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Ajahn Brahmavamso’s advice for meditation

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Ven. Ajahn Brahm

Ven Mettavihari, who resides in the Narada Bauddha Dharmayatanaya, formerly the Narada Buddhist Research and Information Centre down Sarana Road, Colombo 7, is the advisor to the Brahm Society of Sri Lanka. They are preparing a visit from Ajahn Brahm to Sri Lanka in May 2025.

Ven Mettavihari sent me a verbatim transcription of a talk given by Ven Brahmavamso. Impressed and finding it useful in my attempts to meditate, I decided to redo the article and share it with others in this season of Unduvap Poya. I will give Ajahn Brahm’s actual words within speech punctuation, attempting to retain the ‘flavour’ of his style of preaching. I may not succeed in this but his messages will be conveyed.

“Meditation is learning how to just simply relax the mind but sometimes people misunderstand what meditation is. They try very hard; they try to achieve something; get rid of things and that very trying is the opposite of meditation. When you try to direct your body to do something, you cannot let it do things on its own. When I teach meditation today, sing on how to relax the body and using exactly the same methods to relax your mind, that is Buddhist mediation. It’s not about concentration. That is a very unfortunate translation or rather, mistranslation of the Buddhist term Samadi. It is about stillness, relaxation, and peace that we aim at.”

I now listen to Ajahn Brahmali’s talks on YouTube; he being a devoted pupil of Ajahn Brahm. Ajahn Brahmali gives the same advice. He says that when you are prepared for meditation with correct posture on a cushion or chair and in a suitable place, you relax your body and mind, while of course being fully awake and straight. He says the body will take over and if all is correct, you will get absorbed in your in-and-out breathing or other object you decide to focus your attention on. Ajahn Brahm gives the same advice about posture etc and adds: “You do not get extra points for sitting on the floor.” Ease, comfort, relaxation are all important

Ven Brahm goes a step further. “Now able to take that relaxation deeper, you do need to be very aware of your body. Simple mindfulness. At the beginning that awareness of your body is just very superficial. When it gets strong enough by itself, you actually start to perceive tensions and tight spots in your body. You learn to relax those spots. It’s like looking at your speed gauge when driving. This gauge of mindfulness will indicate to you whether you are tensing more or getting relaxed. With the feedback given, you relax more and more until you feel really relaxed. You then start to experience what I call delight in relaxation.”

Then comes one of his real life similes. “You may think this a mere technique but as your relaxed meditation increases you recognize the happiness, the delight, the sheer joy of these states of relaxation. People spend thousands of dollars going to Bali to sit on a chair near the ocean and get relaxation. But you achieve this with no hassle of airports, flight delays, losing baggage and great spending.

“This is what I want you to start perceiving, noticing your body relaxing. If you notice delight in it, a strange thing happens: the relaxing goes deeper. Experiencing delight the mind wants more, so you relax to the maximum until your body feels continuous delight. The duration of your delight varies, depending on situation, time of year, day, your wellbeing. So no fixed rules; you adapt. That’s what mindfulness does; gives you feedback and you relax.”

He then deals with obstacles like an unfortunate incident that morning, or someone being nasty to you. “You find it difficult to get the ache out of your body, just saying ‘get out’ will not help. You have to deal with this, tend it, care for your mind and with kindness, induce relaxation. The body will relax, the mind will follow. Awareness is not enough, we need to add these other wonderful qualities: compassion, kindness, softness.

“When you are kind to something, you find there is a softening. If it is a memory of the past, kindness will soften your mind and the hurt or pain or resentment will vanish. In the same way you may be worried about the future. Maybe your biopsy result will be given you the next day or your kid is facing a tough exam which affects his future. You cannot force the thought out of your mind nor not take notice. Accept it and like an ache in the body, loosen it. Be kind to your mind dwelling on the future, soften it and the pain too will disappear.”

We all who try to meditate know how thoughts come to the mind and upset our relaxation and one-pointedness. Ajahn Brahm advises getting away from past and present by relaxing, relax with the now – dwell on the present moment. “As I say, be a friend to the present moment. Don’t be an owner, controller, boss. Don’t be a mind control freak. Be a friend, have a relationship of friendliness with your mental world, you’ve lived with it your whole life.”

He then touches on the Buddhist concept of rebirth and suggests we have gone through many lives with this same mind. So we are stuck with our minds. Thus we’d better learn to be kind to it, no escape from the mind. This was a concept that came to me worded simply by Ajahn Brahmali, who says when we die we take our minds with us to the next birth. We’ve been told we take the chuthi sitha, which Sampath the three wheeler driver who spins me around explains as – chuthi means leaves. Using the term ‘mind departing’ explains rebirth in a friendlier manner to me.

