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DAUGHTERS GROW UP – BUT I MISS THE PRE-TEENAGER

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THERE COMES A CERTAIN moment when a mother realizes that dictates to her daughter are suddenly not being received with the same docility as they were when Offspring was under 11 and still in Junior School. Obedience no longer goes unchallenged. Restlessness, an inability to sit still, raging hormonal changes, an argumentative attitude teetering on rudeness… I can go on, but does anyone recognize a teenager?

Mothers notice this personality shift quite early in the day. Not so Fathers to whom a daughter remains a biddable and adorable little girl all his life. Conversations between parents go something like this.

“Tara is different anney.

“What do you mean different? She looks the same to me. Prettier of course.”

“Not her looks, her outlook sort of.”

He snorts and the mother might as well save her breath. Generally speaking, nuances of behaviour are lost on the male sex as far as wives and daughters are concerned. It seems as if they remain enshrined (not the best word) in a bubble of feminine behaviour that never changes.

Maternal pronouncements, however, begin to change from “Do it this instant,” to “Do you think it is a good idea to do it?” This metamorphosis does not take place overnight of course. There is a moment of realization when a chance incident occurs and things are never the same between them again.

My own such moment vis-a-vis my mother came up when, armed with a brand-new degree, I ventured to advise my highly experienced educationist mama on a school matter. To my stunned surprise she regarded me with new respect. I had gained semi-professional status in her mind and total professional status in mine.

Sooner rather than later I faced this moment of truth with my own offspring. We were driving down Galle Road (during my driving era) when a cyclist cut (illegally) in front of me. I veered wildly. I almost lost control of the car. I certainly lost my cool. Offspring’s hand shot out and she deftly steered the car to the curb. “It’s OK Mummy,” she said soothingly. “Don’t panic.”

The look I turned on her bewildered the poor child no end. She was only 15. When had she become so street smart and savvy? And my Dearly Beloved did not get away with those driving lessons he had been giving her on the sly either. We were on non-speaking terms for a day.

Somehow there was a shift in Offspring’s communication with me. Tacitly her semi-adult status was accepted and I can’t say it hasn’t been a mutually satisfying one.

But then along came KitKat my rambunctious, guileful, exuberant granddaughter rapidly losing that childish panache that constantly brightened my day and I missed that graceless little person no end. What was our moment of truth?

Witness me dithering on the edge of a pavement trying to cross a traffic crowded road while every car in Colombo is bearing down on me with screaming tyres. It is a death-defying adventure I undertake only because my driver has just bleated, “So I can’t park on the other side of the road no Madam.”

I clutch Kitkat’s hand. She returns the pressure. Is she being reassuring by any chance? I yank her halfway across the road and then stand dithering on the road divider before attempting the other half. I decide to make a dash for it. I put out a tentative foot. Tahire’s muscular swimmer’s arm shoots out protectively.

“Take it easy Achchi”,” she says gently. “There’s plenty of time.” I look at her calm face aghast, feeling saddened beyond belief. “Oh no,” I exclaim. Has her moment of truth come already? KitKat is just 13.

So mothers and grandmothers take heed. That moment when you discover your little girl is no longer a little girl should not be traumatic for a door is opening to a wonderful relationship between you.

Embrace it — instantly!



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Rethinking global order in the precincts of Nalanda

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It has become fashionable to criticise the US for its recent conduct toward Iran. This is not an attempt to defend or rationalise the US’s actions. Rather, it seeks to inject perspective into an increasingly a historical debate. What is often missing is institutional memory: An understanding of how the present international order was constructed and the conditions under which it emerged.

The “rules-based order” was forged in the aftermath of two catastrophic wars. Earlier efforts had faltered. Woodrow Wilson’s proposal for a League of Nations after World War I was rejected by the US Senate. Yet, it introduced a lasting premise: International order could be consciously designed, not left solely to shifting power balances. That premise returned after World War II. The Dumbarton Oaks process laid the groundwork for the UN, while Bretton Woods established the global financial architecture.

These frameworks shaped modern norms of security, finance, trade, and governance. The US played the central role in this design, providing leadership even as it engaged selectively- remaining outside certain frameworks while shaping others. This underscored a central reality: Power and principle have always coexisted uneasily within it.

This order most be understood against the destruction that preceded it. Industrial warfare, aerial bombardment, and weapons capable of unprecedented devastation reshaped both the ethics and limits of conflict. The post-war system emerged from this trauma, anchored in a fragile consensus of “never again”, even as authority remained concentrated among five powers.

The rise of China, the re-emergence of India, and the growing assertiveness of Russia and regional powers are reshaping the global balance. Technological disruption and renewed competition over energy and resources are transforming the nature of power. In this environment, some American strategists argue that the US risks strategic drift Iran, in this view, becomes more than a regional issue; it serves as a platform for signalling resolve – not only to Tehran, but to Beijing and beyond. Actions taken in one theatre are intended to shape perceptions of credibility across multiple fronts.

