Connect with us

Features

Heard at the club

Published

on

Part IV

As all cinema – goers in Sri Lanka know, the gallery is known as “The Gallows”. Long years ago, one Saturday night at a popular cinema, the gallery was full of undergrads who had gathered there after a cricket match.

They were in high spirits and the usual friendly insults were being flung hither and thither, good natured banter and all good fun.

Suddenly there was a diversion. All necks were craned back at the Dress Circle, as who should walk in but Pieter Keuneman, the idol of the young intellectuals of that period.

As he walked to his seat, an irreverent undergrad from the Gallery yelled? “Hey! Comrade Pieter, why don’t you come to the Gallows with the masses?”

With that charmed, smile on his face, Pieter, the falmour boy of local politics, waited for the laughter to subside. Then: “Comrade” he replied, in his impeccably beautiful Cambridge accent. “I shall go to the gallows FOR the masses, but not WITH the masses.”

***

“The late B. P. Pieris, former Secretary to the Cabinet, was driving to a party one evening, when he had to stop at the Kollupitiya traffic-lights. When the light turned green, B.P. accidentally put his car on its reverse gear, and rammed into the car behind him.

The driver of the second car came rushing out, yelling imprecations at B.P., and demanding that B.P. accompany him to the Kollupitiya police station.

“Look, my dear chap”, said B.P. soothingly, “all that will take a lot of time. Can’t we settle this right here and now?”

But the other would not hear of it, insisting that B.P. go along with him to the cop-shop.

At last B.P. began to get a little angry.

“Look here, my man, remember it will be your word against mine. And suppose I were to say that you rammed me from behind, won’t the police accept that as the more plausible story?”

The other driver now began to look a little doubtful, and pressed his advantage B.P. identified himself, gave the man his card, and said, “Get your car repaired and send me the bill.”

***

A member of the club and his flat-mate, also a Sri Lankan, has stepped out of a suburban London train into the biting cold. The member had commented to his friend in Sinhala “Machan Adiyak Athanm Maru” (“Fine time for a drink)”. And to their astonishment a passing porter had said “Arakku nam thavath maru!” (“Still better if it’s arrack)”. Apparently, the man had served here.

***

This member also said that he was staying at a hotel in Madras with another Sri Lankan, and one night at their rice and curry dinner, he had commented to his friend very sarcastically,” Machan! Gull vala bath”.)

(“There is rice in the stones! Mahattaya, buth vala gull!”. (“There are stones in the rice)”.

A drunk got up one morning and found 42 mosquitoes around his bed, all dead of alcoholic poisoning”.

A truly henpecked husband is a man who needs his wife’s permission, even to commit suicide.

The festive season was at its height and every hotel in this town was full. And, these two men, total strangers to each other, were compelled to share the same room. That evening, one of them, having to attend a formal dinner, was getting dressed.

Holding up his necktie, he said apologetically to his roommate, “my wife always knotted my tie for me, so I wonder if you could oblige….?”

“Certainly,” replied the other cordially.” Just lie flat on your back on the bed”.

Rather puzzled, he did so as he was bid, and learning over him, the tie was knotted. “My wife couldn’t have done it better. But why did you ask me to lie down to do it?”

“You see, that’s the only way I’m used to doing it for others. I am an undertaker.”

***

William (that is not real name) was the barkeeper at a popular club, and lavish tips plus little tricks of the trade, had flattened his bank account in a considerable manner, making him greedy, vain and ambitious.

So, when he heard that his charming daughter Ruvani was having a clandestine love affair with the newly appointed Grama Sevaka of the area, he nearly blew his top. His daughter married an insignificant Grama Sevaka? He’d see her dead first?

One day, during a slack hour, a palm-reader dropped in at the club, and offered to give William a free reading.

