Features
Heard at the club
A club member who was a planter in the Morawak Korale, came all the way to Galle to consult a doctor friend. The doctor examined his friend thoroughly and prescribed some medicine and asked him to come back in two weeks to see if treatment was to be continued. Two weeks passed and since his planter friend did not turn up, the doctor wrote to him asking him to come at once. But the planter did not come. Concern for his friend took the doctor to the man’s estate one Sunday morning, where he found the planter, quite hale and hearty, playing soft-ball cricket with his children.
“Hello there, doctor,” cried the planter cheerily. “Your second prescription did me a world of good! I’m now as fit as a fiddle!”
“What second prescription?” asked the astonished doctor.
“Why the one you sent by post.”
“You damn idiot, that was no prescription! That was a letter I sent asking you not to fool around with your ailment, and to come and see me at once!”
“WHAT?” yelled the planter. “What the hell man, I thought it was a prescription. No one can read your damn handwriting, and took it to the chemist and he gave me some capsules and a mixture which cured me completely!”
A dog had been run over, and the carcass was lying for hours beside the road. A public spirited citizen saw it and promptly rang up the scavenging section of the Municipality and informed them about it. “I say, mister,” said the official at the other end in an irritated tone, “Why are you bothering us over a little thing like this? Can’t you get somebody to bury the damn dog?” “I certainly can,” replied the caller coldly, “but I thought I should first inform its next of kin.
***
A garage foreman was the plaintiff in a land case, and after several calling dates, his lawyer told him one day that the trial would be on the 20th of that month. Come the 20th, the foreman did not turn up in the Courts. A few days later he dropped in casually at his lawyer’s office, and that worthy angrily asked the man why he had not turned up on the trial date. “Sir, what is the use of my coming on a “trial” date? And, I thought of coming on the actual date,” answered the foreman.
***
One day a little boy came home from school and asked his father in a puzzled tone. Thaththi, what is Aandu Pakshaya? And the father replied. “Putha, Aandu Pakshaya is the Government. And the little boy asked “What is Government?” And the father replied “Putha, it is something like me. Thaaththi rules the whole house and the whole family.”
“What is Viruddha Pakshaya Thaaththi?” asked the little one.
“The Opposition. That’s your mother. Whatever I say or do, she’s against it.”
“What’s a Trade Union, Thaththi?
“That’s like your akka and aiya. Whatever I give them they are not satisfied. They always want more. Their demands are never ending.”
“Thaththi, then what am I?
“You are the Mahajanaya – the public. No one takes you seriously and when we are in the mood to cuff you and kick you, you have to take it. Of course, you are permitted to cry and yell, but not too loudly.”
***
Nearly three decades ago, a chap, then a clerk at the Examination Department, Colombo, was always pressed for money, and one day, when a wealthy mudalali approached him through a peon in the office to conduct a ‘small transaction’, he eagerly went out to meet the man. All the mudalali wanted was a little help from the mahattaya to see that his son got through the exam (Senior Schools Certificate, the forerunner of today’s G.C.E. O/Level) at the first shy. “If the mahattaya can manipulate the marks. I am willing to see to your trouble,” the mudalali said.
Knowing it was an impossible thing to do, the clerk recklessly agreed. He named a big figure, and the mudalali promptly took out a fat wallet and paid him half, the balance he promised when the job was successfully accomplished. Those days it took months for the results to be released, and the impecunious clerk forgot about the whole thing. Until one Sunday morning he was alarmed to see the mudalali’s huge limousine turning in at the gate of his boarding house. He was about to rush into the house, when the mudalali spotted him and waved gaily.
“Beaming, the mudalali got off his car and told the astonished clerk:” Hari, mahattaya, wadey hariyata hari! Everything worked out very satisfactorily. Thank you, mahattaya, thank you very much. I’ll never forget it!”
“Oh, it was nothing, mudalali,” smirked the clerk who had now recovered from his initial shock.
“No, no, mahattaya don’t say that,” said the happy father, taking out his wallet and paying the balance.
“Mahattaya,
I’ve brought you a bonus also.” The mudalali went to his car and returned with two bottles of whisky!”
***
One day, an old villager on his first visit to Colombo, walked into a multi-storey building and saw a lift in action. He watched as an old lady got into the lift and went up. The lift returned a few moments later, and to the villager’s astonishment, a beautiful young girl stepped out. Running to the post office, the old man sent an urgent telegram to his wife. “Come immediately if you want to be transformed into a young girl.