Ajahn Brahm brings in a personal anecdote here. He says that when teaching meditation if he was boring, the minds of the people listening would wander. If he were kind and concerned, they sense it. It becomes obvious. He thus introduces kindness and concern and shares it with the people who he preaches to. “Treat your minds with some respect, some kindness, some care. You will become more aware, your mindfulness increases. It’s like awakening in the morning and sensing more around you. It is the awakened one from the world Pujati – to wake up.

“The stronger your mindfulness, the happier you feel. And as you remain still in the present moment a long time, wow, your happiness gets off the scale. That is the result of being mindful and kind. Here we go. So close your eyes and decide not to fight. Not fighting with our body or mind but learning to be at peace with both.”

He is considerate, too, about our human frailties. He advices: “If you want to adjust your body, wiggle your bottom, have a scratch, a nose blow, please do it out of respect for your bodily peace. Once that coarse relaxation of the body through bodily movement is complete, now relax the body even further. If you feel any tension or irritation be fully aware of it. Do not try to get rid of it. Like a barking dog if you try to chase it, it will come at you and bite! What is the mind attitude that sent to your body gives relief? By watching the dial of mindfulness, you’ll find it is kindness, love, acceptance, embracing, caring which relaxed your body deeper and deeper. Just as a mother comforts her child when it is sick and takes away the pain, be aware of the delight of relaxation.”

“All the problems of the past or the future, be kind to them, soften them. See if you can do the same with your mental world, relaxing it until all that is left is this moment called now. Look at it as your best friend. Don’t try to hold this moment with force, don’t use will power, use kindness.”

I am sure you readers will agree it all sounds very easy while meditation is not easy. The crux of Ajahn Brahm’s advice is to make it as easy and pleasurable as possible and the key is relaxation of both body and mind.

Enough of the old Buddhism we followed of rites, rituals and rigidity. Here is what we really need to do to follow the Buddha’s teaching and get on the Path he showed all humanity, which leads ultimately to deliverance from suffering.

NPW



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Features

Crucial test for religious and ethnic harmony in Bangladesh

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A political protest that led to governmental change in Bangladesh mid last year. (photograph: imago)

Will the Bangladesh parliamentary election bring into being a government that will ensure ethnic and religious harmony in the country? This is the poser on the lips of peace-loving sections in Bangladesh and a principal concern of those outside who mean the country well.

The apprehensions are mainly on the part of religious and ethnic minorities. The parliamentary poll of February 12th is expected to bring into existence a government headed by the Bangladesh Nationalist Party (BNP) and the Islamist oriented Jamaat-e-Islami party and this is where the rub is. If these parties win, will it be a case of Bangladesh sliding in the direction of a theocracy or a state where majoritarian chauvinism thrives?

Chief of the Jamaat, Shafiqur Rahman, who was interviewed by sections of the international media recently said that there is no need for minority groups in Bangladesh to have the above fears. He assured, essentially, that the state that will come into being will be equable and inclusive. May it be so, is likely to be the wish of those who cherish a tension-free Bangladesh.

The party that could have posed a challenge to the above parties, the Awami League Party of former Prime Minister Hasina Wased, is out of the running on account of a suspension that was imposed on it by the authorities and the mentioned majoritarian-oriented parties are expected to have it easy at the polls.

A positive that has emerged against the backdrop of the poll is that most ordinary people in Bangladesh, be they Muslim or Hindu, are for communal and religious harmony and it is hoped that this sentiment will strongly prevail, going ahead. Interestingly, most of them were of the view, when interviewed, that it was the politicians who sowed the seeds of discord in the country and this viewpoint is widely shared by publics all over the region in respect of the politicians of their countries.

Some sections of the Jamaat party were of the view that matters with regard to the orientation of governance are best left to the incoming parliament to decide on but such opinions will be cold comfort for minority groups. If the parliamentary majority comes to consist of hard line Islamists, for instance, there is nothing to prevent the country from going in for theocratic governance. Consequently, minority group fears over their safety and protection cannot be prevented from spreading.

Therefore, we come back to the question of just and fair governance and whether Bangladesh’s future rulers could ensure these essential conditions of democratic rule. The latter, it is hoped, will be sufficiently perceptive to ascertain that a Bangladesh rife with religious and ethnic tensions, and therefore unstable, would not be in the interests of Bangladesh and those of the region’s countries.

Unfortunately, politicians region-wide fall for the lure of ethnic, religious and linguistic chauvinism. This happens even in the case of politicians who claim to be democratic in orientation. This fate even befell Bangladesh’s Awami League Party, which claims to be democratic and socialist in general outlook.