(He had been sent by William’s daughter and was well briefed). Naturally he said some astounding things about William’s daughter and was well briefed). Naturally he said some astounding things about William’s past, and having won the unquestioning confidence of his “client”, the palmist went on to say “Almost a month ago, your life entered its best period and fame and riches are in store for you. She is going to marry a man of his choice, and the couple will go from strength to strength. You are a vain and ambitious man, and you will be making the biggest mistake of your life, if you stand in their way. For, this marriage is going to bring YOU, the girl’s father, a lot of luck!”

Not many days after this “reading” the young Grama Sevaka shifted his office to William’s house!

***

During the Sinhala New Year, a club member visited a friend of his.

After a little conversation he called out to his wife, Darlo! Bring my friend a cool drink”, adding after a pause, “one to four”.

While they were chatting with the member sipping his cool drink, a sarong clad person arrived, and after a very respectful “salaam” the man sat on the step. He spoke quite kindly to the man, and once again called out to his wife.

“Darlo! Bring another cool drink. One to six”.

The club member was quite intrigued with all this, and after the sarong–clad man had gone, the member asked his friend whether he was placing bets with his wife or something.

“No, no” laughed his friend, who had a reputation as a miser. “You see, your drink was one part cordial to four parts of water – quite rich and tasty, while the man’s drink was a little more diluted. That fellow is just one of my labourers.”

***

This happened at a time (like today), when there was a serious shortage of kerosene oil in the country. There was a rumour that a certain government store-keeper was exploiting the situation by siphoning his stocks of kerosene oil into the black market, and some jealous colleagues of his tipped off their bosses about it.

There was a surprise check, but no shortage in the stocks was found.

What the ingenious store-keeper had done was quite simple. He had attached a length of rubber bicycle tube sealed at one end to the aperture in each of the barrels from inside, filling the tubes with kerosene oil, and when the calibrator (a foot ruler like thing) with a series of markings indicating the quantity of oil in each barrel was inserted into the kerosene filled bicycle tubes, the readings tallied with the store-keeper’s stock books, while actually the barrels were empty.

***

“Love is blind” said a lunatic to his cell-mate.

“Who said so?” asked the other.

“God did”.

“Rubbish” said a voice from the adjoining cell.

“I never did.”

***

A devotee who visited a temple, found that his new pair of shoes had been pinched. S, he bought a new pair and on his next visit to the temple, left a note in one shoe.

“I am a Karate Black Belt” it said.

On his return he found his shoes missing and a note from the thief.” Not to worry, I am a champion runner.”

***

One day a club member related these gaffes of a teacher. During the Hartal violence of August 1953, a Central School was completely gutted. The following day there was a headline in a newspaper: “Central School burnt down! Arson suspected.”

The above teacher exclaimed “Arson must be a bloody Communist”.

***

One day he went to see a cricket match, where the incompetent wicket-keeper conceded many extras.

Looking at the scoreboard he had said “I say” that fellow Extras seems to be batting very well!”

***

This teacher lived in a house behind the Galkissa Cemetery. When a colleague of his asked where he lived, he had said “I live behind the funeral”.

***

One day, he went Christmas shopping with his pretty daughter. She was heavily laden with many parcels and as she followed in her father’s wake, she stumbled and narrowly avoided a fall.

“Father! I lost my balance”.

“I told you to be careful” he told her irately.

“There are pick-pockets all over the town these days”.

“How much did you lose?”

***

It was a society wedding at the Galle Face Hotel and this teacher too attended it in his usual national dress.

The following day he told the class, “All the people were well dressed and only I was in the national dress. Aiya! Boys, I felt like a bloody cat out of the bag”.

One day a tourist asked him “How far is that place?” pointing to the distant lights of Colombo.

“It is about seven miles by road. But only three miles as the cock crows!”

***

In 1954 when there was a total solar eclipse, some students went to Hingurakgoda, which was supposed to be a good place to view it.

The following day when he went to his class, he had said, “I hear that some of you went to see the cyclops!”