***
Watching Jimmy Carter on television a few days ago, I was reminded of an old story. When he was President of the United States, we had a sort of slogan at our local club. A member would walk in and tell our bartender, “Give me a President bite!” And promptly the bartender would pour him a double arrack (a ‘carter’) and give a plate of ‘rata-cadju’ (peanuts). (Jimmy Carter was in the peanut trade).
***
A friend of mine who is very fond of the bottle was given a lift one day by a business tycoon. This businessman was well-known for his great and impressive acts of charity and for his devotion to religion as well as his services to it. On the way, the tycoon, who was quite familiar with my friend and his ways, castigated him severely for his intemperate habit, telling him it was sinful, harmful, and senseless and holding himself up as a man who practised moderation in everything except religion.
“Where religion is concerned,” bragged the businessman. “I go the whole hog. I observe the Five Precepts to the letter. I give freely to religious and charitable causes. Yes, I practise selflessness,” and so on and so forth.
About fifty miles from Colombo, the tycoon told his driver. “Martin, you must be tired; let me take the wheel.” The tycoon had driven only a few miles going quite fast, when taking a corner, he hit a pedestrian, injuring the man fatally. “Quick, quick, take my place,” said the agitated and very frightened tycoon to his driver. A huge crowd had gathered by now, and a policeman made his way through to the spot. The cyclist had succumbed to his injuries and after a few preliminaries, the policeman asked the tycoon, his driver, and my friend to accompany him to the police station and make their statements.
On the way, the tycoon whispered to his driver, “Now, remember, Martin; you were driving!” He then turned to my friend and whispered, “And you too, don’t forget to tell the same story, that Martin was driving. “You bloody rogue,” shouted my friend who was quite “high” (he always carried a bottle with him on ‘long trips’) “You and your bloody religiousness. True, I drink, and drink heavily but that’s about all I do wrong. But you, you bloody rascal, you are willing to put this innocent driver of yours in serious trouble to save your own filthy skin. No…Chih! You are a contemptible swine, and I’ll be damned if I make a false statement implicating this poor fellow.
I shall tell exactly what took place, you sanctimonious hypocrite!” And my friend, who told me this story, added that to his dying day he would never forget the look of gratitude and relief that the driver, a married man with two children, gave him.”
***
An executive attended an office party. It was such a jolly one, that he completely lost track of the passage of time. When midnight struck, he gave a start of surprise and dismay, and told his hosts he had to go. Two female stenos asked him for a lift, and the three of them got in the car. He dropped the girls at their homes, and when he reached his own house, his irate wife came up to the car and angrily asked him what kept him so long. To avoid a lot of explaining, he decided to tell a white lie to his wife. “I’m sorry, dear, there was a miss in the car and that’s what delayed me.” “A miss in the car, eh?” screeched his wife. “And I suppose that’s the s…’s handbag in the rear seat!”
***
A member was married to a caring, hard-working housewife. They had three children. The man was a dedicated clubman, and went to the club every evening. And every evening, as he dressed to go to the club, his wife would turn nasty. Despite having three children, she prided herself on her youthful good looks, and as he left the house, the man would retaliate by shouting out, for the whole neighbourhood to hear, “Goodnight, mother of three!” She stood this for several days, and one day, when he said this, she called out loudly: “And, a goodnight to you too – father of one?” He stayed home every evening thereafter.
***
A few years ago, when the picturesque inlet at Closenburg, Galle, was a favourite retreat of foreign tourists for sea-bathing and surfing, a German tourist decided to have a dip in the sea. Placing his clothes, wallet and wristwatch carefully on a rock he got into the water. As he was romping among the waves, he suddenly noticed a suspicious looking local standing where his clothes were. He came out of the water, and questioned the man. The man stood his ground, pointing out in broken English, that, as a free-born citizen of Sri Lanka, he could stand wherever he wanted on public property.
At this the foreigner began berating the man. Guessing that the German was using obscenities, the man decided to give him in kind. “You!” he said, pointing his forefinger at the German. “You, one mother, two, three, four, five, fathers!” That was his English version of “a son of a whore”.
***
A club member was thoroughly drunk one day. Then he staggered to his car, to go home. After a few minutes, the members heard his outraged cry that the steering wheel was missing.
