Features
MARRIAGE TO GERTRUDE WICKRAMASINGHE
CHAPTER 7
Gertrude’s brother-in-law and sister strongly opposed the marriage because I was only a clerk. But she was determined and said she would only marry me or remain a spinster.(N.U. Jayawardena, interview by Roshan Pieris, 1987)
Meeting at the Resthouse
While waiting in Tangalle for his letter of appointment to the clerical service, NU was introduced by an uncle to an important member of the Durava clan who had achieved government recognition – Gate Mudaliyar Norman Wickramasinghe of Gorakana, Moratuwa. He and his wife Caroline and daughter Gertrude Mildred (known as Gertie) planned to stop at the Tangalle Resthouse on their way to Kataragama. The main reason for this visit was to see if NU would be a suitable husband for Gertrude. Marriages during this period were arranged by relatives and elders and did not deviate in terms of caste. Norman and Caroline Wickramasinghe had, no doubt, been on the lookout for bachelors who were bright and with good prospects for advancement.
It was not unusual for young women with some wealth and status to marry educated men of the same caste – even if of humbler social origins – as long as they had good prospects. Sometimes a prospective father-in-law would even finance the education of an intelligent young man, of his own caste, who would later become his son-in-law. One famous case of a ‘dowry scholarship,’ as it was popularly known, was that of James Peiris, a leading political figure of the 1920s. His education at Cambridge was paid for by Jacob de Mel, one of the wealthiest landowners and liquor renters of the time, whose daughter Grace married Peiris.
Caste-consciousness was widely prevalent and did not disappear with capitalist development and modernist trends. While the caste system did not apply in public life or government service where merit was the criterion, caste feelings found expression in private life, especially in the arrangement of marriages. In the public domain (except at election time), caste solidarity was overshadowed by class interests, since the local capitalists included members of all castes. Society was also fractured by disputes of a class nature, in the form of employer-employee conflicts. But ethnicity and caste had not been wholly driven out of people’s minds. This would have been true of NU and his relatives who, while trying to move beyond a traditional status, did not forget their caste origins, especially in the choice of marriage partners. At the same time they were conscious of belonging to the Sinhala-Buddhist community of the South – with its regional identity and history based on the ancient southern civilization of Ruhuna and its kings.
Both Norman Wickramasinghe and his daughter took an immediate liking to NU, a bright young man who appeared set for a career in the public service. Horoscopes were compared and were found to match. Gertrude was keen to marry, and her father gave his consent.
However, her elder sister Winifred and her husband Shelton Pieris, a wealthy landowner, felt that Gertrude should marry someone who occupied a better position in society. They were alarmed that the marriage of Gertrude to a ‘lowly clerk’ would diminish the status of the family, and also suspected that NU would benefit financially from this marriage, since Gertrude was her father’s favourite child. Winifred and her husband placed Norman Wickramasinghe under so much pressure that he reluctantly called off the intended marriage. Gertrude, however, was adamant about marrying NU. Since there was no immediate solution to the problem, the matter was left for the time being (de Zoysa manuscript, p.6).
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- Wedding photograph of NU and Gertrude
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- Gertrude as a young woman
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- Gate Mudaliyar Norman and Caroline Wickramasinghe
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- Steps to the verandah of the Tangalle Rest house
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- The Tangalle Rest house
The Wickramasinghe Clan
Norman Wickramasinghe was from a family of landowners in Matara, who had educated their sons at St. Thomas’ College, Matara. Many of the family were in government service – with several in the next generation going into academia and research. Wickramasinghe joined the government service in July 1894 as fifth clerk at the Fiscal’s Office, Colombo. He made progress and, by 1902, was the Head Clerk of that office. By 1913, as a Class I, Grade II clerk, he had a salary of Rs. 1,980 a year, and ten years later, he was promoted to the Special Class with Rs. 4,500 a year, rising to Rs. 5,500 in 1928. He was promoted to Deputy Fiscal, Colombo and upon his retirement in 1931 the title of Gate Mudaliyar was bestowed on him. (The title “Gate Mudaliyar” was originally given to local officials who were interpreters and translators to the Governor. In later years it was one of the ‘native’ titles awarded for services to government departments. The “symbols of power” attached to the post included a distinctive uniform. (See Patrick Peebles, Social Change in Nineteenth Century Ceylon, 1995, New Delhi, Navrang). Wickramasinghe married Caroline Gunaratne whose father was a well-known surveyor, and no doubt received a good dowry. They had two daughters and a son. Wickramasinghe’s property included a house in Gorakana and two rubber estates of 25 and 50 acres in Avissawella. He gave his daughter Gertrude, the 25-acre estate and his son, the 50-acre estate. Wickramasinghe’s “Wasala Walauwa” was a few miles from Moratuwa, a town that had prospered in the 19th century, renowned for the enterprise of its liquor traders. These traders – mainly from Moratuwa and Panadura – had accumulated large amounts of capital, which they invested in the plantation and graphite sectors, and in education abroad for their sons.
