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A skit on Lessons in US History

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CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DAY

by Vijaya Chandrasoma

I apologize for the delay in writing this essay. Christopher Columbus Day was actually celebrated in the USA on October 9. At least I got the month right, a mistake not as spectacularly earth-shattering as the one Columbus made. He had sailed from Italy in 1492, with a crew of 90 men in three ships, the Nina, Pinta and the Santa Maria. His destination was India, from where he had been ordered by Queen Isabella of Spain to bring back the spices from the Orient, in high demand by Europeans in those times.

With his pathetic navigational skills, Columbus missed the turn-off, possibly at the Canary Islands, where the wind carried him west. He ultimately made landfall on a small island in the Bahamas, which he named San Salvador. Columbus was sure he had landed in India, as he called all the inhabitants of the island “Indians”. Although, in time, he suspected that he had made a mistake.

All the islanders who greeted him on arrival spoke in a language far more mellifluous than the jarring accents of Hindi, the language of India. Like many Europeans, Columbus had a smattering of knowledge of Hindi. After all, there are few places in the world which did not boast of an Indian restaurant, even in the 15th century. In fact, the joke runs that when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, he sensed the spicy aromas of Indian and Chinese restaurants plying their respective culinary trades in adjacent craters.

His rival explorer, Vasco da Gama, proved to be the more skillful navigator. He took the right turn and landed in India, a land rich in the treasures sought by the Europeans of more value than gold and jewels – spices.

Chris was, however, furious that he was cheated in the naming of the New World, notwithstanding the fact that he had landed in the Bahamas, which he mistook for India. Close enough, was his argument.

The Americas, both North and South, were named after Italian explorer, Amerigo Vespucci, who explored the New World in the years after Columbus’ “discovery”, on behalf of Spain and Portugal. A whole continent named after Vespucci, by an affectionate variation of his first name used by his mamma, America.

Poor Columbus only has Columbus, a little town in Ohio, the Columbia River, Columbia University and the South American country of Colombia, named after him.

But four against an entire continent! That is hardly even worthy of comparison. Still, the Americas may have been named after Amerigo Vespucci, but, to Columbus’ credit, the Americans did not name a day after Vespucci. That honour belongs to Chris, thanks to the complete ignorance of Americans of the subject of Geography. They thought the Bahamas was a part of coastal America.

Old Chris was also not happy when he saw these strange island people with the skin-colour of a beautiful tan, a shade far more aesthetically pleasing than his own pasty-white. Hostility probably caused by an inferiority complex. A tanned skin has always been deemed attractive by Europeans, who rush to the beaches and the banks of rivers whenever the sun shines during their short-lived Summers, to bask and sunbathe in unashamed nudity.

Sadly, Europeans have infected this inferiority complex to ladies of Africa and South Asia. Living in the colonial past, these beautiful ladies, even today, try to change the varying and lovely shades of brown with which they have been blessed, in an attempt to change their skin-colour to resemble the anemic white of colonial Europeans. It is no surprise that the biggest selling cosmetic East of Suez, even in these modern, enlightened times, is skin-whitening cream.

This anomaly was driven home to me while I was working on a temporary basis in one of the resorts in the Maldive Islands, a paradise for deep-sea divers, snorkelers and sun worshippers. These little coral islands, numbering over 1,100, grouped in double chains of 27 atolls and covering an area of 115 square miles of the Indian Ocean, represent the “desert island” paradise, the retirement fantasy of many people living in the bleak, hostile, cold “civilizations” of the northern hemisphere.

The only method of transport between these islands was by speedboat or yacht, sailboat or barge. The sight of a boatful of white Europeans, sunbathing in glorious nudity on their decks, trying to get a brown tan on every inch of their bodies, was common. Equally and sadly common was the sight of beautiful brown-skinned ladies, covering every inch of the exposed parts of their bodies with a multitude of towels, to ward off the sunshine which would make them “darker”!

The real “discovery” of America is attributed to the landing of the Mayflower, with pilgrims and crew numbering 102 people, ordinary English men and women, which made landfall on Plymouth Rock in Plymouth Bay, Massachusetts, during the harsh winter of 1620. Only half these immigrants survived that first winter. The ship provided defense against the weather, while a settlement was under construction.

The pilgrims and the crew met with the neighbouring inhabitants of the land, the Wampanoag People of the tribe of Massachusetts, who initially greeted them with hospitality. This was one of the original tribes who had inhabited their lands for centuries past, living according to traditions of peace and compassion, conducting their lives in harmony with nature. The immigrants and the natives worked together till the harvest season of 1621, when they enjoyed a meal together, a historic event that is celebrated even today by Americans during the end of the third week in November.