Some of his friends came out and solicitously helped him out of the rear seat to the driving seat, but he was not allowed to drive.
***
Sam was a popular club man. And, when he walked into the club one evening, his friends who had heard the dreadful news, gathered round him sympathetically. “We heard that your wife left you, Sam,” they said unhappily. “So, let us help you drown your sorrow.” “Sorrow?” grinned Sam. “Boys, there is no sorrow to drown!”
Features
‘The devil is in the details’ in West Asian peace
It is obviously too early for an outpouring of joy over the seeming cessation of hostilities between the main antagonists in West Asia. While the prospect of there being a measure of calm in the region is being welcomed by considerable sections of the international community, what is ‘on the table’ currently is only a Memorandum of Understanding between the US and Iran to give peace a chance. The hard part in the peace effort remains to be achieved.
In the Middle East of today we have one of the most complex conflicts to break out in modern international politics and the observer would be naive in the extreme to expect a facile and early closure to the tangle. Yet, for the sake of the world’s publics who have been hurting badly in the prolonged hostilities one could only hope that the US-Iran MoU that is expected to be signed by the sides on Friday would lead eventually to a substantive peace. The world’s thanks are due to Pakistan in this connection for its sustained support in the peace drive.
While the sides have agreed to a ceasing of hostilities in the most general terms and have reached accord on the facilitation of uninterrupted oil and gas supplies to the rest of the world, for instance, the ‘devil will prove to be in the details’ in an envisaged comprehensive peace settlement. It is these details that would make or break peace if the negotiations go on in earnest.
Nevertheless, the details would need to be worked out consensually in a spirit of compromise with an eye to the greater good of the world community. Realpolitik or a narrow focus on solely the national interest among the protagonists, for example, would need to give way to a measure of humanity that would encompass within it a consideration of the overall well being of the world. In other words, it is statesmanship that would crucially matter.
The next few weeks would establish whether humanists are ‘asking for far too much’ when they broach the questions at issue in these terms. Yet it is essentially self interest and national security considerations of the first importance that drove the conflict from even prior to February this year and these questions would need to be taken up and resolved to the satisfaction of the US and Iran in the main if some headway is to be made towards a durable settlement.
The nuclear issue would prove to be the proverbial Gordian Knot. From a realistic viewpoint, Iran could not be expected to be without a potential nuclear deterrent in the face of perceived nuclear threats emanating for it from the West and Israel. In the short term, Iran would need to possess this deterrent to a measure, within a mutually agreed international legal framework maybe, until wide agreement is reached on the nuclear tangle. Specifically, Iran’s immediate threat perceptions with regard to her nuclear-powered rivals would need to be defused during initial negotiations.
Ideally it is a world free of nuclear weapons that must be aimed at but since this goal cannot be achieved in the near or medium terms, unfolding negotiations would need to ensure Iran’s absolute security in a world of powers that continue to swear by the nuclear deterrent, if it is to give up the suspected latter capability.
However, it is to the degree to which the present nuclear powers divest themselves of this capability that Iran could be put at ease on this score. Accordingly, it is nothing short of a complete elimination of nuclear weapons from the world that could dissuade keenly security conscious states from developing nuclear weapons of their own with a mass destruction capability.
This is the number one dilemma the international community needs to grapple with going forward and it is to the extent to which it resolves it that a nuclear weapons free world could be envisaged. No doubt, an uphill challenge.
Compelling Israel to support the present negotiatory process constitutes another grueling challenge for the US. Currently the Iranian position essentially is that a Middle East peace is inseparable from a normalization of the security situation in Lebanon. That is, the present Israeli attacks on the Hezbollah presence in Lebanon must cease if a comprehensive peace is to be realized in West Asia.
However, Israel is showing no signs of drawing back from its attacks on Hezbollah strongholds in Lebanon since the security of the Israeli state is being seen as threatened by the militant group. Co-opting Israel into the negotiatory effort therefore would turn out to be a matter of paramount concern for the US.
Moreover, elements in the rightist administration in Israel are seeing the current peace efforts as a ‘sell out’ to the enemies of Israel. They would have none of it. It is left to be seen how the US would be managing these virtual storm centres in the diplomatic process that could very well bring down the overall purported peace drive.
A recent pronouncement by US Vice President J.D. Vance points to yet another problem area in the US’ current peace overtures. He said that, ‘Regional peace and stability includes stopping the funding of terrorist organizations.’ He was obviously referring to the support extended by Iran to Hezbollah when he mentioned ‘terrorist organizations’ but he has given fresh life to the age-old conundrum of ‘Who is a terrorist?’ by these words.