Wedding photograph of Gertrude’s sister Winifred and Shelton Pieris
Norman Wickramasinghe’s first cousin was Dionysius Lionel Wickramasinghe (1909-2005) of Panadura, whose sons were the brothers R.H. (Hugh) and P.H. (Percival) Wickramasinghe, both Cambridge graduates in the 1930s. Hugh became a civil servant; and Percival, who was briefly in the Indian Civil Service, upon returning to Sri Lanka became the first non-British Chief Government Valuer. Percival’s son Chandra Wickramasinghe, is an internationally renowned astronomer and Director of the Cardiff Centre of Astro- biology in Britain. Another of Norman Wickramasinghe’s cousins, Wilmot Wickramasinghe, was the father of Dr. Sirima Kiribamune, a former Professor of History at the University of Peradeniya. According to NU’s daughter, Neiliya:
There was always an argument as to whose brains we had inherited – my mother said it was the Jayawardena brains and my father said it was the Wickramasinghe brains. My mother’s second cousins Hugh and Percy
Wickramasinghe were Cambridge Wranglers (with degrees in Mathematics) and my father was very proud of this. (Neiliya Perera, 2006)
This may have made NU all the more determined to obtain a foreign degree himself, and he had the full support of Gertrude in this ambitious venture.
Norman Wickramasinghe’s eldest daughter Winifred’s wedding to Shelton Pieris reflected the elevated status of the Wickramasinghes. It was an era of grand weddings held in the western tradition, but the wedding included a local poruwa ceremony. The national newspapers covered the event, reporting that the civil registration was attested by W.D. Battershill, who was a Deputy Fiscal, and by Abraham de Alwis. One paper reported that:
The cake occupying a room by itself was cut with the bride’s father’s sword and served with champagne… The Eastern Jazz Band… played during the afternoon. Lavish hospitality was dispensed till late in the evening.
The bride was dressed in western attire, popular during the 1920s among young women of notable Sri Lankan families. A newspaper described the bridal wear:
A simple frock of palace silk trimmed with pearls and a large rosette of heather at the waist… with a flowing white georgette veil… Her ornaments were brilliants and pearls, the gifts of her parents, and she carried a butterfly bouquet of May Queen roses. Her going-away dress was of biscuit crepe-de-chine richly trimmed with silk lace, and a hat to match.
Gertrude Wickramasinghe
The Wickramasinghe’s younger daughter Gertrude Mildred, born in Gorakana on 29 May 1905, was educated at the leading girls’ school in Moratuwa, Princess of Wales’ College – the sister school of Prince of Wales’ College, Moratuwa. The schools served children of the prosperous merchants and their relatives from the Moratuwa-Panadura region. Although a Christian school, many pupils like Gertrude Wickramasinghe were from Buddhist families who were keen on educating their daughters.
The Wickramasinghe family
Both schools had been endowed in 1876 by the famous businessman- cum-philanthropist, Charles de Soysa of Moratuwa who, in 1870, had given a banquet at his home in Colombo for two sons ofQueen Victoria who were visiting the island. Charles de Soysa was one of the richest men in the island, with wealth derived mainly from coconut, rubber and tea plantations – the original accumulation being by his father, Jeronis Soysa, in liquor retailing in the Central Province. Charles de Soysa’s wife, Lindamulage Catherine de Silva was an heiress – the daughter of Chevalier Jusey de Silva, another wealthy liquor merchant of Moratuwa.
When Gertrude Wickramasinghe joined the Princess of Wales’ College around 1911, the principal was Priscilla Marshall, a Sri Lankan Eurasian who held this post from 1909 to 1938. She was a graduate of Madras University and was keen to promote female education, encouraging pupils of the school to sit for the Cambridge Junior and Senior examinations, as well as introducing new subjects, including Science, Botany and Latin, into the curriculum. The Marshall family were educationists, and Priscilla Marshall’s sister, Ruth ran St. Clare’s School in Kollupitiya.
