Features

Andy Roberts – as it happened

Published

3 years ago

2023/05/14

by Capt. Elmo Jayawardena

I knew Andy from years gone by. No one bothered with his real name, he was simply Andy Roberts, of course connected in some wav to cricket and the West Indian fast bowler. Andy’s mother, Cicilin, worked for Aunty Dee, job description, Major Domo in the kitchen, plus all the chores that went with a middle class home in the sixties. Big, charcoal black, that was Cicilin,

hefty as a hippo, with a smile that sprouted through toothless gums and an abundance of breast that over flowed out of size forty two.

Cicilin was ramrod at Dee’s home, duties including everything, plus occasionally spanking the little masters of the house hold. This was Sri Lanka, sans wars and turmoil, times of life in a lighter shade , slow lane and lazy stuff, where laughter came easy and plenty to all comers.

Andv was about 10 and hailed from a family of more than a dozen. He tagged along with his mother, to stay at Dee’s, one more mouth for Aunty Dee to feed, one less for Andy’s father, that’s how it all worked, super simple.

Andy Roberts was ordinary, the prototype average in everything, eternally with a faraway took. His marbles clicked slow and his lift never reached the top floor, stuck somewhere at lower rungs to go through life with the most mundane of want and ambition. He’s been to school to learn to write his name and a few syllables and there ended his academics. He passed his time at Aunty Dee’s , helping his mother in the kitchen, and doing small time work as watering the garden and sweeping the house, plus running errands for whoever needed his services.

Andy’s day really began when Aunty Dee’s son came home from school. Same age as Andy. The two would go straight into the garden with bat and ball, an imaginary Lords. They would set stumps, the master taking guard and Andy measuring his run up. The contest begins and the little master would weld the willow to all fences and roofs in the neighborhood to the demon fast bowling of Andy.

Servant boys seldom got to bat, they only bowled, and Andy bowled. Sarong tucked in Kahapata fashion, long galloping run-up, a sky jump and of course no over arm, simply a wild chuck and Andy sent his missiles to little Dee who smashed them into make shift boundaries in all corners of the garden. Thev plaved everyday till the Angeles chimed at the nearby church.

Little Dee was Gary Sobers, Neil Harvey or Ted Dexter, who ever was the flavour of the season, and of course the mate Andy was always Andy Roberts, the errand boy, water man in the garden and Cicilin’s kolla, who transformed into a demon fast bowler by afternoon. (Little Dee indeed went on to become a well known and respected International cricketer).

The world got older, so did the rest of us, each growing and drifting away from tender years. Little Dee’s name got splashed in sport’s pages and Andy took the domestic servant’s route and went to work as a temporary gardener in a five star hotel. No more cricket, just rainbow memories of kahapata sarongs and chucking balls at the little master. That was fine, new chapters to begin. and Andy fell in love with a hospital attendant who he met daily in the train, whilst wending to work.

Love story modernised, Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Niel replaced. Andy was in star status with daisies popping out of his ears. Lo and behold, love and all, stolen Matinees and amorous evenings at “Hard Rock Cafes”. The movies were in Hindi, long and dragging, longer the better, who cared a hoot about what went on the screen, the action was all on the seats. The Hard Rock Cafes were no fancy restaurants. They were the granite boulders along Wellawatte beach, where pauper lovers sat, lulled by the sea breeze, munching ten cent gram and talking sweet nothings with exploring hands, rewriting the Bard’s immortal Romeo and Juliet. Sri Lankan version.

Andy did fine, temporary job tending the five star flora, riding trains with Ali MacGraw and the evenings at the Hard Rock Cafe, what more to ask of life?

The monsoons changed, so did people. The hospital attendant shifted gears and went upward from her temporary gardener to a more prosperous salesmen at Ceylinco House. Andy’ s sails collapsed, the romance went rotten, broke our fast bowler’s heart. He didn’t know how to cope. Pleadings with the attendant to resurrect the love fell on deaf ears. How to go back, defended Ali MacGraw, “no more Penny Counters in my life” and “no more Hard Rock Cafes either”. She was now eating Buriyanii at Pilawoos and drinking milk shakes at Cream House with the Ceylinco man.

No way out, no life without the attendant, Andy, the lost lover, shattered soul man, an also ran in the race of romance, took eleven gulps of Pynol to end his life.