To the Netanyahu government the Hezbollah and other militant organizations fighting Israel are ‘terrorists’ but from the viewpoint of the Iranian regime they are ‘freedom fighters’. This seemingly insurmountable definitional issue would not only stubbornly bedevil the peace effort but could even figure in bringing about its collapse, unless judiciously handled.
Thus, it’s the thorny details that need to be watched to keep the West Asian peace process afloat, once it gets going in earnest. There is no doubt that US President Trump would be receiving a considerable amount of support from the G7 in this historic peace undertaking and his personal appeals to the grouping currently meeting in France for continuous support are likely to elicit a positive response from it.
Likewise, Trump would need to appeal to also the BRICS countries if almost total global support is to be garnered for the peace drive in West Asia. BRICS’ solidarity with the US and the West is likely to carry considerable weight with Iran and other Eastern actors who are key to a sustained peace drive in the Middle East.
Features
Sri Lanka’s elephant paradox: Govt. counts tourism dollars while playing a dangerous numbers game: Expert
At a time when Sri Lanka is enjoying a resurgence in wildlife tourism, with elephants remaining the undisputed stars of the country’s national parks and one of its most marketable natural assets, elephant conservationist Supun Lahiru Prakash has sounded a stark warning: the nation is in danger of losing the very species that helps attract millions of tourism dollars while sustaining some of the island’s most important ecosystems.
Supun says repeated claims by authorities that Sri Lanka’s elephant population is increasing, despite the absence of a final survey report and amid continuing elephant deaths, risk creating a misleading narrative that could undermine conservation efforts and encourage retaliation against elephants.
According to Supun, the issue is not merely about numbers. It is about political priorities, scientific credibility and the future of one of Sri Lanka’s most iconic species.
“Repeatedly claiming that the elephant population is increasing appears to be an attempt to hide the Government’s inability to manage the rising annual elephant death rate and the complications of human-elephant conflict,” Supun said.
For decades, the Sri Lankan elephant has been a symbol of the country’s rich natural heritage. It is the centrepiece of wildlife tourism, drawing visitors from across the globe to national parks such as Yala, Udawalawe, Minneriya, Kaudulla and Wilpattu. International wildlife documentaries, tourism campaigns and social media promotions frequently place elephants at the heart of Sri Lanka’s nature tourism brand.
Yet, according to Supun, the country’s conservation policies do not reflect the value of the species.
“On one hand, the Government is enjoying increasing tourism revenue, and elephants remain one of Sri Lanka’s most important wildlife attractions. On the other hand, narratives are being promoted that could encourage retaliation against the very species that contributes significantly to the country’s tourism industry,” Supun said.
According to the First Countrywide National Survey of Elephants conducted in 2011, Sri Lanka had 5,879 elephants. However, official statistics show that 4,167 elephants died between 2012 and 2024.
Supun stressed that these figures represent only the deaths officially recorded by the Department of Wildlife Conservation.
“In a context where more than 70 percent of the country’s elephant population reported in 2011 has died within 13 years, it is difficult to accept claims that the population has increased,” Supun said.
The conservationist pointed out that elephants have the longest gestation period among land mammals and that scientific studies have reported increasing interbirth intervals among female elephants together with high calf mortality.
“When such biological realities are taken into consideration, claims of a dramatic increase in elephant numbers become difficult to understand,” Supun said.
Supun believes that repeated references to increasing elephant populations risk fuelling public hostility towards elephants, particularly among farming communities already affected by crop raids and property damage.
“Such claims can create the impression that elephant populations are exploding and thereby promote retaliation against elephants as well,” Supun said.
According to Supun, Sri Lanka’s elephant crisis cannot be understood solely through population estimates. The real issue lies in the country’s failure to address human-elephant conflict through long-term, science-based solutions.
Sri Lanka continues to record among the highest levels of human-elephant conflict in the world. Every year, hundreds of elephants and dozens of people lose their lives as competition for land and resources intensifies.
Despite the scale of the crisis, Supun says authorities continue to rely on strategies that have repeatedly failed.

Lahiru Prakash
These include driving elephants into protected areas, strengthening electric fences to confine them there and allocating additional manpower to maintain fencing systems.
