amma, on arrival, and had a long chat embracing each other. That is the uncertainty of life. Truth, indeed, is stranger than fiction.

Fortunately, this trauma has not adversely affected Madara and Pulasthi who are doing very well in Tokyo.

May Swarna, Sunethra and Dhammika attain Nibbana!

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Features

The hard challenge of clinching a political settlement in the Middle East

Published

15 hours ago

2026/07/23

Sahan Weerasooriya

Bruised hearts: Displaced Palestinian civilians in the Gaza.(Photo by Mustafa Hassona/Anadolu via Getty Images)

Despite some sections of the Trump administration persisting with the view that the possibility could not be entirely ruled out of there being a diplomatic solution to the current US-Iran hostilities in West Asia, the skeptic could not be blamed for thinking otherwise. The intensity, scale and frequency of the tit-for-tat strikes by the antagonists over the past few days against selected military targets and civilian infrastructure in particular in West Asia make the adoption of this stance excusable.

The continuing hostilities render the mentioning of the MOU signed between the warring parties in mid-June a laughable matter. While it could very well be that the foes are wishing privately for a cessation of hostilities before long, what seems to be uppermost on their minds right now is to negotiate with each other from a position of strength. This strategy compels them to incapacitate each other militarily to the extent possible, lest they have to concede too much to each other during negotiations. Hence the stepped-up hostilities.

However, even on the question of there being a negotiated political settlement in the West Asian theatre in the longer term, the skeptic could come to be seen as scoring over the optimist. Developments on the ground account for this.

At the time of writing Israel’s Netanyahu government is going ahead in fairly care-free fashion with the establishment of more Jewish settlements in the Gaza and the West Bank, and it’s all happening under the apparently complacent gaze of the US. In fact, some quarters estimate that Israel is in control of some 65% of the Gaza Strip. Ethnic cleansing, that is, is being drastically stepped-up.

Accordingly, in terms of the power relations of West Asia, the world is almost back to the status quo of the late forties of the last century when the state of Israel was established and the Palestinians were reduced to a microscopic minority in the land they came to inhabit. Therefore, even the impartial observer would be compelled to ask: ‘Will a negotiated peace be ever possible in the Middle East?’

The humanist in the observer would prefer to answer this question in the affirmative and it is indeed the ideal stance to adopt considering the staggering human and material costs of the conflict. But the way ahead to peace could be expected to be highly hazardous and arduous. Among other odds, it would also prove an uphill endeavour to win minds and hearts.

The US’ Trump administration would need to be counted out in this pursuit. This is on account of the fact that it has been far too wayward in its management of West Asian affairs in particular over the past couple of years. Given its unpredictable character it is a matter for conjecture whether it could be counted on to live up to its commitments.

Moreover, Israel could be expected to ‘go it alone’ in the Middle East regardless of whether US help is coming or otherwise. It has indicated as much in recent times and Israel could be doubted on this score only at the doubter’s peril. Because time and again Israel has demonstrated that it could steadfastly defend its interests even single-handedly in the Middle East. History bears this out.

However, a durable alliance with the US would stand Israel in good stead. On the matter of military and intelligence assistance, for example, the US’s help proved invaluable for Israel in the past and going forward this is bound to be so as well. Moreover, it is unlikely that the Trump administration would give up on Israel, considering that a strong Israel is crucial for the furtherance of the US’ strategic and economic interests in West Asia.

But whether the above factors would have a considerable bearing on the question of working out a durable solution to the West Asian tangle is an entirely different matter. Israel, as in the case of the Palestinian enclaves, is acutely security conscious and would need to satisfy itself fully that it could live in a security environment that would guarantee its complete safety, going forward.

The Middle East is badly in need of another peace effort on the lines of the Oslo Accords of the mid-nineties that brought the key actors together and helped hammer out a solution that addressed some of their notable concerns. To be sure, that process did not prove to be the ideal answer to the tangle, but it yielded some respite to the region and drove home that one-time sworn foes could indeed negotiate with a degree of success. The West Bank authority, although falling short of fulfilling some key Palestinian aspirations, is testimony that a degree of success is possible if the intent is right.

Given the current realities of West Asia, peace-making is bound to be an uphill challenge. The violence faced in recent times by the Palestinian community, in particular, has been nothing less than mind-numbing. Merciless has been the violence visited on them by the Israeli side. In such circumstances, durable peace in the region could smack of an idealist’s dream.

Nevertheless, there needs to be urgently, a meeting of minds over the divides. The US would need to be counted out as an honest broker in bringing the sides together but the rest of the West would do well to step up to the challenge.

In this exercise the onus would be on the world’s democracies to take the initiative and doggedly stay the course. An acceptable combination would be the EU and the UN. Given their credentials, the main sides in West Asia ought to find them the least controversial.