Of course, members of the Wampanoag tribe and other native Americans are singularly conspicuous in their absence during these modern Thanksgiving celebrations.

Like all the marauding Europeans in those colonial times, they took advantage of the compassion and hospitality of the natives, which they perceived as weakness. They pretended to be friends of these unsuspecting innocents, and systematically murdered them all, in the most gruesome recorded genocide in human history.

And that, children, is the real story of the early origins of the mighty United States of America.

In our next class, Professor Ron DeSantis, graduate of Harvard University and Yale Law, Navy Seal, eminent historian, currently the Governor of Florida, will enlighten you on the great good fortune of West Africans, when they decided, of their own free will, to emigrate to this great country in the 17th century. Professor DeSantis will spellbind you with a lecture on the wonderful job opportunities that have opened up for these far-sighted immigrants, who were fortunate enough to participate in structured training programs designed to meet their specific needs in the cotton plantations in the South. As he most convincingly argues, “Black people benefited from being enslaved…. Some of these folks eventually parlayed, you know, being a blacksmith into doing better things later in life”. His thesis completely disproves the woke theories of other historians, probably damn communists, who wrongly claim that DeSantis misrepresents centuries of the brutal reality of slavery in the history of the nation.

DeSantis is a leading contender for the presidency of the greatest, most peace-loving country on the face of the Earth, in November 2024.

Let us pray.



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Features

Ranking public services with AI — A roadmap to reviving institutions like SriLankan Airlines

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Efficacy measures an organisation’s capacity to achieve its mission and intended outcomes under planned or optimal conditions. It differs from efficiency, which focuses on achieving objectives with minimal resources, and effectiveness, which evaluates results in real-world conditions. Today, modern AI tools, using publicly available data, enable objective assessment of the efficacy of Sri Lanka’s government institutions.

Among key public bodies, the Supreme Court of Sri Lanka emerges as the most efficacious, outperforming the Department of Inland Revenue, Sri Lanka Customs, the Election Commission, and Parliament. In the financial and regulatory sector, the Central Bank of Sri Lanka (CBSL) ranks highest, ahead of the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Public Utilities Commission, the Telecommunications Regulatory Commission, the Insurance Regulatory Commission, and the Sri Lanka Standards Institution.

Among state-owned enterprises, the Sri Lanka Ports Authority (SLPA) leads in efficacy, followed by Bank of Ceylon and People’s Bank. Other institutions assessed included the State Pharmaceuticals Corporation, the National Water Supply and Drainage Board, the Ceylon Electricity Board, the Ceylon Petroleum Corporation, and the Sri Lanka Transport Board. At the lower end of the spectrum were Lanka Sathosa and Sri Lankan Airlines, highlighting a critical challenge for the national economy.

Sri Lankan Airlines, consistently ranked at the bottom, has long been a financial drain. Despite successive governments’ reform attempts, sustainable solutions remain elusive.

Globally, the most profitable airlines operate as highly integrated, technology-enabled ecosystems rather than as fragmented departments. Operations, finance, fleet management, route planning, engineering, marketing, and customer service are closely coordinated, sharing real-time data to maximise efficiency, safety, and profitability.

The challenge for Sri Lankan Airlines is structural. Its operations are fragmented, overly hierarchical, and poorly aligned. Simply replacing the CEO or senior leadership will not address these deep-seated weaknesses. What the airline needs is a cohesive, integrated organisational ecosystem that leverages technology for cross-functional planning and real-time decision-making.

The government must urgently consider restructuring Sri Lankan Airlines to encourage:

=Joint planning across operational divisions

=Data-driven, evidence-based decision-making

=Continuous cross-functional consultation

=Collaborative strategic decisions on route rationalisation, fleet renewal, partnerships, and cost management, rather than exclusive top-down mandates

Sustainable reform requires systemic change. Without modernised organisational structures, stronger accountability, and aligned incentives across divisions, financial recovery will remain out of reach. An integrated, performance-oriented model offers the most realistic path to operational efficiency and long-term viability.

Reforming loss-making institutions like Sri Lankan Airlines is not merely a matter of leadership change — it is a structural overhaul essential to ensuring these entities contribute productively to the national economy rather than remain perpetual burdens.

By Chula Goonasekera – Citizen Analyst

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Why Pi Day?

