Features
Importance of staying together
I was on a long-distance bus when two young women sat behind my seat. As usual they started talking about their children. One woman said, “Kids of divorced parents are kicked back and forth like a football.” The image of a man kicking a football grabbed my attention. When parents go in different directions after a divorce, children become footballs between mother and father.
Any type of separation, or divorce, can have devastating consequences on children. Sometimes the custody of a girl is given to the mother at the conclusion of a divorce case. It is not easy for a girl to face life when she loses one of her parents for no fault on her part.
To a disgruntled couple divorce may be the only solution. For them a divorce has great appeal. Sometimes the sheer incompatibility may force the parents to seek a divorce. In law, however, incompatibility is not a ground for divorce. In order to file a case for divorce a spouse has to prove impotency at the time of marriage, malicious desertion or adultery. Our lawmakers are planning to introduce some amendments to the existing law. I do not know whether they are going to make it easy for parents to end their marriage through divorce. However, the aftereffects of a divorce will affect the children. Ending a marriage through divorce may be OK for the parties involved, but it is not totally satisfying to the kids.
Radical restructuring
No matter how much love and caring divorced parents devote to a child, it will not ease the radical restructuring of the child’s world. If you wish to probe the restructuring, launch a study of children of divorced families. The modern trend is that divorced parents continue to love and support their children although they do not live together.
A divorce usually splits an integrated family into two segments, each with its own nucleus. When parents and children live under one roof, kids become the nucleus. A divorced father or mother moves to the centre of his or her own new world leaving the children out. In happy families children grow up while becoming the centre of the family. After a divorce, children feel acute loneliness. They have no home to return to after school. Nobody is waiting for their arrival.
When children find that their parents have gone in different directions, they depend on their peers or try to deal with their problems alone. Like a blacksmith forges iron in the intense heat of a roaring fire, children forge their own values in the intense heat of their inner lives. They try to find a way out of their troubled life.
Role models
Human life has many core values. In a marriage children think that their parents are role models. They would never criticize their parents. After a divorce, children feel left out and begin to disrespect their parents. If you ask a child in a divorced family, he will say, “I love my mother, but I don’t respect her.” The same sentiments apply to the father as well.
Those who have read fairy tales are familiar with a dashing young man meeting a beautiful young woman. They fall in love and get married. They live happily with their children. However, the scenario has changed in the 21st century. Today a dashing young man meets a beautiful young woman. They fall in love and live together. Sometimes they get married and produce children, but ultimately they get divorced.
The percentage of women who are married has declined in most Western countries. In the United States the number of married couples has increased over the past two decades. The institution of marriage has changed considerably. Apart from that, when people get married the probability of divorce is very high today. Although divorce rates have been declining in the United States since they peaked in 1981, about half of all first marriages ended in divorce. The rise in divorce is not confined to the United States. The divorce rate has accelerated almost in all the industrialised countries. Even in Asian countries, such as South Korea, the divorce rate is very high.
Adverse impact
Changes in marriage and divorce trends have doubled the number of single parent households in the United States and elsewhere. As a result, most children are forced to live with their mother or father until they turn 18. In most single parent families, it is the mother, rather than the father, with whom the children live. Single parent families are often economically less well off. This has an adverse impact on children. What is more, the separation of parents is often a painful experience for children. Sometimes children would blame themselves for the breakup of the family. There is evidence to suggest that children of divorced families are not well adjusted to face life’s problems than those who come from happy families.
John Gottman, a University of Washington psychologist, has studied the emotional glue that binds couples together and the corrosive feelings that can destroy marriages. An early warning signal that a marriage is in danger, Gottman finds, is harsh criticism. In a healthy marriage husband and wife feel free to argue on household matters. There is a difference between complaints and personal criticisms. In a complaint a wife specially states what is upsetting her. In a personal criticism she uses specific grievances to launch an attack on her husband. This kind of criticism leaves the husband ashamed. In his defence he might resort to stonewalling. He would withdraw from the conversation by responding with a stony expression and silence. It sends a powerful message. Stonewalling comes up mainly in marriages heading for trouble.
However much you try to prevent divorce, some marriages will go on the rocks and children will be left alone. Those who face such a situation need not worry unnecessarily. From an existential standpoint we are fundamentally alone despite the presence of our parents, friends and well-wishers. It is necessary to remember that we arrive and depart this life alone. Therefore you have to accept the naturalness of loneliness as a liberating feeling. Accept your loneliness as a tincture of your soul. Psychologist Carl Jung who spent much of his childhood alone said his loneliness opened him to dreams and a spiritual life. Throughout the ages mystics, artists and seers have tapped this emotional impetus for more extensive access to themselves.