Princess of Wales’ College, started in the era of local capitalist expansion, was developed with the intention to promote female education and also cater to the demand by rich, educated men for wives with an English education. Like other Christian schools, Princess of Wales’ College not only aimed at providing educated Christian wives for Christian men of the same class, but also produced English-educated Buddhist women – as suitable wives for Buddhist men.
Wedding photo of NU and Gertrude
Girls’ Education
From the late 19th century onwards, Sri Lankan women had advanced in literacy, educational achievements and access to paid employment. It was an era when middle-class girls were encouraged by their parents to become ‘properly educated,’ thereby erasing any image of backwardness and illiteracy. Girls’ high schools on the British model attracted the attention of the new-rich and those aspiring to economic and social advancement. Colonial education in English for girls was academically oriented and geared to the Cambridge Junior and Senior examinations. In 1881, the first local girl took the Senior, and five sat for the Junior examinations. By 1900 the figures were 15 and 77, respectively. But girls’ schools also emphasized the ‘good wife and mother’ aspects of education – sewing, music, painting and other ‘ladylike’ accomplishments – the accepted hallmarks of the ‘respectable’ bourgeois woman. Some women sought further qualifications, and by the 1890s there were female doctors, nurses and teachers in Sri Lanka (Brohier, 1994).
By the early 20th century, there were many good schools for girls including the missionary schools. They included Bishop’s College, Methodist College, Holy Family Convent, Ladies’ College and St. Bridget’s Convent (all in Colombo), as well as Girls’ High School and Hillwood in Kandy, Vincent School in Batticaloa, Ferguson’s High School in Ratnapura, Southlands in Galle, Newstead School in Negombo, and Princess of Wales’ in Moratuwa. Although there were several Buddhist girls’ schools – Sanghamitta (Galle), Mahamaya (Kandy), Sri Sumangala (Panadura), as well as Ananda Balika, Musaeus College and Visakha Vidyalaya in Colombo – many Bud73 dhist parents, anxious for academic qualifications combined with strict discipline, continued to send their daughters to Christian missionary schools. Both NU’s father and Gertrude Wickramasinghe’s father were no exceptions. The increase in the number of schools geared to providing, from among their co-religionists, suitably educated wives for educated males benefited both the upper and middle classes. There was often a fusion of the old and new rich. Those ‘long on status and short on cash’ bought their way into families who were ‘long on cash and short on status.’ An educated daughter was also an asset. Neloufer de Mel has noted that, among the “ingredients that comprised Sri Lanka bourgeois respectability” was an education in English for girls, which “had to be modern, i.e. Western-oriented.”
Clearly there was value placed on an English education, a knowledge of modern subjects and qualities of discipline and industry instilled by the missionaries that would make their daughters not only good wives but also assets to their husbands. (de Mel, 2001, pp.106-7)
NU, who no doubt preferred to have a wife with an English-medium education, was thus keen on marriage to Gertrude, in spite of the opposition to the marriage in sections of the Wickramasinghe family, especially Gertrude’s brother-in-law and sister. But Gertrude was defiant and insisted on the marriage. Finally, several years after they had first met, the wedding took place in 1929 at the Wickramasinghe home, in Gorakana, Moratuwa. NU, who was 21 years of age, received a cash dowry of Rs. 10,000 and a 25-acre rubber estate in Avissawella. Norman Wickramasinghe found a house for the couple in Lunava, a fashionable suburb of Moratuwa, for which he paid the rent, and also gave his daughter an allowance equal to NU’s monthly salary at that time, which was Rs. 112 (de Zoysa manuscript, p.7). To NU, the money, the rubber estate and house were tremendous incentives, giving him the economic security to further his driving ambition to study. He worked hard at his job, continued to give tuition, and most of all, never gave up studying to improve his own position in life, and perhaps to prove to the Wickramasinghes that he could succeed.
(N.U. JAYAWARDENA The First Five Decades Chapter 5 can read online on https://island.lk/early-employment-and-the-move-to-colombo/
(Excerpted from N.U. JAYAWARDENA The first five decades)
By Kumari Jayawardena and Jennifer Moragoda ✍️
On 17 February, the Indian Navy posted a cheerful message on X.