***

One day he told the class, “You know boys, I come from a good family. My eldest brother is a top doctor and very rich. My second brother is a leading Lawyer also very rich. And, I am only a poor teacher and the black dog in the family!”

***

One day he wnt to see a friend who had a ferocious-looking Alsatian dog. So, he asked his friend “I say! Is the dog eatable?”.


  • All News Advertisement





Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Features

Relief without recovery

Published

on

A US airstrike on an Iranian oil storage facility

The escalating conflict in the Middle East is of such magnitude, with loss of life, destruction of cities, and global energy shortages, that it is diverting attention worldwide and in Sri Lanka, from other serious problems. Barely four months ago Sri Lanka experienced a cyclone of epic proportions that caused torrential rains, accompanied by floods and landslides. The immediate displacement exceeded one million people, though the number of deaths was about 640, with around 200 others reported missing. The visual images of entire towns and villages being inundated, with some swept away by floodwaters, evoked an overwhelming humanitarian response from the general population.

When the crisis of displacement was at its height there was a concerted public response. People set up emergency kitchens and volunteer clean up teams fanned out to make flooded homes inhabitable again. Religious institutions, civil society organisations and local communities worked together to assist the displaced. For a brief period the country witnessed a powerful demonstration of social solidarity. The scale of the devastation prompted the government to offer generous aid packages. These included assistance for the rebuilding of damaged houses, support for building new houses, grants for clean up operations and rent payments to displaced families. Welfare centres were also set up for those unable to find temporary housing.

The government also appointed a Presidential Task Force to lead post-cyclone rebuilding efforts. The mandate of the Task Force is to coordinate post-disaster response mechanisms, streamline institutional efforts and ensure the effective implementation of rebuilding programmes in the aftermath of the cyclone. The body comprises a high-level team, led by the Prime Minister, and including cabinet ministers, deputy ministers, provincial-level officials, senior public servants, representing key state institutions, and civil society representatives. It was envisaged that the Task Force would function as the central coordinating authority, working with government agencies and other stakeholders to accelerate recovery initiatives and restore essential services in affected regions.

Demotivated Service

However, four months later a visit to one of the worst of the cyclone affected areas to meet with affected families from five villages revealed that they remained stranded and in a state of limbo. Most of these people had suffered terribly from the cyclone. Some had lost their homes. A few had lost family members. Many had been informed that the land on which they lived had become unsafe and that they would need to relocate. Most of them had received the promised money for clean up and some had received rent payments for two months. However, little had happened beyond this. The longer term process of rebuilding houses, securing land and restoring livelihoods has barely begun. As a result, families who had already endured the trauma of disaster, now face prolonged uncertainty about their future. It seems that once again the promises made by the political leadership has not reached the ground.

A government officer explained that the public service was highly demotivated. According to him, many officials felt that they had too much work piled upon them with too little resources to do much about it. They also believed that they were underpaid for the work they were expected to carry out. In fact, there had even been a call by public officials specially assigned to cyclone relief work to go on strike due to complaints about their conditions of work. This government official appreciated the government leadership’s commitment to non corruption. But he noted the irony that this had also contributed to a demotivation of the public service. This was on the unjustifiable basis that approving and implementing projects more quickly requires an incentive system.

Whether or not this explanation fully captures the situation, it points to an issue that the government needs to address. Disaster recovery requires a proactive public administration. Officials need to reach out to affected communities, provide clear information and help them navigate the complex procedures required to access assistance. At the consultation with cyclone victims this was precisely the concern that people raised. They said that government officers were not proactive in reaching out to them. Many felt they had little engagement with the state and that the government officers did not come to them. This suggests that the government system at the community level could be supported by non-governmental organisations that have the capacity and experience of working with communities at the grassroots.

