Ministry FOR Corruption a crying need

Now that an all-party government is under formation, may I, a common citizen of this thrice blessed land, plead with all my energy that the president create a new ministry with exclusive responsibility for corruption. A crying need because more people cry consequent upon corruption than even under the State of Emergency. It is astonishing that successive governments, including that of Sirisena-Wickremesinghe yahapalanaya, failed to respond to such loud wailing among the public for a ministry of corruption. There is a ministry of education because education affects us all; similarly with health and even ‘defence’. With the votes of the SLPP and the blessings of Athuraliye Ratana thera and other ardent Sinhala patriots, even when JaViPe votes against it, the president should be able to pass the measure with the enthusiastic support of about 215 MPs, sitting and voting. (The Chef in the kitchen in parliament should arm himself with a few cases of good champagne, even if he has to fly them across from France itself. After all, parliament has absolute control over public finance.) A majority of senior public servants, who have first-hand experience in matters of corruption will actively help run the ministry.

The advantages from creating a ministry for corruption are numerous and manifold. Immediately, there would be some $20 billion in foreign exchange flowing into the central bank. The more efficient the ministry is in spreading corruption the more foreign exchange will flow in. A veritable milch cow. Activities which are now decentralised all over government will have a focal point at which all important decisions can betaken expeditiously. Arrangements may have to be made to run the ministry in dark hours, as much of the wok is shadowy. This is going to be of equal advantage to foreigners and locals. The spigot holding back investments from Japan and Europe will open immediately, with a government ministry dealing with the subject. What had been a noble feature of our rich culture, that made many filthy rich in short order, will be official now. Not the least of the advantages will be a definition (in the Constitution of the Republic, itself) as to what constitutes corruption.

Usvatte-aratchi