Even if the relevant institutional and political arrangements could be shored up to take a reconciliation process forward, winning hearts and minds for the peace drive would prove a grueling challenge. Over the past few years in particular tens of thousands of hearts and minds on both sides of the divide have been bruised badly in the runaway murderous violence that has come to define the Middle East.

These badly scarred personalities would need to experience healing without much delay. It is therefore a multi-faceted challenge that is at hand. Since wide-ranging expertise would be needed in the healing process, people’s participation in peace-making, ranging over the divides, would need to be made a durable reality. It will be a time for enthroning humanity and ensuring the rejection of all forms of violence and coercion.

Features

Amazing Thailand …right here in Colombo

Published

15 hours ago

2026/07/23

Sahan Weerasooriya

For many Sri Lankans, Thailand is the go-to holiday — beaches, temples, food, and that famous warm hospitality.

In fact, I’ve been to Amazing Thailand 24 times myself, and was honoured with the Friends of Thailand International Media Award by the Tourism Authority of Thailand for promoting Thai tourism.

The good news I have for you today is that you don’t even need a passport to get a taste of Amazing Thailand.

The Royal Thai Embassy, in Colombo, is bringing a vibrant slice of Thailand, to the city of Colombo, with Thai Festival 2026 — a cultural experience like never before.

Whether you are an avid enthusiast of Thai culture, a total novice, or simply just interested in exploring foreign cultures, Thai Festival 2026 is going to be the perfect opportunity for you to get more than just a glimpse into one of the most celebrated cultural heritages in South East Asia. And ENTRANCE IS FREE.

The festival will be held on the 1st and 2nd of August, 2026, at Siam Nivasa, 43, C.W.W. Kannangara Mawatha, Colombo 7, and the East Parking Area, of the Colombo Municipal Council, from 11:00am to 5:00pm.

Both days will be full of live entertainment, and dispersed throughout with Thai cultural displays, including exhilarating traditional dance performances and breathtaking Muay Thai demonstrations.

Exploring art and craft specific to Thailand, tasting irresistible authentic Thai cuisine, and playing arcade games, are just a few more fun-filled events available for visitors at the festival premises.

An array of Thai products will also be available for purchase.

While at the festival, you will find Sri Lankan Alumni from Thai universities sharing their experiences with you and willing to answer any questions you might have, related to studying abroad in Thailand.

You can also register for the Muay Thai workshop that will be happening on the 7th and 8th of August, 2026, in Colombo.

Irresistible authentic Thai cuisine

Visitors can also stand a chance to win traditional Thai souvenirs, get exclusive photo opportunities, and, the big one — to enter the raffle draw, at the end of each day, for the grand prize of an all-inclusive round trip to Thailand.

Be sure to avail yourself of this exceptional opportunity and add a cultural spin to your weekend.

To keep up with the latest updates on Thai Festival 2026, head over to the Thai Festival official social media pages.

The Royal Thai Embassy in Colombo official webpage:

https://colombo.thaiembassy.org

Official social media:

Facebook: @RTEColombo

Instagram: @thaiembassysrilanka

Thai Festival official social media:

Facebook: Thai Festival in Colombo

Instagram: @thaifestival_colombo

TikTok: @thaifestival.incolombo

Features

Thicker, stronger hair …

Published

15 hours ago

2026/07/23

Sahan Weerasooriya

Hair fall, in this heat, can be so frustrating, and noticing a thin patch is even more worrying. The good news is … yes, with a little care and kitchen ingredients, you can nourish your scalp and support healthy regrowth.

Try these four easy home remedies … even our grandmothers trusted:

* Coconut Oil and Curry Leaves Tonic:

Warm 04 tablespoons of coconut oil, with a handful of curry leaves, till the leaves turn black. Cool, strain, and massage into scalp 02-03 times a week. Leave for 01 hour, or overnight.

Why:

Coconut oil deeply nourishes, while curry leaves help strengthen roots and add shine.

* Onion Juice for Spot Treatment:

With cotton, dab the juice of 01 small onion, directly on the thin/bald patches. Leave for 20-30 minutes, and then wash with a mild shampoo. Use twice a week.

Why:

Rich in sulfur, onion juice helps boost blood circulation to the scalp.

* Aloe Vera and Castor Oil Mask:

Mix 02 tablespoons of fresh aloe vera gel and 01 tablespoon castor oil and apply to the scalp, focusing on thinning areas. Leave for 45 minutes, and then rinse with cool water.

Why:

Aloe vera soothes the scalp, while castor oil coats hair to make it look thicker.

* Fenugreek and Curd Strengthening Pack:

You will need 02 tablespoons fenugreek seeds, soaked overnight, and 02 tablespoons plain curd.

Grind to a paste, apply to scalp for 30 minutes, and then wash.

Why:

Fenugreek strengthens strands and reduces breakage.

Extra Tips for Healthy Hair:

Avoid tight hairstyles that pull on the scalp.

Eat iron and protein rich foods: greens, dhal, eggs, fish.

Use lukewarm water, not hot.

Be gentle when brushing and drying.