In situations such as this the government needs to think about ways of motivating public officials to do more rather than less. It needs to identify legitimate incentives that reward initiative and performance. These could include special allowances for those working in disaster affected areas, recognition and promotion for officers who successfully complete relief and reconstruction work, and the provision of additional staff and logistical support so that the workload is manageable. Clear targets and deadlines, with support from the non-governmental sector, can also encourage officials to act more proactively. When government officers feel supported and recognised for the extra effort required, they are more likely to engage actively with affected communities and ensure that assistance reaches those who need it most.

Political Solutions

Under the prevailing circumstances, however, the cyclone victims do not know what to do. The government needs to act on this without further delay. Government policy states that families can receive financial assistance of up to Rs 5 million to build new houses if they have identified the land on which they wish to build. But there is little freehold land available in many of the affected areas. As a result, people cannot show government officials the land they plan to buy and, therefore, cannot access the government’s promised funds. The government needs to address this issue by providing a list of available places for resettlement, both within and outside the area they live in. However, another finding at the meeting was that many cyclone victims whose lands have been declared unsafe do not wish to leave them. Even those who have been told that their land is unstable feel more comfortable remaining where they have lived for many years. Relocating to an unfamiliar area is not an easy decision.

Another problem the victims face is the difficulty of obtaining the documents necessary to receive compensation. Families with missing members cannot prove that their loved ones are no longer alive. Without official confirmation they cannot access property rights or benefits that would normally pass to surviving family members. These are problems that Sri Lanka has faced before in the context of the three decade long internal war. It has set up new legal mechanisms such as the provision of certificates of absence validated by the Office on Missing Persons (OMP) in place of death certificates when individuals remain missing for long periods. The government also needs to be sensitive to the fact that people who are farmers cannot be settled anywhere. Farming is not possible in every location. Access to suitable land and water is essential if farmers are to rebuild their livelihoods. Relocation programmes that fail to take these realities into account risk creating new psychological and economic hardships.

The message from the consultation with cyclone victims is that the government needs to talk more and engage more directly with affected communities. At the same time the political leadership at the highest levels need to resolve the problems that government officers on the ground cannot solve. Issues relating to land availability, legal documentation and livelihood restoration require policy decisions at higher levels. The challenge to the government to address these issues in the context of the Iran war and possible global catastrophe will require a special commitment. Demonstrating that Sri Lanka is a society that considers the wellbeing of all its citizens to be a priority will require not only financial assistance but also a motivated public service and proactive political leadership that reaches out to those still waiting to rebuild their lives.

 

by Jehan Perera

Continue Reading

Features

Supporting Victims: The missing link in combating ragging

Published

on

A recent panel discussion at the University of Peradeniya examined the implications of the Supreme Court’s judgement on ragging, in which the Court recognised that preventing ragging requires not only criminal penalties imposed after an incident occurs but also systems and processes within universities that enable victims to speak up and receive support. Bringing together perspectives from law, university administration, psychology and students, the discussion sought to understand why ragging continues to persist in Sri Lankan universities despite the existence of legal prohibitions. While the discussion covered legal and institutional dimensions, one theme emerged clearly: addressing ragging requires more than laws and disciplinary rules. It requires institutions that are capable of supporting victims.

Sri Lanka enacted the Prohibition of Ragging and Other Forms of Violence in Educational Institutions Act No. 20 of 1998 following several tragic incidents in universities, during the 1990s. Among the most widely remembered is the death of engineering student S. Varapragash at the University of Peradeniya in 1997. Incidents such as this shocked the country and revealed the consequences of allowing violent forms of student hierarchy to persist. The 1998 Act marked an important legal intervention by recognising ragging as a criminal offence. The law introduced severe penalties for individuals found guilty of engaging in ragging or other forms of violence in educational institutions, including fines and imprisonment.

Despite the existence of this law for nearly three decades, prosecutions under the Act have been extremely rare. Incidents continue to surface across universities although most are not reported. The incidents that do reach university administrations are dealt with internally through disciplinary procedures rather than through the criminal justice system. This suggests that the problem does not lie solely in the absence of legal provisions but also in the ability of victims to come forward and pursue complaints.