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International Day of Mathematics falls tomorrow

The approximate value of Pi (π) is 3.14 in mathematics. Therefore, the day 14 March is celebrated as the Pi Day. In 2019, UNESCO proclaimed 14 March as the International Day of Mathematics.

Ancient Babylonians and Egyptians figured out that the circumference of a circle is slightly more than three times its diameter. But they could not come up with an exact value for this ratio although they knew that it is a constant. This constant was later named as π which is a letter in the Greek alphabet.

Archimedes

It was the Greek mathematician Archimedes (250 BC) who was able to find an upper bound and a lower bound for this constant. He drew a circle of diameter one unit and drew hexagons inside and outside the circle such that the sides of each hexagon touch the sides of the circle. In mathematics the circle passing through all vertices of a polygon is called a ‘circumcircle’ and the largest circle that fits inside a polygon tangent to all its sides is called an ‘incircle’. The total length of the smaller hexagon then becomes the lower bound of π and the length of the hexagon outside the circle is the upper bound. He realised that by increasing the number of sides of the polygon can make the bounds get closer to the value of Pi and increased the number of sides to 12,24,48 and 60. He argued that by increasing the number of sides will ultimately result in obtaining the original circle, thereby laying the foundation for the theory of limits. He ended up with the lower bound as 22/7 and the upper bound 223/71. He could not continue his research as his hometown Syracuse was invaded by Romans and was killed by one of the soldiers. His last words were ‘do not disturb my circles’, perhaps a reference to his continuing efforts to find the value of π to a greater accuracy.

Archimedes can be considered as the father of geometry. His contributions revolutionised geometry and his methods anticipated integral calculus. He invented the pulley and the hydraulic screw for drawing water from a well. He also discovered the law of hydrostatics. He formulated the law of levers which states that a smaller weight placed farther from a pivot can balance a much heavier weight closer to it. He famously said “Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I will move the earth”.

Mathematicians have found many expressions for π as a sum of infinite series that converge to its value. One such famous series is the Leibniz Series found in 1674 by the German mathematician Gottfried Leibniz, which is given below.

π = 4 ( 1 – 1/3 + 1/5 – 1/7 + 1/9 – ………….)

The Indian mathematical genius Ramanujan came up with a magnificent formula in 1910. The short form of the formula is as follows.

π = 9801/(1103 √8)

For practical applications an approximation is sufficient. Even NASA uses only the approximation 3.141592653589793 for its interplanetary navigation calculations.

It is not just an interesting and curious number. It is used for calculations in navigation, encryption, space exploration, video game development and even in medicine. As π is fundamental to spherical geometry, it is at the heart of positioning systems in GPS navigations. It also contributes significantly to cybersecurity. As it is an irrational number it is an excellent foundation for generating randomness required in encryption and securing communications. In the medical field, it helps to calculate blood flow rates and pressure differentials. In diagnostic tools such as CT scans and MRI, pi is an important component in mathematical algorithms and signal processing techniques.

This elegant, never-ending number demonstrates how mathematics transforms into practical applications that shape our world. The possibilities of what it can do are infinite as the number itself. It has become a symbol of beauty and complexity in mathematics. “It matters little who first arrives at an idea, rather what is significant is how far that idea can go.” said Sophie Germain.

Mathematics fans are intrigued by this irrational number and attempt to calculate it as far as they can. In March 2022, Emma Haruka Iwao of Japan calculated it to 100 trillion decimal places in Google Cloud. It had taken 157 days. The Guinness World Record for reciting the number from memory is held by Rajveer Meena of India for 70000 decimal places over 10 hours.

Happy Pi Day!

The author is a senior examiner of the International Baccalaureate in the UK and an educational consultant at the Overseas School of Colombo.

by R N A de Silva

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Features

Sheer rise of Realpolitik making the world see the brink

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A combined US-Israel attack on Iran.(BBC)

The recent humanly costly torpedoing of an Iranian naval vessel in Sri Lanka’s Exclusive Economic Zone by a US submarine has raised a number of issues of great importance to international political discourse and law that call for elucidation. It is best that enlightened commentary is brought to bear in such discussions because at present misleading and uninformed speculation on questions arising from the incident are being aired by particularly jingoistic politicians of Sri Lanka’s South which could prove deleterious.

As matters stand, there seems to be no credible evidence that the Indian state was aware of the impending torpedoing of the Iranian vessel but these acerbic-tongued politicians of Sri Lanka’s South would have the local public believe that the tragedy was triggered with India’s connivance. Likewise, India is accused of ‘embroiling’ Sri Lanka in the incident on account of seemingly having prior knowledge of it and not warning Sri Lanka about the impending disaster.