Miracles did happen, a retching Andy was noticed by a colleague, alarms rang, the hotel staff gathered and rushed Andy to the accident ward. A quick cleansing of the stomach, flavoured with a little bit of luck, Andy survived. Visitors trickled and visitors asked, Andy stared at the ceiling and kept silent to all the questions of why and why.

Two days later a sergeant came, from the Police. Kata uththara business. Andv had to tell him why he attempted suicide.

A wail and a cry, a swear and a sigh, Andy tearfully told his tale of woe. How he was one of the many, the voiceless victim class. “What was there to live for” Andv lamented, “toll in the sun from dawn to dusk, year after year, the village boy, perpetually temporary, no hope to become permanent, no say in the matter”.

Tears poured and the sobbing Andy went on, cunningly leaving the attendant and how she booted with a penalty kick. “Where was the light, more than reason for suicide,

thanks to the establishment that tortured the poor”. The whole “Wretched of the Earth” rigmarole, not felons, but Andy’s version. The nurses heard, the doctors too, The sergeant scribbled his notes and left the room. Outside in the corridor they spoke in whispers, how wrong it all was, the system that ignored the wants of the downtrodden. The doctor, the nurse, the policeman, converted to instant Samaritans and agreed to inform the hotel for some immediate action, lest they wanted the “exploited headline stuff’ in the week-end newspapers.

Someone spoke to someone, eyebrows raised, favours asked and silence was assured. All happening among the penthouse people.

The ward never saw so much food, straight from the five star buffets, they came in silver plated containers with matching spoons. Andy feasted and shared his good luck with his ailing buddies in the ramshackle ward. They ate like kings, thanks to the possibility of some smart alec journalist who could open a new Pandora’s box against the five star management.

The Personnel Manager himself visited, patted Andy on the head and promised not onlv the moon but the Milky way itself. Certainly, he will be made permanent as soon as he recovered.. “We are so much looking forward to have you back”, promised the boss man, the -usual fairy tale of the frightened.

A week later a reincarnated Andy left the hospital and rejoined the Five Star Hotel as

permanent gardener, casual leave, EPF, medical facilities and even entitled to his share of the service charges. No more need for pretended Pynol solutions.

In some old half torn Bristol Board file was Andy’s report gathering dust in the Slave Island Police Station. Conveniently forgotten.

I saw him again, at Aunt Dee’s 75th birthday party. Promoted to butler status,

serving drinks and supervising the food. He is now married (not to Ali Macgraw of Hard Rock fame) well settled with a wife and two children, steady job, laughing at life. Same old Andy with the far away look, demon pacei, train ride Romeo, horticulturist, hemlock man, allround dust guttersnipe, who whilst lying in a hospital bed in one quick thinking moment yorked and clean bowled the establishment.

elmojay1@gmail.com

All News Advertisement

Related Topics:Andy Robert Elmo Jayawardena

Up Next

The Coronation: facts, comments, anecdotes

Don't Miss

Obtaining fresh mandate unavoidable requirement

Click to comment

Features

New US sanctions on ICC, a fillip to worldwide political repression

Published

9 hours ago

2026/10/15

Thilina Walpola

The International Criminal Court in session. UN Photo/Eskinder Debebe

US Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s warning to the International Criminal Court (ICC) was stark: ‘Either the ICC will end its threats, or we will end the ICC.’ It followed US central administration accusations that the court was unfairly targeting Americans on the basis of trumped-up war crimes charges.

However, a new plethora of sanctions has been clamped on the ICC by the US, which in turn has spurred accusations by sections of the world that the latter has unleashed an ‘assault’ on the international legal order.

What some of the sanctions would mean for the ICC was outlined by Rubio: ‘We will ban transactions with this rogue court, cutting off their resources and crippling their ability to operate against us.’

The ICC has shown consistency of purpose over the years. Despite some operational constraints it has indicted a large number of political strongmen from around the world, accused of war crimes and other governance excesses that come under its purview. Two such recent figures are: Russian President Vladimir Putin and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Rather than enjoy a mere nominal presence in the world community, the ICC has proved its effectiveness by detaining and bringing to justice scores of VIP politicians and others of their ilk who have been found guilty of human rights abuses and kindred excesses that come within the terms of reference of the ICC.