The tragic reminders; the cases of Varapragash and Pasindu Hirushan

Varapragash, a first-year engineering student at the University of Peradeniya, was forced by senior students to perform extreme physical exercises as part of ragging, resulting in severe internal injuries and acute renal failure that ultimately led to his death. In 2022, the courts upheld the conviction of one of the perpetrators for abduction and murder. The case illustrates not only the brutality of ragging but also how long and difficult the path to justice can be for victims and their families. Even when victims speak about their experiences, they may not always disclose the full extent of what they have endured. In the case of Varapragash, the judgement records that the victim told his father that he was asked to do dips and sit-ups. Varapragash’s father had testified that it appeared his son was not revealing the exact details of what he had to endure due to shame.

More than two decades after the death of Varapragash, the tragedy of ragging continues. The 2025 Supreme Court judgement arose from the case of Pasindu Hirushan, a 21-year-old student of the University of Sri Jayewardenepura, who sustained devastating head injuries at a fresher’s party, in March 2020, after a tyre sent down the stairs by senior students struck him. He became immobile, was placed on life support, and returned home only months later. If the Varapragash case exposed the deadly consequences of ragging in the 1990s, the Pasindu Hirushan case demonstrates that universities are still failing to prevent serious violence, decades after the enactment of the 1998 Act. It was against this background of continuing institutional failure that the Supreme Court issued its Orders of Court in 2025. Among the key mechanisms emphasised by the judgement is the establishment of Victim Support Committees within universities.

Why do victims need support?

Ragging in universities can take many forms, including verbal humiliation, physical abuse, emotional intimidation and, in some instances, sexual harassment. While all forms of ragging can have serious consequences, incidents involving sexual harassment often present additional barriers for victims who wish to come forward. Victims may hesitate to complain due to weak institutional mechanisms, fear of retaliation, or uncertainty about whether their experiences will be taken seriously. In many cases, those who speak out are confronted with questions that shift attention away from the alleged misconduct and onto their own behaviour: why did s/he continue the conversation?; why did s/he not simply disengage, if the harassment occurred as claimed?; why did s/he remain in the environment?; or did his/her actions somehow encourage the accused’s behaviour? Such responses illustrate how easily victims can be subjected to a second layer of scrutiny when they attempt to report incidents. When individuals anticipate disbelief, minimisation or blame, silence may appear safer than disclosure. In such circumstances, the presence of a trusted institutional body, capable of providing guidance, protection and support, become critically important, highlighting the need for effective Victim Support Committees within universities.

What Victim Support Committees must do

As expected by the Supreme Court, an effective Victim Support Committee should function as a trusted institutional mechanism that places the safety and dignity of victims at the centre of its work. The committee must provide a safe and confidential point of contact through which victims can report incidents of ragging without fear of intimidation or retaliation. It should assist victims in understanding and pursuing available complaint procedures, while also ensuring their immediate protection where there is a risk of continued harassment. Recognising the psychological harm ragging may cause, the committee should facilitate access to counselling and emotional support services. At a practical level, it should also help victims document incidents, record statements, and preserve evidence that may be necessary for disciplinary or legal proceedings. The committee must coordinate with university authorities to ensure that complaints are addressed promptly and responsibly, while maintaining strict confidentiality to protect the identity and well-being of those who come forward. Beyond responding to individual cases, Victim Support Committees should also contribute to broader awareness and prevention efforts, within universities, helping to create an environment where ragging is actively discouraged and students feel safe to report incidents. Without such support, the process of pursuing justice can become overwhelming for individuals who are already dealing with the emotional impact of abuse.