“Welcome!” it wrote, greeting the Iranian warship Iris Dena as it steamed into the port of Visakhapatnam to join an international naval gathering.
Photographs showed sailors in crisp whites and a grey frigate gliding in the sea harbour on a clear day. The hashtags spoke of “Bridges of Friendship” and “United Through Oceans”.
Two weeks later the ship, carrying 130 sailors, lay at the bottom of the Indian Ocean. It had been torpedoed by a US submarine off Sri Lanka’s southern coast on 4 March.
Commissioned in 2021, the Dena was a relatively new vessel – a Moudge-class frigate of Iran’s Southern Fleet, which patrols the Strait of Hormuz and the Gulf of Oman.
According to US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth, the vessel “thought it was safe in international waters” but instead “died a quiet death”. Rescue teams from Sri Lanka have recovered at least 87 bodies. Only 32 sailors survived.
The sinking marks a dramatic widening of the war between America, Israel and Iran. And, though it occurred in international waters of the Indian Ocean and outside India’s jurisdiction, it is an awkward moment for Delhi.
“The war has come to our doorsteps. That is not a good thing,” says retired Vice Admiral Arun Kumar Singh.
For some strategists, the episode carries broader implications for India’s regional standing.
Indian strategic affairs expert Brahma Chellaney wrote on X that the US torpedoing of the Iranian warship in India’s “maritime neighbourhood” was “more than a battlefield episode” – calling it a “strategic embarrassment” for Delhi.
“By sinking a vessel returning from an Indian-hosted multilateral exercise, Washington effectively turned India’s maritime neighbourhood into a war zone, raising uncomfortable questions about India’s authority in its own backyard,” Chellaney wrote.
Just days before its destruction, the Dena had been a diplomatic guest of the Indian Navy.
The ship had travelled to Visakhapatnam, a sun-washed port city on India’s east coast, to participate in the International Fleet Review 2026 and Exercise Milan, a large multilateral naval exercise meant to showcase India’s growing maritime leadership.
Seventy-four countries and 18 warships took part in the events, which Delhi described as a demonstration of its ambition to become the Indian Ocean’s “preferedsecurity partner”.
Visiting ships at such multilateral exercises usually do not carry a full combat load of live munitions, unless scheduled for a live-fire drill, according to Chellaney. Even during the sea phase, when drills and live firing take place, ships carry only tightly controlled ammunition limited to the specific exercises.
Singh, an invitee to the event, recalls seeing the warship and its Iranian sailors in Visakhapatnam just days before its fate changed.
“I saw the boys marching in front of me,” he says of the Iranian naval contingent during the parade along the seafront, just 10m away. “All young people. I feel very sad.”
He says on 21 February, the assembled ships – including the Iranian vessel – sailed out for the sea phase of Exercise Milan, scheduled to run until 25 February.
“What happened next is less clear: the ship may have returned to port or peeled away after exercises. Either way, the waters where it was later sunk – off Galle in Sri Lanka – lie only two to three days’ sailing from India’s east coast,” Singh says. What the ship was doing in the 10-12 days in between is not clear.
Singh, who has commanded submarines, believes the sequence leading up to the attack was probably straightforward.
The US, he notes, tracks vessels across the world’s oceans. “They would have known exactly when the ship left and where it was heading,” he says. A fourth of America’s submarine fleet of 65-70 is at sea at any given time, according to analysts.
According to the Indian Navy, the Iranian warship had been operating about 20 nautical miles west of Galle – roughly 23 miles (37km) – in waters that fall under Sri Lanka’s designated search-and-rescue zone.
The attack, Singh says, appears to have involved a single Mark-48 torpedo, a heavyweight weapon carrying about 650 pounds of high explosive, capable of snapping a ship in two. Video footage suggests the submarine may have fired from 3-4km away, around 05:30 local time.
The aftermath was grim and swift.
The warship reportedly sank within two to three minutes, leaving little time for rescue. “It’s a miracle they managed to send an SOS,” Singh says, which was picked up by the Sri Lanka Maritime Rescue Coordination Centre in Colombo.
According to the Indian Navy, a distress call from the Iranian warship was picked up by Colombo in the early hours of 4 March, triggering a regional search-and-rescue effort.
The navy said in a statement that Sri Lanka’s navy began rescue operations first, while India moved to assist later.