If you happen to be a child of a broken family, this is the ideal time to improve your skills and face life bravely. There is nothing impossible to someone with a firm determination to reach his goal.
(karunaratners@gmail.com)
by R.S. Karunaratne ✍️
Features
Crucial test for religious and ethnic harmony in Bangladesh
Will the Bangladesh parliamentary election bring into being a government that will ensure ethnic and religious harmony in the country? This is the poser on the lips of peace-loving sections in Bangladesh and a principal concern of those outside who mean the country well.
The apprehensions are mainly on the part of religious and ethnic minorities. The parliamentary poll of February 12th is expected to bring into existence a government headed by the Bangladesh Nationalist Party (BNP) and the Islamist oriented Jamaat-e-Islami party and this is where the rub is. If these parties win, will it be a case of Bangladesh sliding in the direction of a theocracy or a state where majoritarian chauvinism thrives?
Chief of the Jamaat, Shafiqur Rahman, who was interviewed by sections of the international media recently said that there is no need for minority groups in Bangladesh to have the above fears. He assured, essentially, that the state that will come into being will be equable and inclusive. May it be so, is likely to be the wish of those who cherish a tension-free Bangladesh.
The party that could have posed a challenge to the above parties, the Awami League Party of former Prime Minister Hasina Wased, is out of the running on account of a suspension that was imposed on it by the authorities and the mentioned majoritarian-oriented parties are expected to have it easy at the polls.
A positive that has emerged against the backdrop of the poll is that most ordinary people in Bangladesh, be they Muslim or Hindu, are for communal and religious harmony and it is hoped that this sentiment will strongly prevail, going ahead. Interestingly, most of them were of the view, when interviewed, that it was the politicians who sowed the seeds of discord in the country and this viewpoint is widely shared by publics all over the region in respect of the politicians of their countries.
Some sections of the Jamaat party were of the view that matters with regard to the orientation of governance are best left to the incoming parliament to decide on but such opinions will be cold comfort for minority groups. If the parliamentary majority comes to consist of hard line Islamists, for instance, there is nothing to prevent the country from going in for theocratic governance. Consequently, minority group fears over their safety and protection cannot be prevented from spreading.
Therefore, we come back to the question of just and fair governance and whether Bangladesh’s future rulers could ensure these essential conditions of democratic rule. The latter, it is hoped, will be sufficiently perceptive to ascertain that a Bangladesh rife with religious and ethnic tensions, and therefore unstable, would not be in the interests of Bangladesh and those of the region’s countries.
Unfortunately, politicians region-wide fall for the lure of ethnic, religious and linguistic chauvinism. This happens even in the case of politicians who claim to be democratic in orientation. This fate even befell Bangladesh’s Awami League Party, which claims to be democratic and socialist in general outlook.
We have it on the authority of Taslima Nasrin in her ground-breaking novel, ‘Lajja’, that the Awami Party was not of any substantial help to Bangladesh’s Hindus, for example, when violence was unleashed on them by sections of the majority community. In fact some elements in the Awami Party were found to be siding with the Hindus’ murderous persecutors. Such are the temptations of hard line majoritarianism.
In Sri Lanka’s past numerous have been the occasions when even self-professed Leftists and their parties have conveniently fallen in line with Southern nationalist groups with self-interest in mind. The present NPP government in Sri Lanka has been waxing lyrical about fostering national reconciliation and harmony but it is yet to prove its worthiness on this score in practice. The NPP government remains untested material.
As a first step towards national reconciliation it is hoped that Sri Lanka’s present rulers would learn the Tamil language and address the people of the North and East of the country in Tamil and not Sinhala, which most Tamil-speaking people do not understand. We earnestly await official language reforms which afford to Tamil the dignity it deserves.
An acid test awaits Bangladesh as well on the nation-building front. Not only must all forms of chauvinism be shunned by the incoming rulers but a secular, truly democratic Bangladesh awaits being licked into shape. All identity barriers among people need to be abolished and it is this process that is referred to as nation-building.