Supun was also critical of several proposals that emerged from district-level discussions on conflict mitigation, including the sowing of paddy and corn using Air Force drones and the planting of fruit orchards within protected areas.
“Such proposals fail to address the real ecological and social dimensions of the conflict,” Supun said.
While welcoming reports that the Government intends appointing a national-level mechanism to tackle human-elephant conflict, Supun said the challenge required intervention at the highest level of government.
“Given the gravity, complexity and geographical spread of human-elephant conflict, appointing any committee other than a Presidential Task Force is not useful,” Supun said.
He argued that a Presidential Task Force chaired by either the President or the Secretary to the President would be better positioned to overcome the bureaucratic delays and institutional fragmentation that have hindered previous efforts.
Supun also stressed the urgent need to restore and protect elephant corridors and home ranges that allow elephants to move safely across landscapes.
He cited the Koholankala elephant corridor in Hambantota as one example where removing obstacles could help reduce conflict while improving habitat connectivity.
At the same time, Supun questioned policies that permit the allocation of forest lands in areas identified by environmental assessments as crucial elephant ranges and movement corridors.
“The opening of elephant corridors and the protection of elephant home ranges must be carried out scientifically and consistently if they are to succeed,” Supun said.
Beyond tourism, Supun emphasised the ecological importance of elephants.
“Elephants are ecosystem engineers. Through their feeding habits and movements, they help maintain habitats that support numerous other species. In many ways, they create safer and healthier environments for wildlife,” Supun said.
According to Supun, protecting elephants means protecting entire ecosystems and the biodiversity upon which Sri Lanka’s wildlife tourism industry depends.
“By protecting elephants, we are also protecting the biodiversity that makes Sri Lanka one of the world’s premier wildlife tourism destinations,” Supun said.
As Sri Lanka seeks to expand tourism earnings and strengthen its reputation as a wildlife destination, Supun believes the country faces a defining choice: continue with policies that have failed to stem elephant deaths and human-elephant conflict, or embrace a science-based conservation strategy that safeguards both people and wildlife.
Without a fundamental shift in policy and political will, Supun warned, Sri Lanka risks losing not only one of its most iconic species but also the ecological and economic benefits that elephants continue to provide.
“The suffering of both farmers and elephants will only intensify unless meaningful action replaces rhetoric,” Supun said.
By Ifham Nizam
Features
Top Model of the World 2026
Back-to-back victory for Colombia
Katherine Castaño of Colombia claimed the Top Model of the World 2026 crown, securing a historic back-to-back victory for her country. Angelica Sanchez of Puerto Rico was named first runner-up, and Eunice Deza of the Philippines finished as second runner-up.
Katherine was crowned by outgoing titleholder Natalia Garizabal Vera of Colombia.
Several special category awards, and subsidiary titles, were also presented during the Top Model of the World 2026 pageant.
These awards recognised excellence in modelling, peer support, and regional representation.
Primary Subsidiary Titles

Sri Lanka’s Netalie Withanage: Top 16 at
the grand finale
Miss Globe 2026: Valentina Tabares (Ecuador) — Awarded to the contestant who perfectly balances fashion modelling with traditional beauty queen qualities.
Queen of Europe 2026: Mia Danielle Williams (United Kingdom) — Given to the highest-ranking candidate from a European nation.
Special Awards Recognition
Audience Iconic Award: Charly (Dominican Republic) — Won via the official public online vote, granting her a fast-track direct entry into the Top 6.
Exotic Model of the World: Angel Emeka (Nigeria) — Awarded for exceptional editorial presence and strong runway performance.
Best Body Award: Thailand — Voted directly by fellow contestants at the Flow Spectrum Hotel. The highest-ranking runners-up for this category included Zambia, South Africa, Colombia, and Ghana.

Angelica Sanchez (Puerto Rico): 1st Runner-up
Final Placement
Winner: Katherine Castaño (Colombia)
1st Runner-Up: Angelica Sanchez (Puerto Rico)
2nd Runner-Up: Eunice Deza (Philippines)
Top 6 Finalists: Included contestants from the Dominican Republic, Romania, and Germany.
The pageant, known for focusing on professional modelling careers over just beauty, brought together 36 models from around the globe for two weeks of runway, photoshoots, and cultural events.
Sri Lanka’s Netalie Withanage walked among 36 of the world’s best and powered her way into the Top 16 at the grand finale.
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