Accordingly, the international justice system would be stymied considerably as a result of the ICC being dis-empowered, particularly financially. Needless to say, potential and real perpetrators of the species of crime coming under the jurisdiction of the ICC would stand to gain most from such anarchic tendencies. That is, political repression globally would be enabled to enjoy a new lease of life.

A detailing of the types of crime coming under the purview of the ICC provides an idea of what it would cost the international community if the ICC’s operations are gravely hampered. They are mainly: genocide, war crimes, crimes against humanity and the crime of aggression.

That is, the part of the world to be worst affected would be the global South, since the latter is awash with the mentioned crimes. Needless to say, a chronically-disaffected South will sooner rather than later undermine the well being of the world dangerously. The world is already being put through these paces.

At the time of writing, ‘illegal migrants’ from the South, for example, are aggravating many a Western economy’s woes, besides creating for them acute law and order issues. The fact that these migrants’ presence goes on to become a virtual test of the migrant receiving states’ ability to forge domestic social inclusion in the face of jingoistic protests by mainly white supremacist groups is evidence of the latter. As is known, the US, to take just one example, has been up against this crisis for quite a while.

Accordingly, it will be in the best interests of the West if ‘illegal’ migrant arrivals on their shores are stemmed. If the socio-political and economic problems assailing the South are effectively managed through North-South collaborative, ‘trouble-shooting’ efforts the causes leading to ‘illegal’ migration and connected issues could be resolved at source as it were. For, it is the aggravation of the South’s material questions that lays the basis for the emergence of repressive and anti-democratic regimes in the hemisphere.

Until such time that the aforementioned issues in North-South relations are visited afresh and addressed urgently, a vibrantly functioning ICC would be needed. For, the latter would prove a deterrent to Southern political and military strongmen, highly prone to power abuse and like excesses, from coming into being in the wake of the South’s chronic material woes and the wars and conflicts that result from them.

It stands to reason then that the US would be acting in its own interests by enabling the ICC to perpetuate its mandate without hindrance. For a crop of issues that impinges negatively on internal law and order would be defused.

Meanwhile, there needs to be a meeting of minds among the rest of the West to put back in place a North-South dialogue process aimed at reducing some of the economic pressures that are weighing on the South.

Since economics usually drives politics it will be in the interests of the world community to scrutinizingly re-visit North-South issues of the past and put in place economic relief packages for Southern publics that would enable them to tide over their material hardships rather than permit the latter to aggravate into social disaffection and eventually armed militancy. It is the latter juncture that paves the way for the emergence of authoritarian rulers in the South who then go on to be a blight on their publics.

Accordingly, the Southern-based global development thinking of the past that envisaged a more equitable world economic order needs to be seen as an urgent need. That is, NAM’s international development paradigms need to be resuscitated to the extent possible.

It is unlikely that rightist governments of the West, such as the current Republican administration in the US, would find these projects feasible, but democratic states of Europe, led by perhaps the UK, are likely to think otherwise. For it would not be beneficial for the democratic world to be having on their hands repressive governments in the South who would be gravitating towards the major military and economic actors of the South, such as Iran and North Korea, who tend to be in constant power struggles with the West.

However, until such time that the mentioned, pro-people initiatives are given serious thought the ICC would need to be enabled by the international community to be in place comfortably and carry on with its mandate of bringing repressive rulers to book. Besides the ICC should pave the way for the peoples of the developing world to enjoy some substantial respite from the political repression and even terror which tend to be their lot.

Meanwhile, the wars of West Asia are relentlessly aggravating the economic hardships of people everywhere, driving the point home to enlightened sections that there is no alternative to peacemaking. A challenge is to convert the US under President Trump to this line of thinking.

Features

Clear, soft and shine-free skin

Published

10 hours ago

2026/10/15

Thilina Walpola

This week, I give you five simple, time-tested homemade remedies that help reduce the appearance of blemishes, control excess shine and leave your skin feeling softer and smoother.

The Honey and Lemon Brightening Dab:

For stubborn blemish marks, this is a classic. Mix one teaspoon of pure bee honey with three to four drops of fresh lemon juice. Apply gently, only on the affected spots, and leave for 10 minutes before rinsing with lukewarm water. While honey soothes and softens, lemon helps to brighten naturally. Use twice a week in the evening.