On the foreign policy frontier, a task of foremost importance for Bangladesh is the need to build bridges of amity with India. If pragmatism is to rule the roost in foreign policy formulation, Bangladesh would place priority to the overcoming of this challenge. The repatriation to Bangladesh of ex-Prime Minister Hasina could emerge as a steep hurdle to bilateral accord but sagacious diplomacy must be used by Bangladesh to get over the problem.
A reply to N.A. de S. Amaratunga
A response has been penned by N.A. de S. Amaratunga (please see p5 of ‘The Island’ of February 6th) to a previous column by me on ‘ India shaping-up as a Swing State’, published in this newspaper on January 29th , but I remain firmly convinced that India remains a foremost democracy and a Swing State in the making.
If the countries of South Asia are to effectively manage ‘murderous terrorism’, particularly of the separatist kind, then they would do well to adopt to the best of their ability a system of government that provides for power decentralization from the centre to the provinces or periphery, as the case may be. This system has stood India in good stead and ought to prove effective in all other states that have fears of disintegration.
Moreover, power decentralization ensures that all communities within a country enjoy some self-governing rights within an overall unitary governance framework. Such power-sharing is a hallmark of democratic governance.
Features
Celebrating Valentine’s Day …
Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love, romance, and affection, and this is how some of our well-known personalities plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day – 14th February:
Merlina Fernando (Singer)
Yes, it’s a special day for lovers all over the world and it’s even more special to me because 14th February is the birthday of my husband Suresh, who’s the lead guitarist of my band Mission.
We have planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day and his Birthday together and it will be a wonderful night as always.
We will be having our fans and close friends, on that night, with their loved ones at Highso – City Max hotel Dubai, from 9.00 pm onwards.
Lorensz Francke (Elvis Tribute Artiste)
On Valentine’s Day I will be performing a live concert at a Wealthy Senior Home for Men and Women, and their families will be attending, as well.
I will be performing live with romantic, iconic love songs and my song list would include ‘Can’t Help falling in Love’, ‘Love Me Tender’, ‘Burning Love’, ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’, ‘The Wonder of You’ and ‘’It’s Now or Never’ to name a few.
To make Valentine’s Day extra special I will give the Home folks red satin scarfs.
Emma Shanaya (Singer)
I plan on spending the day of love with my girls, especially my best friend. I don’t have a romantic Valentine this year but I am thrilled to spend it with the girl that loves me through and through. I’ll be in Colombo and look forward to go to a cute cafe and spend some quality time with my childhood best friend Zulha.
JAYASRI

Emma-and-Maneeka
This Valentine’s Day the band JAYASRI we will be really busy; in the morning we will be landing in Sri Lanka, after our Oman Tour; then in the afternoon we are invited as Chief Guests at our Maris Stella College Sports Meet, Negombo, and late night we will be with LineOne band live in Karandeniya Open Air Down South. Everywhere we will be sharing LOVE with the mass crowds.
Kay Jay (Singer)
I will stay at home and cook a lovely meal for lunch, watch some movies, together with Sanjaya, and, maybe we go out for dinner and have a lovely time. Come to think of it, every day is Valentine’s Day for me with Sanjaya Alles.
Maneka Liyanage (Beauty Tips)
On this special day, I celebrate love by spending meaningful time with the people I cherish. I prepare food with love and share meals together, because food made with love brings hearts closer. I enjoy my leisure time with them — talking, laughing, sharing stories, understanding each other, and creating beautiful memories. My wish for this Valentine’s Day is a world without fighting — a world where we love one another like our own beloved, where we do not hurt others, even through a single word or action. Let us choose kindness, patience, and understanding in everything we do.
Janaka Palapathwala (Singer)

Janaka
Valentine’s Day should not be the only day we speak about love.
From the moment we are born into this world, we seek love, first through the very drop of our mother’s milk, then through the boundless care of our Mother and Father, and the embrace of family.
Love is everywhere. All living beings, even plants, respond in affection when they are loved.
As we grow, we learn to love, and to be loved. One day, that love inspires us to build a new family of our own.
Love has no beginning and no end. It flows through every stage of life, timeless, endless, and eternal.
Natasha Rathnayake (Singer)
We don’t have any special plans for Valentine’s Day. When you’ve been in love with the same person for over 25 years, you realise that love isn’t a performance reserved for one calendar date. My husband and I have never been big on public displays, or grand gestures, on 14th February. Our love is expressed quietly and consistently, in ordinary, uncelebrated moments.