We have it on the authority of Taslima Nasrin in her ground-breaking novel, ‘Lajja’, that the Awami Party was not of any substantial help to Bangladesh’s Hindus, for example, when violence was unleashed on them by sections of the majority community. In fact some elements in the Awami Party were found to be siding with the Hindus’ murderous persecutors. Such are the temptations of hard line majoritarianism.

In Sri Lanka’s past numerous have been the occasions when even self-professed Leftists and their parties have conveniently fallen in line with Southern nationalist groups with self-interest in mind. The present NPP government in Sri Lanka has been waxing lyrical about fostering national reconciliation and harmony but it is yet to prove its worthiness on this score in practice. The NPP government remains untested material.

As a first step towards national reconciliation it is hoped that Sri Lanka’s present rulers would learn the Tamil language and address the people of the North and East of the country in Tamil and not Sinhala, which most Tamil-speaking people do not understand. We earnestly await official language reforms which afford to Tamil the dignity it deserves.

An acid test awaits Bangladesh as well on the nation-building front. Not only must all forms of chauvinism be shunned by the incoming rulers but a secular, truly democratic Bangladesh awaits being licked into shape. All identity barriers among people need to be abolished and it is this process that is referred to as nation-building.

On the foreign policy frontier, a task of foremost importance for Bangladesh is the need to build bridges of amity with India. If pragmatism is to rule the roost in foreign policy formulation, Bangladesh would place priority to the overcoming of this challenge. The repatriation to Bangladesh of ex-Prime Minister Hasina could emerge as a steep hurdle to bilateral accord but sagacious diplomacy must be used by Bangladesh to get over the problem.

A reply to N.A. de S. Amaratunga

A response has been penned by N.A. de S. Amaratunga (please see p5 of ‘The Island’ of February 6th) to a previous column by me on ‘ India shaping-up as a Swing State’, published in this newspaper on January 29th , but I remain firmly convinced that India remains a foremost democracy and a Swing State in the making.

If the countries of South Asia are to effectively manage ‘murderous terrorism’, particularly of the separatist kind, then they would do well to adopt to the best of their ability a system of government that provides for power decentralization from the centre to the provinces or periphery, as the case may be. This system has stood India in good stead and ought to prove effective in all other states that have fears of disintegration.

Moreover, power decentralization ensures that all communities within a country enjoy some self-governing rights within an overall unitary governance framework. Such power-sharing is a hallmark of democratic governance.

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Celebrating Valentine’s Day …

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Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love, romance, and affection, and this is how some of our well-known personalities plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day – 14th February:

Merlina Fernando (Singer)

Yes, it’s a special day for lovers all over the world and it’s even more special to me because 14th February is the birthday of my husband Suresh, who’s the lead guitarist of my band Mission.

We have planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day and his Birthday together and it will be a wonderful night as always.

We will be having our fans and close friends, on that night, with their loved ones at Highso – City Max hotel Dubai, from 9.00 pm onwards.

Lorensz Francke (Elvis Tribute Artiste)

On Valentine’s Day I will be performing a live concert at a Wealthy Senior Home for Men and Women, and their families will be attending, as well.

I will be performing live with romantic, iconic love songs and my song list would include ‘Can’t Help falling in Love’, ‘Love Me Tender’, ‘Burning Love’, ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’, ‘The Wonder of You’ and ‘’It’s Now or Never’ to name a few.

To make Valentine’s Day extra special I will give the Home folks red satin scarfs.

Emma Shanaya (Singer)

I plan on spending the day of love with my girls, especially my best friend. I don’t have a romantic Valentine this year but I am thrilled to spend it with the girl that loves me through and through. I’ll be in Colombo and look forward to go to a cute cafe and spend some quality time with my childhood best friend Zulha.

JAYASRI

Emma-and-Maneeka

This Valentine’s Day the band JAYASRI we will be really busy; in the morning we will be landing in Sri Lanka, after our Oman Tour; then in the afternoon we are invited as Chief Guests at our Maris Stella College Sports Meet, Negombo, and late night we will be with LineOne band live in Karandeniya Open Air Down South. Everywhere we will be sharing LOVE with the mass crowds.

Kay Jay (Singer)

I will stay at home and cook a lovely meal for lunch, watch some movies, together with Sanjaya, and, maybe we go out for dinner and have a lovely time. Come to think of it, every day is Valentine’s Day for me with Sanjaya Alles.