The Indian Navy deployed a long-range maritime patrol aircraft to support the search and kept another aircraft with air-droppable life rafts on standby.
A naval vessel already operating nearby reached the area by late afternoon. Another ship, which sailed from the southern Indian port city of Kochi to join the effort, continues to comb the waters for survivors and debris.
Under the Second Geneva Convention, countries at war are required to take “all possible measures” to rescue wounded or shipwrecked sailors after a naval attack. In practice, however, this duty applies only if a rescue can be attempted without putting the attacking vessel in serious danger.
Singh says submarines are rarely able to help.
“Submarines don’t surface,” he says. “If you surface and give up your position, someone else can sink you.”
Singh suspects the speed of the sinking – and possibly sparse shipping in the area at the time – meant few nearby vessels could respond. “A ship breaking up that fast leaves almost no chance,” he says.
In a shooting war, Singh says, the legal position is blunt.
Fighting between the United States and Iran had been under way since 28 February, with claims that 17 Iranian naval vessels had already been destroyed.
“When a shooting war is on, any ship of a belligerent country becomes fair game,” he says.
Many questions remain. Why was the Iranian warship still in waters near Sri Lanka nearly two weeks after leaving India’s naval exercise? Was it heading home, or on another mission? And how long had the US submarine been tracking it before firing?
For Delhi, the episode is diplomatically awkward.
India has drawn closer to Washington on defence while maintaining long-standing political and economic ties with Tehran – a balancing act the war has made harder.
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has called broadly for “dialogue and diplomacy” to resolve conflicts, but has neither addressed the sinking of the Iranian vessel directly nor criticised the American strike.
Iran’s Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi described the attack as “an atrocity at sea” and stressed that the frigate had been “a guest of India’s Navy”. Meanwhile Sri Lanka has taken control of another Iranian naval vessel off its coast after an engine failure forced it to seek port, a day after the US attack.
The episode has nonetheless sparked debate within India’s strategic community.
Kanwal Sibal, a veteran diplomat, argued that India’s responsibility may not be legal, but it is moral.
“The Iranian ship would not have been where it was had India not invited it to the Milan exercise,” he wrote on X. “A word of condolence at the loss of lives of those who were our invitees would be in order.”
Others like Chellaney have framed the issue in more strategic terms.
He described the strike as a blow to India’s maritime diplomacy. The torpedoing of the frigate in “India’s maritime backyard”, he argued, punctured Delhi’s carefully cultivated image as a “preferred security partner” in the Indian Ocean.
“In one torpedo strike, American hard power has punctured India’s carefully cultivated soft power,” says Chellaney.
As the debate gathered pace in strategic circles, India’s official response remained cautious.
External Affairs Minister S Jaishankar said on X that he had held a telephone conversation with Araghchi, and also posted a photograph of a meeting with Iran’s Deputy Foreign Minister Saeed Khatibzadeh at a foreign policy summit in Delhi.
For military historian Srinath Raghavan, the legal position is clear: once the Iranian vessel left India’s shores, Delhi had no formal responsibility.
The strategic message, however, is harder to ignore.
“First, the spreading geography of this war. Second, India’s limited ability to manage its fallout,” says Raghavan.
“Indeed, the US Navy has fired a shot across the bow aimed at all regional players, including India.”
[BBC]
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” ––George Orwell, Animal Farm
When I wrote in this column an essay on 4th February 2026 titled, the ‘Beginning of Another ‘White Supremacist’ World Order?’, my focus was on the hypocrisy of Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney’s Davos address on 20 January 2026 to the World Economic Forum. It was embraced like the gospel by liberal types and the naïve international relations ‘experts’ in our country and elsewhere. My suspicion of Carney’s words stemmed from the consistent role played by countries like Canada and others which he called ‘middle powers’ or ‘intermediate powers’ in the world order he critiqued in Davos. He wanted such countries, particularly Canada, “to live the truth?” which meant “naming reality” as it exists; “acting consistently” towards all in the world; “applying the same standards to allies and rivals” and “building what we claim to believe in, rather than waiting for the old order to be restored.” These are some memorable pieces of Carney’s mantra.
Yet unsurprisingly, it only took the Trump-Netanyahu illegal war against Iran to prove the hollowness in Carney’s words. If he placed any premium on his own words, he should have at least voiced his concern against the continuing atrocities in the Middle East unilaterally initiated by the US and Israel. But his concern is only about Iran’s seemingly indiscriminate attacks across the region targeting US and Israeli installations and even civilian locations in countries allied with the Us-Israel coalition.