Besan and Rose Water Oil-Control Pack:

An ideal remedy to combat shine, especially on the T-zone. Take two teaspoons of besan (gram flour) and mix with sufficient rose water to form a smooth paste. Add a pinch of turmeric for its antiseptic goodness. Apply evenly, keep for 15 minutes and wash off. It absorbs excess oil without over-drying, leaving a beautiful matte finish.

Aloe Vera and Cucumber Ice Soother:

Blend fresh aloe vera gel with the juice of a grated cucumber and freeze the mixture in an ice tray. Each morning, wrap one cube in a soft muslin cloth and gently rub over a cleansed face for 30 seconds. It calms, tightens pores and imparts a baby-soft smoothness.

Oatmeal and Curd Gentle Polish:

Roughness and old blemish marks need gentle exfoliation. Combine one tablespoon of finely powdered oatmeal with one tablespoon of fresh curd (yoghurt). Massage very gently, in circular motions, for one minute, leave for five minutes and rinse. It removes dead cells and unveils softer, clearer skin.

Multani Mitti and Green Tea Magic Mask:

Brew some green tea and allow it to cool completely. Mix one and a half teaspoons of Multani Mitti (Fuller’s Earth) with the tea water to make a fine paste. Apply for 10 to 12 minutes – do not let it dry and crack completely – and wash off. It draws out impurities, fades blemishes and bestows a fresh, shine-free glow.

A Gentle Reminder:

As with any natural remedy, always do a patch test on your inner arm first. For those with oily or combination skin, avoid heavy coconut oil application and harsh scrubbing, as they tend to aggravate shine and blemishes.

Features

Compete, shine and be discovered at WCOPA 2027

Published

10 hours ago

2026/10/15

Thilina Walpola

Dream of performing on a world stage? Well, here is your unique, golden opportunity!

The World Championships of Performing Arts (WCOPA) — the one and only official “Talent Olympics” — is the world’s premier global platform for aspiring singers, dancers, actors, models, instrumentalists, etc., to compete, shine and be discovered!

And, yes, this world stage is open to YOU, Sri Lankans living in Sri Lanka and overseas!

Held annually in glittering Las Vegas, WCOPA brings together over 70 countries, all competing for Gold, Silver and Bronze Medals, just like the traditional Olympics.

Lakisha Bernard: Will represent Team Sri Lanka at WCOPA 2027

Outstanding performers vie for the coveted titles of Junior and Senior Grand Champion Performer of the World, with winners and standout participants awarded over $500,000 in scholarships, cash awards and prizes to catapult their education and careers!

Sri Lanka is already making waves! At WCOPA 2026, Natharie Wickramasinghe, representing Team Sri Lanka, made the nation proud by winning a Bronze Medal in the Ethnic/Folklore Dance category!

Lakisha: Accomplished freelance Model and Fashion Design graduate

Recruitment for this prestigious competition is handled through a system of scouts and licensed National Directors — and this is where our very own Chris Rajendra, now based in Las Vegas, and National Director for Team Sri Lanka, comes into the scene.

If you are a singer, dancer, actor, model, instrumentalist — if you have talent burning inside you — contact Chris Rajendra today for registration and, who knows, you may find yourself in Las Vegas, and proudly draped in the Sri Lankan flag, at WCOPA 2027!

The contact address is: Chris Rajendra, wcopa.nationaldirector.sl@gmail.com

or chris.rajendra@gmail.com

Meanwhile, a star is born for 2027, in the form of Lakisha Bernard who is all set to represent Team Sri Lanka at WCOPA 2027.

Originally hailing from the sun-drenched coastal city of Colombo and now carving out her creative career in Canada, 22-year-old Lakisha is stepping into the international spotlight.

This accomplished freelance Model and Fashion Design graduate has officially been appointed as the Team Sri Lanka Promoter for Canada as she prepares to represent Team Sri Lanka at WCOPA in Las Vegas.

Lakisha brings a unique blend of high-fashion sensibility, captivating camera presence and expert garment design to the Team.

Having built her career, from local college shoots to high-glamour concepts, Lakisha’s inspiring journey embodies the true spirit of cultural bridge-building and creative resilience, bringing immense pride and recognition to Sri Lanka on the global stage.

WCOPA 2027 will be held at the legendary Westgate Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas, from 12th to 20th July – the very same iconic arena where the late, great Elvis Presley himself performed!

Your moment is now. Your stage is Las Vegas, so hurry and contact Chris Rajendra.