Recent actions suggest that while the US retains unmatched military reach, it has exercised a level of restraint. The avoidance of escalation into the most extreme forms of warfare indicates that certain thresholds in great-power conflict remain intact. If current trends persist-where power increasingly substitutes for principle — this won’t remain a uniquely American dilemma.

Other major powers may face similar choices. As capabilities expand, the temptation to act outside established norms may grow. What begins as a context-specific deviation can harden into accepted practice. This is the paradox of great power transition: What begins as an exception risk becoming a precedent The question now is whether existing systems are capable of renewal. Ad hoc frameworks may stabilise the present, but risk orphaning the future. Without a broader framework, they risk managing disorder rather than designing order. The Dumbarton Oaks process was a structured diplomatic effort shaped by competing visions and compromise. A contemporary equivalent would be more complex, reflecting a more diffuse distribution of power and lower levels of trust Such an effort must include the US, China, India, the EU, Russia, and other key powers.

India could serve as a credible convenor capable of bridging divides. Its position -engaged with multiple powers yet not formally aligned – gives it a degree of convening legitimacy. Nalanda-the world’s first university – offers an appropriate symbolic setting for such dialogue, evoking knowledge exchange across civilisations rather than competition among them.

Milinda Moragoda is a former cabinet minister and diplomat from Sri Lanka and founder of the Pathfinder Foundation, a strategic affairs think tank could be contacted atemail@milinda.org. This article was published in Hindustan Times on 2026.04.19)

By Milinda Moragoda

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Father and daughter … and now Section 8

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Members of Section 8

The combination of father and daughter, Shafi and Jana, as a duo, turned out to be a very rewarding experience, indeed, and now they have advanced to Section 8 – a high-energy, funk-driven, jazz-oriented live band, blending pop, rock, funk, country, and jazz.

Guitar wizard Shafi is a highly accomplished lead guitarist with extensive international experience, having performed across Germany, Australia, the Maldives, Canada, and multiple global destinations.

Shafi: Guitar wizard, at the helm of Section 8

Jana: Dynamic and captivating lead vocalist

He is best known as a lead guitarist of Wildfire, one of Sri Lanka’s most recognised bands, while Jana is a dynamic and captivating lead vocalist with over a decade of professional performing experience.

Jana’s musical journey started early, through choir, laying the foundation for her strong vocal control and confident stage presence.

Having also performed with various local bands, and collaborated with seasoned musicians, Jana has developed a versatile style that blends energy, emotion, and audience connection.

The father and daughter combination performed in the Maldives for two years and then returned home and formed Section 8, combining international stage experience with a sharp understanding of what it takes to move a crowd.

In fact, Shafi and Jana performed together, as a duo, for over seven years, including long-term overseas contracts, building a strong musical partnership and a deep understanding of international audiences and live entertainment standards.

Section 8 is relatively new to the scene – just two years old – but the outfit has already built a strong reputation, performing at private events, weddings, bars, and concerts.

The band is known for its adaptability, professionalism, and engaging stage presence, and consistently delivers a premium live entertainment experience, focused on energy, groove, and audience connection.

Section 8 is also a popular name across Sri Lanka’s live music circuit, regularly performing at venues such as Gatz, Jazzabel, Honey Beach, and The Main Sports Bar, as well as across the southern coast, including Hikkaduwa, Ahangama, Mirissa, and Galle.

What’s more, they performed two consecutive years at Petti Mirissa for their New Year’s gala, captivating international audiences present with high-energy performance, specially designed for large-scale celebrations.

With a strong following among international visitors, the band has become a standout act within the tourist entertainment scene, as well.

Their performances are tailored to diverse audiences, blending international hits with dance-driven sets, while also incorporating strong jazz influences that add depth, musicianship, and versatility to their sound.

The rest of the members of Section 8 are also extremely talented and experienced musicians:

Suresh – Drummer, with over 20 years of international experience.

Dimantha – Keyboardist, with global exposure across multiple countries.

Dilhara – Bassist and multi-instrumentalist, also a composer and producer, with technical expertise.

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Celebrations … in a unique way

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The attraction on 14th July

Rajiv Sebastian could be classified as an innovative performer.

Yes, he certainly has plenty of surprises up his sleeves and that’s what makes him extremely popular with his fans.

Rajiv & The Clan are now 35 years in the showbiz scene and Rajiv says he has plans to celebrate this special occasion … in a unique way!

According to Rajiv, the memories of Clarence, Neville, Baig, Rukmani, Wally and many more, in its original flavour, will be relived on 14th July.

“We will be celebrating our anniversary at the Grand Maitland (in front of the SSC playground) on 14th July, at 7.00pm, and you will feel the inspiration of an amazing night you’ve never seen before,” says Rajiv, adding that all the performers will be dressed up in the beautiful sixties attire, and use musical instruments never seen before.

In fact, Rajiv left for London, last week, and is scheduled to perform at four different venues, and at each venue his outfit is going to be different, he says, with the sarong being very much a part of the scene.

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