Maneka Liyanage (Beauty Tips)

On this special day, I celebrate love by spending meaningful time with the people I cherish. I prepare food with love and share meals together, because food made with love brings hearts closer. I enjoy my leisure time with them — talking, laughing, sharing stories, understanding each other, and creating beautiful memories. My wish for this Valentine’s Day is a world without fighting — a world where we love one another like our own beloved, where we do not hurt others, even through a single word or action. Let us choose kindness, patience, and understanding in everything we do.

Janaka Palapathwala (Singer)

Janaka

Valentine’s Day should not be the only day we speak about love.

From the moment we are born into this world, we seek love, first through the very drop of our mother’s milk, then through the boundless care of our Mother and Father, and the embrace of family.

Love is everywhere. All living beings, even plants, respond in affection when they are loved.

As we grow, we learn to love, and to be loved. One day, that love inspires us to build a new family of our own.

Love has no beginning and no end. It flows through every stage of life, timeless, endless, and eternal.

Natasha Rathnayake (Singer)

We don’t have any special plans for Valentine’s Day. When you’ve been in love with the same person for over 25 years, you realise that love isn’t a performance reserved for one calendar date. My husband and I have never been big on public displays, or grand gestures, on 14th February. Our love is expressed quietly and consistently, in ordinary, uncelebrated moments.

With time, you learn that love isn’t about proving anything to the world or buying into a commercialised idea of romance—flowers that wilt, sweets that spike blood sugar, and gifts that impress briefly but add little real value. In today’s society, marketing often pushes the idea that love is proven by how much money you spend, and that buying things is treated as a sign of commitment.

Real love doesn’t need reminders or price tags. It lives in showing up every day, choosing each other on unromantic days, and nurturing the relationship intentionally and without an audience.

This isn’t a judgment on those who enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s simply a personal choice.

Melloney Dassanayake (Miss Universe Sri Lanka 2024)

I truly believe it’s beautiful to have a day specially dedicated to love. But, for me, Valentine’s Day goes far beyond romantic love alone. It celebrates every form of love we hold close to our hearts: the love for family, friends, and that one special person who makes life brighter. While 14th February gives us a moment to pause and celebrate, I always remind myself that love should never be limited to just one day. Every single day should feel like Valentine’s Day – constant reminder to the people we love that they are never alone, that they are valued, and that they matter.

I’m incredibly blessed because, for me, every day feels like Valentine’s Day. My special person makes sure of that through the smallest gestures, the quiet moments, and the simple reminders that love lives in the details. He shows me that it’s the little things that count, and that love doesn’t need grand stages to feel extraordinary. This Valentine’s Day, perfection would be something intimate and meaningful: a cozy picnic in our home garden, surrounded by nature, laughter, and warmth, followed by an abstract drawing session where we let our creativity flow freely. To me, that’s what love is – simple, soulful, expressive, and deeply personal. When love is real, every ordinary moment becomes magical.

Noshin De Silva (Actress)

Valentine’s Day is one of my favourite holidays! I love the décor, the hearts everywhere, the pinks and reds, heart-shaped chocolates, and roses all around. But honestly, I believe every day can be Valentine’s Day.

It doesn’t have to be just about romantic love. It’s a chance to celebrate love in all its forms with friends, family, or even by taking a little time for yourself.

Whether you’re spending the day with someone special or enjoying your own company, it’s a reminder to appreciate meaningful connections, show kindness, and lead with love every day.

And yes, I’m fully on theme this year with heart nail art and heart mehendi design!

Wishing everyone a very happy Valentine’s Day, but, remember, love yourself first, and don’t forget to treat yourself.

Sending my love to all of you.

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Banana and Aloe Vera

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To create a powerful, natural, and hydrating beauty mask that soothes inflammation, fights acne, and boosts skin radiance, mix a mashed banana with fresh aloe vera gel.

This nutrient-rich blend acts as an antioxidant-packed anti-ageing treatment that also doubles as a nourishing, shiny hair mask.

Face Masks for Glowing Skin:

Mix 01 ripe banana with 01 tablespoon of fresh aloe vera gel and apply this mixture to the face. Massage for a few minutes, leave for 15-20 minutes, and then rinse off for a glowing complexion.

*  Acne and Soothing Mask:

Mix 01 tablespoon of fresh aloe vera gel with 1/2 a mashed banana and 01 teaspoon of honey. Apply this mixture to clean skin to calm inflammation, reduce redness, and hydrate dry, sensitive skin. Leave for 15-20 minutes, and rinse with warm water.

Hair Treatment for Shine:

Mix 01 fresh ripe banana with 03 tablespoons of fresh aloe vera gel and 01 teaspoon of honey. Apply from scalp to ends, massage for 10-15 minutes and then let it dry for maximum absorption. Rinse thoroughly with cool water for soft, shiny, and frizz-free hair.

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