Issuing a statement on 3 March 2026 from Sydney he noted, “Canada has long seen Iran as the principal source of instability and terror in the Middle East” and “despite more than two decades of negotiations and diplomatic efforts, Iran has not dismantled its nuclear programme, nor halted its enrichment activities.” A sensible observer would note how the same statement would also apply to Israel. In fact, Israel has been the bigger force of instability in the Middle East surpassing Iran. After all, it has exiled an entire population of people — the Palestinians — from their country to absolute statelessness has not halted its genocide of the same people unfortunate enough to find themselves in Gaza after their homeland was taken over to create Israel in 1948 and their properties to build illegal Jewish settlements in more recent times. And then there is the matter of nuclear weapons. Israel has never been hounded to stop its nuclear programme unlike Iran. There is, in the world order Carney criticixed and the one in his fantasy, a fundamental difference between a ‘Jewish bomb’ and a ‘Muslim bomb’ in the ‘clash of civilisations’ as imagined by Samuel P. Huntington and put into practice by the likes of Messers Trump, Netanyahu, and Carney. That is, the Jewish bomb is legitimate, and the Muslim one is not, which to me evokes the commandments in the dystopian novella Animal Farm.
But Carney, in his new rhetoric closely echoing those of the leaders of Germany, UK and France, did not completely forget his Davos words too. He noted, in the same statement, “we take this position with regret, because the current conflict is another example of the failure of the international order.” But in reality, it is not the failure of the current international order, but its reinforcement by the likes of Mr Carney, reiterating why it will not change.
Coming back to the US-Israel attack on Iran, anyone even remotely versatile in the craft of warfare should have known, sooner or later, the rapidly expanding theatre of devastation in the Middle East was likely to happen for two obvious reasons. One, Iran had warned of this outcome if attacked as it considered those countries hosting US and Israeli bases or facilities as enemies. This is military common sense. Two, this was also likely because it is the only option available for a country under attack when faced with superior technology, firepower and the silence of much of the world. I cannot but feel deep shame about the lukewarm and generic statements urging restraint issued by our political leaders notwithstanding the support of Iran to our country in many times of difficulty at the hands of this very same world order.
When I say this, I am not naïvely embracing Iran as a shining example of democracy. I am cognizant of the Iranian regime’s maltreatment of some of its own citizens, stifling of dissent within the country and its proxy support for armed groups in the region. But in real terms, this is no different from similar actions of Israel and the US. The difference is, the actions of these countries, particularly of the US, have been far more devastating for the world than anything Iran has done or could do. US’s misadventures in Vietnam, Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan come to mind — to take only a handful of examples.
But it is no longer about Carney and the hollowness of his liberal verbal diarrhoea in Davos. What is of concern now is twofold. One is the unravelling fiction of what he called the ‘new world order’ in which he located countries like Canada at the helm. And the second is the reality of continuing to live in the same old world order where countries like Canada and other middle and intermediate powers will continue to do the bidding of powerful aggressors like the US and Israel as they have done since the 20th century.
Yet, one must certainly thank Trump and Mr Natenyahu for one thing. That is, they have effectively exposed the myth of what used to be euphemistically called the ‘western civilisation.’ Despite its euphemism, the notion and its reality were omnipresent and omnipotent, because of the devastating long term and lingering consequences of its tools of operation, which were initially colonialism and later postcolonial and neocolonial forms of control to which all of us continue to be subjected.
One thing that was clearly lacking in the long and devastating history of the ‘western civilisation’ in so far as it affected the lives of people like us is its lack of ‘civilisation’ and civility at all times. Therefore, Trump and Mr Netanyahu must be credited for exposing this reality in no uncertain terms.
But what does illegal and unprovoked military action and the absence so far of accountability mean in real terms? It simply means that rules no longer matter. If Israel and the US can bomb and murder heads of state of a sovereign country, its citizens including children, cause massive destruction claiming a non-existent imminent threat violating both domestic and international law, it opens a wide playing field for the powerful and the greedy. Hypothetically, in this free-for-all, China can invade India through Arunachal Pradesh and occupy that Indian state which it calls Zangnan simply because it has been claiming the territory of itself for a very long time and also simply because it can. India can invade and occupy Sri Lanka, if it so wishes because this can so easily be done and also because it is part of the extended neighbourhood of the Ramayana and India’s ‘Akhand Bharat’ political logic. Sri Lanka can perhaps invade and occupy the Maldives if it wants a free and perennial supply of Maldive Fish. Incidentally, the Sri Lankan Tamil guerrilla group, People’s Liberation Organization of Tamil Eelam nearly succeeded in doing so 1988.