Making Victim Support Committees work

According to the Orders of Court, these committees should include representatives from the academic and non-academic staff, a qualified counsellor and/or clinical psychologist, an independent person, from outside the institution, with experience in law enforcement, health, or social services, and not more than three final-year students, with unblemished academic and disciplinary records, appointed for fixed terms. Further, universities must ensure that committees consist of individuals who possess both expertise and genuine commitment in areas such as student welfare, psychology, gender studies, human rights and law enforcement, in line with the spirit of the Supreme Court’s directions, rather than consisting largely of ex officio positions. If treated as routine administrative positions, rather than responsibilities requiring specialised knowledge, sensitivity and empathy, these committees risk becoming symbolic rather than functional.

Greater transparency in the appointment process could strengthen the credibility of these committees. Universities could invite expressions of interest from individuals with relevant expertise and demonstrated commitment to supporting victims. Such an approach would help ensure that the committees benefit from the knowledge and dedication of those best equipped to fulfil this role.

The Supreme Court judgement also introduces an important safeguard by giving the University Grants Commission (UGC) the authority to appoint members to university-level Victim Support Committees. If exercised with integrity, this provision could help ensure that these committees operate with greater independence. It may also help address a challenge that sometimes arises within institutions, where individuals, with relevant expertise, or strong commitment to addressing issues, such as violence, harassment or student welfare, may not always be included in institutional mechanisms due to internal administrative preferences. External oversight by the UGC could, therefore, create opportunities for such individuals to contribute meaningfully to Victim Support Committees and strengthen their effectiveness.

Ultimately, the success of the recent judgement will depend not only on the directives it issued, the number of committees universities establish, or the number of meetings they convene, or other box-checking exercises, but on how sincerely those directives are implemented and the trust these committees inspire among students and staff. Laws can prohibit ragging, but they cannot by themselves create environments in which victims feel safe to speak. That responsibility lies with institutions. When universities create systems that listen to victims, support them and treat their experiences with seriousness, universities will become places where dignity and learning can coexist.

(Udari Abeyasinghe is attached to the Department of Oral Pathology at the University of Peradeniya)

Kuppi is a politics and pedagogy happening on the margins of the lecture hall that parodies, subverts, and simultaneously reaffirms social hierarchies.

by Udari Abeyasinghe

Continue Reading

Features

Big scene … in the Seychelles

Published

on

Mirage: Off to the Seychelles for fifth time

Several of our artistes do venture out on foreign assignments but, I’m told, most of their performances are mainly for the Sri Lankans based abroad.

However, the group Mirage is doing it differently and they are now in great demand in the Seychelles.

Guests patronising the Lo Brizan pub/restaurant, Niva Labriz Resort, in the Seychelles, is made up of a wide variety of nationalities, including Russians, Chinese, French and Germans, and they all enjoy the music dished out by Mirage, and that is precisely why they are off to the Seychelles … for the fifth time!

The band is scheduled to leave this month and will be back after three weeks, but their journey to the Seychelles will continue, with two more assignments lined up for 2026.

In August it’s a four-week contract, and in December another four-week contract that will take in the festive celebrations … Christmas and the New Year.

Donald’s birthday
celebrations

According to reports coming my way, it is a happening scene at the Lo Brizan pub/restaurant, Niva Labriz Resort, whenever Mirage is featured, and the band has even adjusted its repertoire to include local and African songs.

They work three hours per day and six days per week at the Lo Brizan pub/restaurant.

Donald Pieries:
Leader, vocalist,
drummer

Led by vocalist and drummer Donald Pieries, many say it is his

musical talents and leadership that have contributed to the band’s success.

Donald, who celebrated his birthday on 07 March, at the Irish Pub, has been with the group through various lineup changes and is known for his strong vocals.

He leads a very talented and versatile line up, with Sudham (bass/vocals), Gayan (lead guitar/vocals), Danu (female vocalist) and Toosha (keyboards/vocals).

Mirage performs regularly at venues like the Irish Pub in Colombo and also at Food Harbour, Port City.

Continue Reading

Trending