With time, you learn that love isn’t about proving anything to the world or buying into a commercialised idea of romance—flowers that wilt, sweets that spike blood sugar, and gifts that impress briefly but add little real value. In today’s society, marketing often pushes the idea that love is proven by how much money you spend, and that buying things is treated as a sign of commitment.
Real love doesn’t need reminders or price tags. It lives in showing up every day, choosing each other on unromantic days, and nurturing the relationship intentionally and without an audience.
This isn’t a judgment on those who enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s simply a personal choice.
Melloney Dassanayake (Miss Universe Sri Lanka 2024)
I truly believe it’s beautiful to have a day specially dedicated to love. But, for me, Valentine’s Day goes far beyond romantic love alone. It celebrates every form of love we hold close to our hearts: the love for family, friends, and that one special person who makes life brighter. While 14th February gives us a moment to pause and celebrate, I always remind myself that love should never be limited to just one day. Every single day should feel like Valentine’s Day – constant reminder to the people we love that they are never alone, that they are valued, and that they matter.
I’m incredibly blessed because, for me, every day feels like Valentine’s Day. My special person makes sure of that through the smallest gestures, the quiet moments, and the simple reminders that love lives in the details. He shows me that it’s the little things that count, and that love doesn’t need grand stages to feel extraordinary. This Valentine’s Day, perfection would be something intimate and meaningful: a cozy picnic in our home garden, surrounded by nature, laughter, and warmth, followed by an abstract drawing session where we let our creativity flow freely. To me, that’s what love is – simple, soulful, expressive, and deeply personal. When love is real, every ordinary moment becomes magical.
Noshin De Silva (Actress)
Valentine’s Day is one of my favourite holidays! I love the décor, the hearts everywhere, the pinks and reds, heart-shaped chocolates, and roses all around. But honestly, I believe every day can be Valentine’s Day.
It doesn’t have to be just about romantic love. It’s a chance to celebrate love in all its forms with friends, family, or even by taking a little time for yourself.
Whether you’re spending the day with someone special or enjoying your own company, it’s a reminder to appreciate meaningful connections, show kindness, and lead with love every day.
And yes, I’m fully on theme this year with heart nail art and heart mehendi design!
Wishing everyone a very happy Valentine’s Day, but, remember, love yourself first, and don’t forget to treat yourself.
Sending my love to all of you.
Features
Banana and Aloe Vera
To create a powerful, natural, and hydrating beauty mask that soothes inflammation, fights acne, and boosts skin radiance, mix a mashed banana with fresh aloe vera gel.
This nutrient-rich blend acts as an antioxidant-packed anti-ageing treatment that also doubles as a nourishing, shiny hair mask.
* Face Masks for Glowing Skin:
Mix 01 ripe banana with 01 tablespoon of fresh aloe vera gel and apply this mixture to the face. Massage for a few minutes, leave for 15-20 minutes, and then rinse off for a glowing complexion.
* Acne and Soothing Mask:
Mix 01 tablespoon of fresh aloe vera gel with 1/2 a mashed banana and 01 teaspoon of honey. Apply this mixture to clean skin to calm inflammation, reduce redness, and hydrate dry, sensitive skin. Leave for 15-20 minutes, and rinse with warm water.
* Hair Treatment for Shine:
Mix 01 fresh ripe banana with 03 tablespoons of fresh aloe vera gel and 01 teaspoon of honey. Apply from scalp to ends, massage for 10-15 minutes and then let it dry for maximum absorption. Rinse thoroughly with cool water for soft, shiny, and frizz-free hair.
-
Features4 days agoMy experience in turning around the Merchant Bank of Sri Lanka (MBSL) – Episode 3
-
Business5 days agoZone24x7 enters 2026 with strong momentum, reinforcing its role as an enterprise AI and automation partner
-
Business4 days agoRemotely conducted Business Forum in Paris attracts reputed French companies
-
Business4 days agoFour runs, a thousand dreams: How a small-town school bowled its way into the record books
-
Business4 days agoComBank and Hayleys Mobility redefine sustainable mobility with flexible leasing solutions
-
Business1 day agoAutodoc 360 relocates to reinforce commitment to premium auto care
-
Business5 days agoHNB recognized among Top 10 Best Employers of 2025 at the EFC National Best Employer Awards
-
Business5 days agoGREAT 2025–2030: Sri Lanka’s Green ambition meets a grid reality check