Sarcasm aside, even more dangerous is the very real possibility of this situation opening the doors for small, violent and mobile militant groups to target citizens of these aggressor countries and their allies as we saw in the late 1960s and 1970s. This will occur because in this kind of situation, many people would likely believe this form of asymmetric warfare is the only avenue of resistance open to them. It is precisely under similar conditions that the many Palestinian armed factions and Lebanese militia groups emerged in the first place. If this happens, the victims will not be the fathers and the vociferous supporters of the present aggression but all of us including those who had nothing to do with the atrocities or even opposed it in their weak and inaudible voices.
If I may go back to Carney’s Davos words, what would “to live the truth?”, “naming reality”, “acting consistently” and “applying the same standards to allies and rivals” mean in the emerging situation in the Middle East? Would this kind of hypocrisy, hyperbole, choreographed silence and selective accusations only end if a US invasion of Greenland, an integral part of the ‘White Supremacist’ World Order’ takes place? By then, however, all of us would have been well-trained in the art of feeling numb. By that time, we too would have forgotten yet another important line in Animal Farm: “No animal shall kill any other animal without cause.”
Sexual education is a vital component of holistic education, contributing to physical health, emotional well-being, gender equality, and social responsibility. Despite its importance, sexual education remains a sensitive and often controversial subject in many societies, particularly in culturally conservative contexts. In Sri Lanka, discussions around sexuality are frequently avoided in formal and informal settings, leaving young people to rely on peers, social media, or misinformation. This silence creates serious social, health, and psychological consequences. By examining the Sri Lankan context alongside international examples, the importance of comprehensive and age-appropriate sexual education becomes clear.
Understanding Sexual Education
Sexual education goes beyond biological explanations of reproduction. Comprehensive sexual education includes knowledge about human anatomy, puberty, consent, relationships, emotional health, gender identity, sexual orientation, reproductive rights, contraception, prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and personal safety. Importantly, it also promotes values such as respect, responsibility, dignity, and mutual understanding. When delivered appropriately, sexual education empowers individuals to make informed decisions rather than encouraging early or risky sexual behavior.
The Sri Lankan Context: Silence and Its Consequences
In Sri Lanka, sexual education is included in school curricula mainly through subjects such as Health Science and Life Competencies, however the content is often limited and taught with hesitation. Many teachers feel uncomfortable discussing sexual topics openly due to cultural norms, religious sensitivities, and fear of parental backlash. As a result, lessons are rushed, skipped, or delivered in a purely biological manner without addressing emotional, social, or ethical dimensions.
This lack of open education has led to several social challenges. Teenage pregnancies, although less visible, remain a significant issue, particularly in rural and estate sectors. Young girls who become pregnant often face school dropouts, social stigma, and limited future opportunities. Many of these pregnancies occur due to lack of knowledge about contraception, consent, and bodily autonomy.
Another serious concern in Sri Lanka is child sexual abuse. Numerous reports indicate that many children do not recognize abusive behaviour or lack the confidence and language to report it. Proper sexual education, especially lessons on body boundaries and consent, can help children identify inappropriate behavior and seek help early. In the Sri Lankan context, where respect for elders often discourages questioning authority, this knowledge is especially crucial.
Furthermore, misinformation about menstruation, nocturnal emissions, and bodily changes during puberty causes anxiety and shame among adolescents. Many Sri Lankan girls experience menarche without prior knowledge, leading to fear and confusion. Similarly, boys often receive no guidance about emotional or physical changes, reinforcing unhealthy notions of masculinity and silence around mental health.
Cultural Resistance and Misconceptions
Opposition to sexual education in Sri Lanka often stems from the belief that it promotes immoral behaviour or encourages premarital sex. However, international research consistently shows the opposite: young people who receive comprehensive sexual education tend to delay sexual initiation and engage in safer behaviours. The resistance is therefore rooted more in cultural fear than empirical evidence.