It is plain that a process is once again afoot to raise anti-India hysteria in Sri Lanka. An obligation is cast on the Sri Lankan government to ensure that incendiary speculation of the above kind is defeated and India-Sri Lanka relations are prevented from being in any way harmed. Proactive measures are needed by the Sri Lankan government and well meaning quarters to ensure that public discourse in such matters have a factual and rational basis. ‘Knowledge gaps’ could prove hazardous.

Meanwhile, there could be no doubt that Sri Lanka’s sovereignty was violated by the US because the sinking of the Iranian vessel took place in Sri Lanka’s Exclusive Economic Zone. While there is no international decrying of the incident, and this is to be regretted, Sri Lanka’s helplessness and small player status would enable the US to ‘get away with it’.

Could anything be done by the international community to hold the US to account over the act of lawlessness in question? None is the answer at present. This is because in the current ‘Global Disorder’ major powers could commit the gravest international irregularities with impunity. As the threadbare cliché declares, ‘Might is Right’….. or so it seems.

Unfortunately, the UN could only merely verbally denounce any violations of International Law by the world’s foremost powers. It cannot use countervailing force against violators of the law, for example, on account of the divided nature of the UN Security Council, whose permanent members have shown incapability of seeing eye-to-eye on grave matters relating to International Law and order over the decades.

The foregoing considerations could force the conclusion on uncritical sections that Political Realism or Realpolitik has won out in the end. A basic premise of the school of thought known as Political Realism is that power or force wielded by states and international actors determine the shape, direction and substance of international relations. This school stands in marked contrast to political idealists who essentially proclaim that moral norms and values determine the nature of local and international politics.

While, British political scientist Thomas Hobbes, for instance, was a proponent of Political Realism, political idealism has its roots in the teachings of Socrates, Plato and latterly Friedrich Hegel of Germany, to name just few such notables.

On the face of it, therefore, there is no getting way from the conclusion that coercive force is the deciding factor in international politics. If this were not so, US President Donald Trump in collaboration with Israeli Rightist Premier Benjamin Natanyahu could not have wielded the ‘big stick’, so to speak, on Iran, killed its Supreme Head of State, terrorized the Iranian public and gone ‘scot-free’. That is, currently, the US’ impunity seems to be limitless.

Moreover, the evidence is that the Western bloc is reuniting in the face of Iran’s threats to stymie the flow of oil from West Asia to the rest of the world. The recent G7 summit witnessed a coming together of the foremost powers of the global North to ensure that the West does not suffer grave negative consequences from any future blocking of western oil supplies.

Meanwhile, Israel is having a ‘free run’ of the Middle East, so to speak, picking out perceived adversarial powers, such as Lebanon, and militarily neutralizing them; once again with impunity. On the other hand, Iran has been bringing under assault, with no questions asked, Gulf states that are seen as allying with the US and Israel. West Asia is facing a compounded crisis and International Law seems to be helplessly silent.

Wittingly or unwittingly, matters at the heart of International Law and peace are being obfuscated by some pro-Trump administration commentators meanwhile. For example, retired US Navy Captain Brent Sadler has cited Article 51 of the UN Charter, which provides for the right to self or collective self-defence of UN member states in the face of armed attacks, as justifying the US sinking of the Iranian vessel (See page 2 of The Island of March 10, 2026). But the Article makes it clear that such measures could be resorted to by UN members only ‘ if an armed attack occurs’ against them and under no other circumstances. But no such thing happened in the incident in question and the US acted under a sheer threat perception.

Clearly, the US has violated the Article through its action and has once again demonstrated its tendency to arbitrarily use military might. The general drift of Sadler’s thinking is that in the face of pressing national priorities, obligations of a state under International Law could be side-stepped. This is a sure recipe for international anarchy because in such a policy environment states could pursue their national interests, irrespective of their merits, disregarding in the process their obligations towards the international community.

Moreover, Article 51 repeatedly reiterates the authority of the UN Security Council and the obligation of those states that act in self-defence to report to the Council and be guided by it. Sadler, therefore, could be said to have cited the Article very selectively, whereas, right along member states’ commitments to the UNSC are stressed.

However, it is beyond doubt that international anarchy has strengthened its grip over the world. While the US set destabilizing precedents after the crumbling of the Cold War that paved the way for the current anarchic situation, Russia further aggravated these degenerative trends through its invasion of Ukraine. Stepping back from anarchy has thus emerged as the prime challenge for the world community.

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