Religious and cultural values are important, but they need not conflict with sexual education. In fact, sexual education can be framed within moral discussions about responsibility, respect, family values, and care for others principles shared across Sri Lanka’s major religious traditions. Ignoring sexuality does not protect cultural values; rather, it leaves young people vulnerable.
International Evidence: Lessons from Other Countries
Several countries demonstrate how effective sexual education contributes to positive social outcomes.
In the Netherlands, sexual education begins at an early age and is age-appropriate, focusing on respect, relationships, and communication rather than explicit sexual activity. As a result, the Netherlands has one of the lowest rates of teenage pregnancy and STIs in the world. Young people are encouraged to discuss feelings, boundaries, and consent openly, both in schools and at home.
Similarly, Sweden introduced compulsory sexual education as early as the 1950s. Swedish programs emphasise gender equality, reproductive rights, and sexual health. This long-term commitment has contributed to high levels of sexual health awareness, low maternal mortality among young mothers, and strong societal acceptance of gender diversity. Sexual education in Sweden is also closely linked to public health services, ensuring access to counseling and contraception.
In many developing contexts, international organisations have supported sexual education as a tool for social development. UNESCO promotes Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) globally, emphasising that it equips young people with knowledge, skills, attitudes, and values that enable them to protect their health and dignity. Studies supported by UNESCO show that CSE reduces risky behaviours, improves academic outcomes, and supports gender equality.
In countries such as Rwanda and South Africa, sexual education has been integrated with HIV/AIDS prevention programs. These initiatives demonstrate that sexual education is not a luxury of developed nations but a necessity for public health and social stability.
Comparing Sri Lanka with International Models
When compared with international examples, Sri Lanka’s challenges are not due to lack of capacity but lack of open dialogue and political will. Sri Lanka has a strong education system, high literacy rates, and an extensive public health network. These strengths provide an excellent foundation for implementing comprehensive sexual education that is culturally sensitive yet scientifically accurate.
Unlike the Netherlands or Sweden, Sri Lanka may not adopt early-age sexuality discussions in the same manner, but age-appropriate education during late primary and secondary school is both feasible and necessary. Topics such as puberty, menstruation, consent, online safety, and respectful relationships can be introduced gradually without violating cultural norms.
Sexual Education in the Digital Era
The urgency of sexual education has increased in the digital age. Sri Lankan adolescents are exposed to sexual content through social media, films, and online platforms, often without guidance. Pornography frequently becomes a primary source of sexual knowledge, leading to unrealistic expectations, objectification, and distorted ideas about consent and relationships.
Sexual education can counter these influences by developing critical thinking, media literacy, and ethical understanding. Teaching young people how to navigate digital relationships, cyber harassment, and online exploitation is now an essential component of sexual education.
Gender Equality and Social Change
Sexual education also plays a crucial role in promoting gender equality. In Sri Lanka, traditional gender roles often limit open discussion about female sexuality while excusing male dominance. Comprehensive sexual education challenges these norms by emphasizing mutual respect, shared responsibility, and equality in relationships.
Educating boys about consent and emotional expression helps reduce gender-based violence, while educating girls about bodily autonomy strengthens empowerment. In the long term, this contributes to healthier families and more equitable social structures.
The Way Forward for Sri Lanka
For sexual education to be effective in Sri Lanka, several steps are necessary. Teachers must receive proper training to handle the subject confidently and sensitively. Parents should be engaged through awareness programs to reduce fear and misconceptions. Curriculum developers must ensure that content is age-appropriate, culturally grounded, and scientifically accurate.
Importantly, sexual education should not be treated as a one-time lesson but as a continuous process integrated into broader life skills education. Collaboration between schools, healthcare providers, religious leaders, and community organisations can help normalise discussions around sexual health while respecting cultural values.
Finally , sexual education is not merely about sex; it is about health, dignity, safety, and responsible citizenship. The Sri Lankan experience demonstrates how silence and taboo can lead to misinformation, vulnerability, and social harm. International examples from the Netherlands, Sweden, and global initiatives supported by UNESCO clearly show that comprehensive sexual education leads to positive individual and societal outcomes.
For Sri Lanka, embracing sexual education does not mean abandoning cultural values. Rather, it means equipping young people with knowledge and ethical understanding to navigate modern social realities responsibly. In an era of rapid social and technological change, sexual education is not optional it is essential for building a healthy, informed, and compassionate society.
by Milinda Mayadunna ✍️
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